Regret moving away? Regret not moving away? (home, high school) - General U.S. - City-Data Forum

gobucks86 · 08-28-2011, 07:36 PM

I hope there aren't too many threads like this, but I just wanted to get anyone's stories on moving away and such and how you feel now that you did it or didn't do it.

Background: I graduated college last year. A lot of my friends have stayed in state (Ohio), however some have moved away, mainly for jobs. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should relocate to a new city/state to get a job or whatnot, or try to get a job in a particular area before moving. Sometimes I think how exciting it'd be to be in a new area and start over fresh. You know, making new friends and getting a career started in an area of my choice. But then I think, is it really worth it? I like Ohio, and in a way the unfamiliar scares the hell out of me, and then I think when I meet a girl and eventually have kids, do I really want to be so far away from my family and so? Do I really want to be out of state if something happens to my parents, especially as they get older?(My state of choice would be Texas if I did relocate for a few reasons).

So that's my question pretty much. Is there anyone here that did move away in their early 20's only to regret it after they had kids and such? Or is there anyone here that regrets not taking a chance and moving away because now their "stuck" and think "what if"?

Anything else to add?

Just a general question I wanted to ask to hear your personal stories/advice on this matter. I'm sure many have been in the same dilemma as me so I'm hoping this gets a few responses at least.

Thanks!

annie_himself · 08-28-2011, 07:49 PM

Move away for a short amount of time and plan to return to the area or to Ohio exclusively. I moved to Texas but I'm only one state over from home. I would like to live in other states but ultimately return to Louisiana.

gobucks86 · 10-03-2011, 03:04 PM

Bump.

Anyone have anything to say? I thought I'd get more replies with personal stories and some input.

lurtsman · 04-10-2014, 08:19 AM

My wife and I moved away from the area we grew up in. We were about 22 when we moved, and have no regrets. We moved to a ****hole of a city, and it sucked. Does that conflict with our lack of regrets? No, we learned a great deal about what we did not want from that experience. It allowed us to discover how different the areas of our country are, and we used that knowledge to begin making a list of traits our ideal city would have. Through very extensive research, we were able to find that ideal city and very happy living there right now.

2e1m5a · 04-10-2014, 11:40 AM

I don't have any regrets but I do wish I studied abroad in College (probably Barcelona). I like to think I'm making up for it by traveling so much now but there aren't as many opportunities to live and travel in Europe for an extended period of time.

#1stworldproblems

rgb123 · 04-13-2014, 03:49 AM

you can't predict the future. I moved away and back home, a couple of times. I'm now 37 and still single, and could still move other places, or back home.

It's not static. You make choices in life, and re adjust.

Go for the move. You don't have to stay.

schnarf5 · 02-24-2019, 11:16 PM

I had a brother who was very adventurous and smart when young.. after he finished college (right out of high school) in the 1970's, he moved to middle East to teach English abroad. I on the other hand had a very traumatic teenaged years and fell into drugs and alcohol after for a few years. I learned in my late 20's I had social anxiety and I used to have terrible fear just leaving the city my parents were in. Therefore, I never moved until now in my late 50's. I do regret not having traveled more but I too had so much anxiety I just couldn't do it. I only moved now because a friend of mine moved across the country so I followed her and it does help to have someone you know in a strange place. But I realized a few years ago when my delusional son moved to another state for a short time, in a very tiny town, that the people were so friendly there (I had stereotypes in my head they would be very nasty to strangers).. and I was ready to move there but then it got cold and my son decided to move back south to where I was living. Him moving there and finding an affordable place in one day, and us being offered jobs everywhere around there (this was during the recession) and people being so friendly made me realize it would have been easy to move. I think I definitely prefer small towns. My friend on the other hand, grew up in a small town and hates them.. so now I'm back in a big city.. but I'm thinking of moving because trying to get mental health services for a person with schizophrenia in this western big city is terrible... the laws in this conservative state do not help delusional people who don't want help. that's why there are a lot of homeless people here too... Republican states don't like to spend money to help serious mentally ill people.

march2 · 02-25-2019, 05:30 AM

It's a very personal choice, since everyone has their own unique experiences, desires, work requirements, etc. I lived in Orlando and Columbus for one year spans due to work/research I was doing at the time, but was able to keep my home in the Charlotte area knowing we were going to be coming back. My wife and I just recently moved back to Charlotte from the Boston/Cape Cod area after living there temporarily for a year and a half helping care for my mother-in-law who is battling Parkinson's Disease and Dementia. Again, we kept and maintained our home in Charlotte knowing we would be returning. We enjoyed each city we lived to varying degrees, but knew we wanted to come back to Charlotte for good. It's home, all 4 of our young adult children (23-28) and 2 little granddaughters are here and have chosen to stay here for good, my extended family is here, and Charlotte and the Carolinas as a whole is a place we love living. We've traveled to most areas of the country and have learned a lot. But I don't think it's necessary to do an all-out move to an area in order to learn, "find yourself", etc. Moving is an expensive way to learn others, other areas, and learn to be content. I just see a lot of "the grass is greener" syndrome here on C-D and in my studies over the years. Looking for that "perfect' area. I've learned family ties and seeing the beauty and value of where we DO live is extremely important, more so than most younger people realize. Again, it's not to say a move would be wrong. Everyone's situation is different. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and have reasonable expectations. Chasing that carrot in front of ones nose can be unnecessarily expensive, tiring, and time consuming. I know this is an old thread, but found it interesting.

greatblueheron · 02-25-2019, 05:35 AM

There's just no way to know.....so if you want a new experience, try the move.

You can do as I did, move back after a no. of years. Moved to a coastal city in another state after divorce. Stayed 3 years but then moved back to previous state.

It wasn't a mistake, had great experiences, but just chose to move back. You don't have to stay anywhere you don't like...!

elchevere · 02-25-2019, 05:55 AM

Moved cross country to the West Coast for my first job and spent 33.5 years there. Originally from NY, went to college in NY, did 2 years grad school in Atlanta before starting my career. Moved back East (Miami) little more than 2 years ago. SF/Marin was my first and shortest stint, yet was the only area (OC and San Diego the others) I felt sad to leave.

Had an itch and scratched it (wanted to live in CA), but am back East now where I belong (people, faster pace of life, more grounded). Certain things I enjoyed out West that I would not have experienced back East, certain things I missed out on and missed had I stayed on the East Coast my entire life. Life is like travel—the more you do the more life experiences you encounter. You will learn new things and it will make you appreciate/reinforce what you like and what you don’t like.