Dallas or Fort Worth for retired Gay Couple (Houston, Arlington: middle-class, fit in)

[BoulderJD]

I live in the southern suburbs of FW, but can't really help two of my closest friends who are considering retiring to the Dallas Fort Worth area. They currently have a small ranch in southern Colorado, but want to add a second home in Texas now that they have both retired. They are looking for a nice single family house or townhouse in a safe, secure, "accepting" area. Safe is the word I hear more and more. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[redstripe]

Advise them to take a look at Arlington Heights in Fort Worth. Please see yesterday's post on it under "Urban Living, Walkable Neighborhoods in FW?" (sorry I couldn't figure out how to direct link to it, but it's the 4th post down). It's a great, diverse neighborhood.

Unfortunately, I cannot comment on how "safe" it is specifically for a gay couple. I would like to think that it is a rather progressive area, but people's prejudice against homosexuals are usually pretty well-hidden. While my wife and I were living in Arlington Heights, we were walking our dog one day when we were stopped by a neighbor to chat. We talked for a long time about us, how long the lady had lived in that house (60 years!), and other things before she asked us if we were both "good Christians." My wife and I are atheist and are not ashamed about it, so we had to say no. Needless to say, her face darkened a little. I don't know if that counts as prejudice, but I would bet she wouldn't be the friendliest little old lady to a gay couple. Then again, maybe she would be--it's tough to say.

Anyway, it's a great neighborhood. Maybe some other gay people from Dallas or FW could chime in about their experiences.

[artcgal]

I would hope anyplace is acceptable and safe for gay couples.

On the street where we live now, the Fossil Creek/Park Glen/Summerfields area of Fort Worth, there have been two lesbian couples that have lived here...one across the street from us, the other moved away that lived about three doors down. Plus, we have a house that was just built...and, there is a lesbian couple on our new street that we will be living across from. This is in Lake Country.

I know this doesn't help you...but, I know that the couple that lives across the street from us have never been hassled or discriminated against that I know of... We all know one another on our street (pretty much)...and nobody seems to shun anybody.

[Weird Question Mark Guy]

Better fit for Dallas,definitly

[redstripe]

I guess my point is that people can seem perfectly friendly and progressive to people like me (white, straight, middle-class), but may demonstrate prejudice to other people. Just like I don't know what it would be like to live in my neighborhood as a black person (I can guess that it's fine, as there are several black families around us), I don't know what it would be like to be gay in my neighborhood.

As for "safety," I can make the educated guess that yes: a gay couple would be perfectly safe in Arlington Heights (and, indeed, anywhere in Fort Worth), as there just isn't a big problem with hate-crimes in the city. However, feeling "accepted" is different, and it's something that your friends would probably want to hear from other gay couples. While atheists are certainly a discriminated-against minority, it's not really the same (mostly because you can't tell by looking at us) as being gay, or black, or Hispanic, etc. Nonetheless, I think my story above demonstrated that we weren't as "accepted" in the neighborhood as a Christian couple might have been.

WQMG, with the comment above (no matter how inartfully put), has a point that Dallas has more areas that are known as gay-friendly. If that's what your friends are looking for (something like Montrose in Houston), then Dallas might be better. However, if they judge an area by the same criteria as most everyone else (good schools, pretty neighborhood, reasonably priced, friendly neighbors, close to activities, etc.), but with the added criterion of wishing to avoid bigotry, then they might want to hear from other gay couples in FW or Dallas.

Hope this helps & good luck to your friends.

[BoulderJD]

Originally Posted by redstripe

I guess my point is that people can seem perfectly friendly and progressive to people like me (white, straight, middle-class), but may demonstrate prejudice to other people. Just like I don't know what it would be like to live in my neighborhood as a black person (I can guess that it's fine, as there are several black families around us), I don't know what it would be like to be gay in my neighborhood.

As for "safety," I can make the educated guess that yes: a gay couple would be perfectly safe in Arlington Heights (and, indeed, anywhere in Fort Worth), as there just isn't a big problem with hate-crimes in the city. However, feeling "accepted" is different, and it's something that your friends would probably want to hear from other gay couples. While atheists are certainly a discriminated-against minority, it's not really the same (mostly because you can't tell by looking at us) as being gay, or black, or Hispanic, etc. Nonetheless, I think my story above demonstrated that we weren't as "accepted" in the neighborhood as a Christian couple might have been.

WQMG, with the comment above (no matter how inartfully put), has a point that Dallas has more areas that are known as gay-friendly. If that's what your friends are looking for (something like Montrose in Houston), then Dallas might be better. However, if they judge an area by the same criteria as most everyone else (good schools, pretty neighborhood, reasonably priced, friendly neighbors, close to activities, etc.), but with the added criterion of wishing to avoid bigotry, then they might want to hear from other gay couples in FW or Dallas.

Hope this helps & good luck to your friends.

Thanks to all you guys who answered! I placed the same post in the Dallas section of this site. Your comment about the woman turning red to your answer to her question of "being a good christian". I get that question a lot myself, or a form of it as in "do you know Jesus Christ as your personal savior". That question just doesn't work with my Emerson theosophical new age thought. It's amazing how people of the born again genre cast everyone else not in their cult as lepers. I don't think they will cause great physical harm, but they can make for unpleasant neighbors. My best to you and your wife in your journey. You sound like nice people.

[Synopsis]

I've lived in Texas for 20 years in various different cities around the metroplex and have never been asked if I'm a good christian or anything about my religion. Also, there is a gay couple right next door to me and they are accepted by everyone in the neighborhood; nobody complains or acts any differently. People love them being here because they are excellent neighbors. I wouldn't trade them for any neighbors in the world.

I think this fear factor that everyone has about Texas from other states is way overblown. I can understand your concern, but rest assured if you are good neighbors you'll probably be treated as such.

[hypocore]

Personally, I think that those who are not overtly looking for trouble will fit in anywhere irregardless of their differences.

I am a white woman, married to a black man with 2 older children from a first marriage and 2 younger from this marriage, so we fit the 'different' category as well.
The area we live in is predominantly white, and we've never had any issues brought to the surface. We both understand however that there are/will be people who don't approve, but as long as they keep those thoughts to themselves, it doesn't affect us.

I've known and lived near several different gay couples and never seen any issues arise from any of them. As long as they are good neighbors, as mentioned above, most people don't seem to care too much.

[Synopsis]

^ It sounds as if you and your husband would be great neighbors as well hypocore!

[catman]

My neighbors across the alley (in back of my house) are gay, and have had no problems that I know of. They've been accepted well enough to be on the 'Candlelight Christmas' home tour. It doesn't hurt that they are quite well off financially.