Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Congratulations - and yes- very nice of her to pay for your move-in costs. She was just being a concerned momma before. I've been known to be concered about my adult children (they are now 21 and 23) LOL
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by BorntoRun63
"This is not about finances, or allergies, or any such thing, when you get to the bottom of it. This is about a controlling mother who is stuck in a time warp where she is calling the shots about her children and she is unwilling to give up that role."
WHOA there! Don't you feel you're being a little harsh on this Mom?? After all, did she MAKE her daughter come running home to live with her?? No, I don't believe that was said. Sounds to me, if I read it correctly, like Mom was doing just fine with her empty nest.......and THEN daughter came back home, for whatever reasons. Now, maybe because of THAT, Mom is nervous for her daughter's security? And THAT makes her stuck in a friggin time warp??
Sounds to me like the person who replied that has a little bitterness or something maybe related to their own mom or whoever.....and is projecting that on the original poster?
I agree it's time you struck BACK out on your own, and maybe just determine in your own mind that no matter what, you won't go back to Mom, whatever happens, you will deal with it. Don't forget that every time a grown child moves back in with a parent, it throws their way of living/thinking into a tailspin. Of course most of the time they are happy you're there, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't make them not be able to continue doing things the way they like them.
Okay a couple of things.
1. I'm a son NOT a daughter.
2. This is not moving BACK in, I never left home before.
Now BorntoRun63's statement had a little bit of truth. She does like to make "suggestions" often on my career path and whatnot.
2. This is not moving BACK in, I never left home before.
Now BorntoRun63's statement had a little bit of truth. She does like to make "suggestions" often on my career path and whatnot.
I'm sure your mom means well. When it comes time for your children to leave the nest, it can be hard for some moms. And it doesn't matter how old you are, you will always be her baby. Just give her a little time to adjust. You are doing the right thing. It's time for you to spread your wings, as they say.
But she should not have opened your mail. That's crossing the line. If mom keeps trying to get in your business, just tell her nicely, "thank you, but I want to make my own decisions. If I feel I need your help, I will ask". You may have to set some boundaries if she doesn't listen.
I also think it was very nice of her to pay your move-in costs. She deserves a hug.
I didn't read where you stated how old you are but you sound like you're young. With that assumption, I would ask, why don't you want to work for the federal government? Your mom is right...you get in with them, as long as you don't screw up, you are set for life.
You can get in and transfer within the federal government for other jobs, you aren't just stuck to one job...but you keep them as your employer. They tend to be paid a whole hell of a lot better than the private sector.
Don't dismiss it entirely...look in to it and see what the options are. It's hard to make a fully formed decision if you don't even know all there is to know about it.
As far as moving on with your life, away from mom, if you're over 18, I don't see why it's a problem to do that. You are grown, you leave the nest and you fly away. That's how it works.
Do you know why your mom makes suggestions? Because she's lived life and seen things and experienced things and realizes how it could have been easier if....
That's why she suggests things. She's right about the 6 month lease...just because it's coming from her, don't dismiss it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
I didn't read where you stated how old you are but you sound like you're young. With that assumption, I would ask, why don't you want to work for the federal government? Your mom is right...you get in with them, as long as you don't screw up, you are set for life.
You can get in and transfer within the federal government for other jobs, you aren't just stuck to one job...but you keep them as your employer. They tend to be paid a whole hell of a lot better than the private sector.
Don't dismiss it entirely...look in to it and see what the options are. It's hard to make a fully formed decision if you don't even know all there is to know about it.
As far as moving on with your life, away from mom, if you're over 18, I don't see why it's a problem to do that. You are grown, you leave the nest and you fly away. That's how it works.
Do you know why your mom makes suggestions? Because she's lived life and seen things and experienced things and realizes how it could have been easier if....
That's why she suggests things. She's right about the 6 month lease...just because it's coming from her, don't dismiss it.
Okay my age is 23.
As far as the federal government, it's a good SUGGESTION. The point where she goes is my life and career will suck if I don't end up working for Obama. I've tried to get on with the feds, after all the failures, I'm just like it. I'll still try but I think I can have a decent career if I don't get in. Plus with some of the attitudes I've encountered with federal employees I'll pass.
"
I agree it's time you struck BACK out on your own, and maybe just determine in your own mind that no matter what, you won't go back to Mom, whatever happens, you will deal with it. Don't forget that every time a grown child moves back in with a parent, it throws their way of living/thinking into a tailspin. Of course most of the time they are happy you're there, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't make them not be able to continue doing things the way they like them.
I don't think most parents want their kids back as much as they think they do, and if they do, they have overidealized fantasies about what it would be like. They may dream they'll have their baby boy/girl back but when it happens, the child is an adult, not a baby. I don't think parents realize what a compromising situation it really is. Everybody is affected when this happens.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
it. I'll still try but I think I can have a decent career if I don't get in. Plus with some of the attitudes I've encountered with federal employees I'll pass.
