I need some advice - Life and personal issues might force me to leave Colorado.... (jobs, quality of life)

[motoracer51]

First off, sorry if my thoughts are unorganized, as I've been stressing over this for a while.

I need some advice as I seem to be confused about what the heck I should do.

Long story short, I met my wife in FL, and we moved out here to western Colorado. Many things brought me to drag her out here, including by not limited to: weather, people, politics, density, affordability, outdoor activities, etc. I love it here, or at least I think I do.

Now the problems I'm encountering are numerous.

1. Wife misses her family. They're Italian citizens, and being very close, really miss each other.
2. I also miss my father. He's getting up there in age (76), and I'd love to spend more time with him.
3. My wife's employment options are far greater in FL than they are in CO. Roughly double pay wise.
4. My wife would like quicker access to her sick father. Eventually, he might move to FL and live with us.
5. We travel to Italy often, and it's would be nice to be closer to a main, international airport.
6. Family to watch our pets when we are gone.
7. Family to help with kids once we have them.
8. My business is down there.


Her family is in New York, and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I move back there, so Florida is our only option besides staying in Colorado. My father loves FL, and will never leave. My mother will probably retire there as well. Florida has also been good to us; we started and sold 2 successful businesses, as well as own some commercial real estate. The fact that my father is also getting up there in age (76), and the thought of spending more time with him is nice.

My wife's father has been diagnosed with colon cancer, and we're not sure what the seriousness of it is. They removed something from his colon, but are not sure if it has spread. It will be nice to hop on a direct 2.5 hr flight from FL to NY to visit.

My wife's employment opportunities in FL are better; she can make double what she makes here in Colorado. I will increase my salary greatly as I don't have to use a management company to run things, and more than likely, will be re-opening my liquor store.

See my problem is that I freak out when I'm in Florida, and just am not sure how I'm going to adjust back to an urban setting after living out west. When I lived there in my 20's it was fun, but as I got older, I seemed to really get aggravated by the daily nuances of life down there. There really isn't much to do in Florida without having to deal with crowds of people or having to drive hours to get to something or to get away from it all. I also worry about crime, and raising our future kids down there.

I'm talking about south Florida, probably Port St. Lucie south is where we'd be looking to buy a house.

So, what do you guys think? Stop being selfish, and head back there and suck it up? I really do believe that the quality of life here in Colorado is much better, it's just that everything we know is either in FL or NY.

[MeganAK]

Hmmm, that's tough. I am going to have to think about this one. About the colon cancer, though, it is usually one of the most survivable cancers of them all. They probably removed what is called and 'adenomatous' polyp. In bad cases, they can remove part of the colon, resection it, and often will follow-up with chemo. Chemo is n ot so much fun, and it takes some recovery time, but the outcomes are usually quite good.

As for the rest of your post- here is what I can tell you. I moved to Alaska 12 years ago and left all my family behind. And as much as I loved my time here, I am somewhat sorry that I chose location over family, because I can't get that time with my family back. My grandparents are in their 90's, I hardly know my brother, and I feel I have in some ways lost more than I gained. Now that I am part of a family, with a husband, and thinking about kids, I want to be nearer to family even more. When I was younger I would have thought you were crazy if you told me I would be saying all this now, but I think family is more important than we really realize until sometimes it is too late.

About the Florida thing- does it have to be either Florida or Colorado? What about being close- like the Carolinas? Maybe you could find a close compromise. Good luck, it's a tough spot for sure!!

[HotWire]

I know what you mean about Florida. Having went back home (Miami) for the 2nd time I moved, Im still amazed at just how bad traffic is. You have to plan everything an hour in advance due to traffic. Every major street and avenue has a jam and its annoying. I see why I hardly ever drove during the daytime when I lived there.

Otherwise, I feel your pain. Although Im still not interested in going back to Florida I know I do have my dilemmas about other moving to other areas than where Im at. Move to Florida because you dont want your wife missing the family too much. If you dont like it, move again. I know its back and forth but sometimes you just have to scratch the itch

[DreamWeavin]

I get the no NY part, but why does it have be Florida or nothing? I can see lots of other states as options.
I moved from the south and have family there but will Never move back there-ever! Life is too short to be miserable and live some place I hate.

[unconscious]

Originally Posted by motoracer51

First off, sorry if my thoughts are unorganized, as I've been stressing over this for a while.

I need some advice as I seem to be confused about what the heck I should do.

Long story short, I met my wife in FL, and we moved out here to western Colorado. Many things brought me to drag her out here, including by not limited to: weather, people, politics, density, affordability, outdoor activities, etc. I love it here, or at least I think I do.

Now the problems I'm encountering are numerous.

1. Wife misses her family. They're Italian citizens, and being very close, really miss each other.
2. I also miss my father. He's getting up there in age (76), and I'd love to spend more time with him.
3. My wife's employment options are far greater in FL than they are in CO. Roughly double pay wise.
4. My wife would like quicker access to her sick father. Eventually, he might move to FL and live with us.
5. We travel to Italy often, and it's would be nice to be closer to a main, international airport.
6. Family to watch our pets when we are gone.
7. Family to help with kids once we have them.
8. My business is down there.


Her family is in New York, and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I move back there, so Florida is our only option besides staying in Colorado. My father loves FL, and will never leave. My mother will probably retire there as well. Florida has also been good to us; we started and sold 2 successful businesses, as well as own some commercial real estate. The fact that my father is also getting up there in age (76), and the thought of spending more time with him is nice.

My wife's father has been diagnosed with colon cancer, and we're not sure what the seriousness of it is. They removed something from his colon, but are not sure if it has spread. It will be nice to hop on a direct 2.5 hr flight from FL to NY to visit.

My wife's employment opportunities in FL are better; she can make double what she makes here in Colorado. I will increase my salary greatly as I don't have to use a management company to run things, and more than likely, will be re-opening my liquor store.

See my problem is that I freak out when I'm in Florida, and just am not sure how I'm going to adjust back to an urban setting after living out west. When I lived there in my 20's it was fun, but as I got older, I seemed to really get aggravated by the daily nuances of life down there. There really isn't much to do in Florida without having to deal with crowds of people or having to drive hours to get to something or to get away from it all. I also worry about crime, and raising our future kids down there.

I'm talking about south Florida, probably Port St. Lucie south is where we'd be looking to buy a house.

So, what do you guys think? Stop being selfish, and head back there and suck it up? I really do believe that the quality of life here in Colorado is much better, it's just that everything we know is either in FL or NY.

u ansersd your owen question .that was great now go suck it up ...ill be back,./;

[mawipafl]

motoracer51 ... as others have asked, does it have to be Florida? If so, does it have to be south Florida? What about other parts of the state that are different lifestyle-wise than south FL? Consider northeast FL such as the Jacksonville area - it's only a 3-4 hour ride down I-95 to Port St. Lucie. I'm not certain of the job prospects in your particular fields, but it is a city, and a large one land-wise so you could find the elbow room you seek.

[Ellwood]

Your decision is a personal one, so I can't help you there, but we recently took a trip to FL. We were considering buying a home for snowbirding. We checked out the west coast, mainly Ft. Myers area and there is no way I could live there. The traffic is worse than where we lived in NJ, you are limited to things to do such as golf, cards, fish, or boat. The landscape is flat and dull. The people (mostly European and Canadians) were not friendly. With the economy as it is, jobs are very limited and the foreclosure rate is one of the highest in the nation.

[motoracer51]

Originally Posted by mawipafl

motoracer51 ... as others have asked, does it have to be Florida? If so, does it have to be south Florida? What about other parts of the state that are different lifestyle-wise than south FL? Consider northeast FL such as the Jacksonville area - it's only a 3-4 hour ride down I-95 to Port St. Lucie. I'm not certain of the job prospects in your particular fields, but it is a city, and a large one land-wise so you could find the elbow room you seek.

Thanks for the replies everyone!!

Yes, we have considered other states, but they really didin't accomplish most of the things we were looking for.

Another thing I forgot to mention is my wife is an attorney, and refuses to take another BAR exam (She already has taken and passed 4 : NY, NJ, FL and CO). So, moving to a state that she can already practice in is important.

We've considered places like NC, VA, and even NH. The winter in NH was just a bit too much for her, and even I had my doubts. NC and VA although nice, still requires a 7+ hour drive.

My dad lives in Hollywood/Ft. Lauderdale and could really use more of my help with the business. I figured Port St. Lucie/Jupiter as my furthest northern point and still be within driving distance.

Ellwood: I hear you on Ft. Myers. My mom has about 15 acres on Pine Island with a house and I don't really get that excited about it.

[MeganAK]

So what did you decide to do?