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>> BUT it is an heirloom and I want to keep it. My hubby wants to sell it.
I sense a lot of arguments in the making.
There's a line between "heirlooms" and "boat anchors." The most precious heirloom can become a boat anchor if it breaks up your marriage.
I strongly suggest picking your battles. Maybe pick several smaller pieces, photograph the rest, and let them go. Or make a bargain: you get to keep X and will let the rest go. Only you can make that decision.
We aren't the only generation to go through this: in the olden days when people moved from "back East" to "out West" they had to abandon heirloom furniture, pianos, etc.
I have let a lot of furniture go, but I kept two small maple pieces. They are small enough for me to move by myself and could be used in a house, apartment, or senior housing. It made sense for me to keep those. It did not make sense to keep the huge dining room table with ten chairs. Yes, it would've cost a pretty penny to move and cost thousands of dollars to replace it new, and yes, several generations of my family sat at them, but it would have cost too much to move, plus I live in a very small house. A round table with four chairs makes more sense.
Do I miss that table? No. I took a lot of photographs of it. It had some very cool carvings! But it's nice not having to dust it and worry over it.
Perhaps you'll have similar insights as your further explore these decisions. It did take me about two years to get to the point where I could let a ton of stuff go. It wasn't an overnight process! I had a house stuffed full of dead people's things, but in the final analysis, I had to move, couldn't take 90% of it, and had to come to terms with that.
It's also doubtful that your kids will want your "heirlooms" when the time comes. They may have different tastes and different needs.
And, now, two years later, I still wonder why I let myself fill up the house. As I've written on some other threads, it's much better being on the other side of all that and saying "no" to more antiques and collections.
Hope something here helps! Good luck with all that.
Some solid advice right here. Thank you. You definitely made some great points. I'm listing the chest on Craigslist tonight
If you can reduce the amount of stuff that you want/need to keep to a bare minimum, have you considered using one of the "You Pack&Load/We Drive" outfits ? Like ABF's Upack, PODS, or U-Haul's Ubox.
If you can reduce the amount of stuff that you want/need to keep to a bare minimum, have you considered using one of the "You Pack&Load/We Drive" outfits ? Like ABF's Upack, PODS, or U-Haul's Ubox.
We had a situation once when my husband was complaining about my mom's old upright piano (that was in bad repair and was rarely played). I complained about his HUGE stereo speakers that took up half of the living room. We made a compromise deal that we would sell them both, and we did.
When we moved out of state, we took a long look at our tired old living room set and dining room set as well as many other pieces we had. We were planning on renting an apartment for a little while to make sure we liked the state before buying a house.
The living room in our apartment was furnished with our patio furniture and I bought a small kitchen table for less than $100 to serve as the dining room table. And we used totes as end tables!
Then we bought a house, brand new furniture, and gave the silly things like the cheap dining room table to our daughter when she moved out. (She and her husband continued to use it for an additional 4 years and now they store it in a garden shed so they can bring it out when they host a BBQ)! Stick a plastic table cloth on it and it works just fine.
Our daughter was embarrassed to bring her new friends home from school because of our crappy furnishings, but after we bought the house and all new furniture, she got the picture!
One of my biggest regrets was not following everyone's advice for a cross country move.
Hired movers and took everything. Within 5 years much of it was broken, sold, replaced, or collecting dust. Could've paid for half a year of rent with the money wasted on moving everything.
Look at the things you are planning to move.
If they can be easily replaced (small appliances, most furniture, large tools, basically everything in your bathroom and kitchen, books, children's toys, clothing if you're moving to a different climate...) get rid of it. Craigslist, garage sale, donate to the poor...just get it gone.
Now family heirlooms or momentos-depends.
Do you seriously honest to goodness think your kids are going to want that old monetarily worthless chest that you say is collecting dust?
I side with your husband here, get rid of it.
My great grandmother gave me a dining set 2 decades ago because she wanted it "in the family". For years I moved it around. It was horribly outdated, heavy, huge and doesn't match anything. Finally I decided to sell which upset my mother. So when I suggested she take it-she shut up. I made almost nothing in selling it too.
Family heirlooms can really be a burden. Do your kids a favor and get rid of the chest. Take a photo of it and send it on it's way.
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
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We moved from Mi to Tennessee with no moving van...put everything in the Cargomate trailer we had to haul my husband's Harley around...but we drove trailers of stuff down about EIGHT TIMES back and forth which was so darn stressful for me..he was the master packer....the trailer was so packed, the cars front end was on an incline...he had so much crap and still does.....I BEGGED him to do it Uhaul style...NOPE....AND the only big item we had was our bed frame... and his motorcycle....we had junky furniture we gave away or sold..had a huge sale...he even old our kitchen table while I was at work so the last month I ate standing up!!!The last trip...with our dog too..our Explorer was loaded couldn't see out the back window pulling that full monstrosity of a trailer..didn't know where the dog laid down..I was a basket case....PS we even left our Ford Escape in Michigan..flew back for my sons wedding a few months after we moved here...and drove back to Tennessee with a loaded car from stuff we left in the car parked at my sisters......WHAT an ordeal....MOVING van would have been so much easier...a big one...since we didn't have much...yeah...un uh.....IT was very stressful..every time I saw a Mayflower moving van I wanted to flag it down and hire him...this was written to make ya laugh...at least I can now... It felt like I was starring in the new improved version of The Grapes of Wrath....GOOD LUCK!!!!
We moved from 4300 sq ft to 1600 sq ft and took nothing but the master bedroom. It was a local move and I sold everything on Craisglist, to our buyer, and to facebook friends. We only took our clothes and some kitchen items and the bedroom. We hired local 2 men and a truck to move the bedroom.
Its been fun getting new stuff (consignment shops, floor pieces) that work perfectly for the new space. The only thing that doesn't fit correctly is the master bedroom suite we brought along. It cost $400 to move and I sure wish we'd sold it to the buyer of our old place who wanted it! I sold several items that I held dear to my heart but just were not the right size for the new place or too bulky to deal with.
I found some incredible treasures at consignment shops, and wall art on Craigslist is so cheap and many choices. And I don't miss anything I got rid of. My adult kids wanted nothing!
This table with 6 chairs was $400 on Craigslist; we rented a $35 van and moved it ourselves. TV stand in the background came from a museum -- an incredible piece --$400. There are fun deals out there! Just take your time and make the quest for new stuff an adventure.
Last edited by WorldKlas; 04-27-2015 at 07:51 AM..
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,823,495 times
Reputation: 10348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67
This is a very common problem among my friends. Their wives insist on keeping grandma's couch, dresser, table, etc. ad. nauseum.
That prevents the move to a smaller affordable place.
Personally, I wish I could hire "Louie the Torch" to burn the place down so I could sell it to the insurance company.
Not only do wives do this MY HUSBAND does too...we just HAD to bring his grandma's old smelly bed and dresser...plus his MOMS cheap sauder bed and dresser....forgot about those items we lugged here....
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