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I'm doing a cross-country car trip across entire mainland United States, from the very SW corner to the very SE corner, from border to border. Right now I'm traveling back to the West.
What really surprised me is quite a few rude and mean people I've seen in what I expected to be nice and even quaint locations, also the intensity and unreasonableness of the rudeness. The rate at which I met such people when traveling was astounding. I had extensively traveled Western states earlier and it takes a lot of effort and time to run into a real jerk (as soon as big cities are avoided), and even then it'd not be as much rudeness encountered.
I did not expect it... I thought if I avoid big cities in the East, the culture would be actually way nicer and more polite than in the West. Not true!
I was even wondering if this had something to do with bigotry, since I have strong foreign accent having moved to the States over 20 years ago (from Europe, and I'm white). Nope...I actually caught one of these mean people talking to their own, I guess, family, on the phone and they were very mean and nasty loudly calling them derogatory words all the time, apparently not even caring that customers may overhear that.
I've seen really scary road rage a couple of times, over literally nothing/no big deal, a regular road situation that is normally handled with the wave and a smile... Had seen strange and inexplicable meanness to myself as a customer multiple times (stores, hotels), I even had to complain once because it was just way, way out there. Or, say, being in a car service business and hearing F word causally fly around all over in employee conversation, right in front of customers. And some other, crazy, way out of there stuff, too. And also minor stuff, like you smile at someone such as at a hotel owner and they just silently stare at you with a death stare.
Nope, it's not "me": it's them. I'm just not having these kinds of experiences traveling all over the West -and over many years.
At the same time, I've seen a lot of nice and sweet people - which tended to be of older generations. I noticed that mean people tended to be younger, mostly under 40 (younger than me, and what a shame to be mean to someone with grey hair). Overall, I found there're a lot of very nice people in the East...but some meanest, vilest jerks too - the latter seem to increase as one approaches the coast (Northeast and Mid-Atlantic) and enters the Eastern Time Zone.
What's causing this? - is it overcrowding?? Lack of nature recreation opportunities? Meth and opioid epidemic? Economy is supposedly booming. Go figure!
I've always found people in the West to be more friendlier than in the East, regardless of whether they are in a small town or a big city.
We have plenty of space and nature/rec opportunities, but there's just a different mindset in the East than the West.
A lot of people in small towns don't like outsiders and aren't welcoming - especially if their town isn't known for being a tourist town.
Customer service is awful just about anywhere you go these days. Road rage over really dumb stuff really isn't that weird either. Waving and smiling simply doesn't happen that much anymore.
I find it weird that I live in a town where "being nice" is really "a thing". It's not that other people are super rude elsewhere or in the other suburbs nearby, but in most other places in the area - a lot of people just don't make an effort a lot of the time to be nice - like we all belong to the same community. It's really the view that you are a consumer and you are coming into consume products and then you'll be leaving again. The town I live in still sees itself as a small town and that the people we meet and encounter are our neighbors, not people coming in to go the local mall or big box stores and then leave again.
A lot of young people simply aren't taught to respect their elders - or anyone - for that matter. That's really the heart of a lot of problems these days - though nobody wants to actually call it out. A lot of us try to teach our kids not to be jerks to other people, but the culture is really self-centered.
A lot of young people simply aren't taught to respect their elders - or anyone - for that matter. That's really the heart of a lot of problems these days - though nobody wants to actually call it out. A lot of us try to teach our kids not to be jerks to other people, but the culture is really self-centered.
There are older people alive today who shot water cannons at black people who wanted rights. But yes, these pesky young people don't know respect.
I've always found people in the West to be more friendlier than in the East, regardless of whether they are in a small town or a big city.
I have to agree with that now...seems like there's also a softness to the communication style in the West and more laid back mentality. By the way, in the West, everybody was asking me "Where are you from?" after hearing my accent, but in the East I haven't heard this question even once.
The last time I was asked that was in Central Time Zone (in Michigan and Western Kentucky).
The 4-month trip route is roughly (all rural): CA->NV->ID->WY->MN->MI->IA->MS->AR->KY->IN->PA->VT->ME->NH->NY->VA->WV-> ? TBD -> NM
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopygirlmi
We have plenty of space and nature/rec opportunities, but there's just a different mindset in the East than the West.
A lot less of the public land areas in the East than in the West though, which has huge National Forests pretty much in every state, with free and anytime access and campgrounds. Even National Forests that exist in the East - I found them not to have easy access as area along almost ever paved road was covered with private residences and hard to tell where is public versus private forest - one must seek certain access points to get into the woods, seems like.
The bugs in the East are pretty intense (to put it mildly) and I think this also limits nature recreation, especially ticks (the West is mostly bug-free compared to that).
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopygirlmi
A lot of people in small towns don't like outsiders and aren't welcoming - especially if their town isn't known for being a tourist town.
Apparently, being a tourist town doesn't always help, as it brings fatigue of outsiders/tourists (that comes with crowding) and viewing them as temporary consumers rather than guests.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopygirlmi
Road rage over really dumb stuff really isn't that weird either.
The thing is it's weird for me... in smaller towns at least in the West road rage isn't what's seen...may be someone would honk, that's it, but not the rage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopygirlmi
I find it weird that I live in a town where "being nice" is really "a thing". It's not that other people are super rude elsewhere or in the other suburbs nearby, but in most other places in the area - a lot of people just don't make an effort a lot of the time to be nice - like we all belong to the same community. It's really the view that you are a consumer and you are coming into consume products and then you'll be leaving again. The town I live in still sees itself as a small town and that the people we meet and encounter are our neighbors, not people coming in to go the local mall or big box stores and then leave again.
I'm not sure which region your small town is in.
Being nice to strangers I guess is a state, something that doesn't even require effort.
I've seen super-sweet communities in Southern Missouri, for example and in the hills of Eastern Kentucky, where people were just sugar-sweet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopygirlmi
A lot of us try to teach our kids not to be jerks to other people, but the culture is really self-centered.
I'm not religious myself, but I suspect this might have something to do with less people being religious now than before...
A lot of young people simply aren't taught to respect their elders - or anyone - for that matter. That's really the heart of a lot of problems these days - though nobody wants to actually call it out. A lot of us try to teach our kids not to be jerks to other people, but the culture is really self-centered.
Bingo!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's very difficult to not be self centered when you spend the majority of your life looking at a little 6x3 inch phone screen.
But back to the issue at hand. I grew up on Northern Virginia. Easterners can be gruff at first. But once you get over that, they can turn out to be amazing and loyal friends. Just takes a bit longer to crack the ice with them.
I now live in Seattle and it's a different ball game out here where everybody is nice on the surface.
I have a good joke that relates to this thread. When meeting somebody from the East coast, initially most are assh*les but once you get to know them they are awesome. When meeting somebody from the West coast, initially most are really nice but once you get to know them they are assh*oles. Haha. Some truth to that.
I'm sorry you had to experience such impolite people. Most of the states you traveled through are known for their rude inhabitants. Northeasterners are notorious for their nasty behavior. Unfortunately, people just don't have nice manners these days. I try to be pleasant with everyone but if someone is a jerk to me, I tend to get a bit snippy back. And I road rage too, only I keep it to myself and try not to use vulgar words even when ranting to myself lol.
I'm doing a cross-country car trip across entire mainland United States, from the very SW corner to the very SE corner, from border to border. Right now I'm traveling back to the West. What really surprised me is quite a few rude and mean people I've seen in what I expected to be nice and even quaint locations, also the intensity and unreasonableness of the rudeness. The rate at which I met such people when traveling was astounding. I had extensively traveled Western states earlier and it takes a lot of effort and time to run into a real jerk (as soon as big cities are avoided), and even then it'd not be as much rudeness encountered.I did not expect it... I thought if I avoid big cities in the East, the culture would be actually way nicer and more polite than in the West. Not true!I was even wondering if this had something to do with bigotry, since I have strong foreign accent having moved to the States over 20 years ago (from Europe, and I'm white). Nope...I actually caught one of these mean people talking to their own, I guess, family, on the phone and they were very mean and nasty loudly calling them derogatory words all the time, apparently not even caring that customers may overhear that. I've seen really scary road rage a couple of times, over literally nothing/no big deal, a regular road situation that is normally handled with the wave and a smile... Had seen strange and inexplicable meanness to myself as a customer multiple times (stores, hotels), I even had to complain once because it was just way, way out there. Or, say, being in a car service business and hearing F word causally fly around all over in employee conversation, right in front of customers. And some other, crazy, way out of there stuff, too. And also minor stuff, like you smile at someone such as at a hotel owner and they just silently stare at you with a death stare.Nope, it's not "me": it's them. I'm just not having these kinds of experiences traveling all over the West -and over many years.At the same time, I've seen a lot of nice and sweet people - which tended to be of older generations. I noticed that mean people tended to be younger, mostly under 40 (younger than me, and what a shame to be mean to someone with grey hair). Overall, I found there're a lot of very nice people in the East...but some meanest, vilest jerks too - the latter seem to increase as one approaches the coast (Northeast and Mid-Atlantic) and enters the Eastern Time Zone.
What's causing this? - is it overcrowding?? Lack of nature recreation opportunities? Meth and opioid epidemic? Economy is supposedly booming. Go figure!
I'd say what is wrong with this is stereotyping, OP subjective bias, and illogical and irrational generalization. The opioid epidemic and ODs are certainly in many areas all across the country--a lot of rural areas and the midwest, as well as the west. You have just stereotyped the entire country based on your own biased and subjective experiences? Maybe it is not everyone you've labeled. Maybe it is you.
I have also traveled all over the country as well as having lived in various states. My experiences do not mirror yours. I found many ignorant people spread out across the country, but concentrated in certain areas, though not as much in the NE. I found many bigoted people, but more in certain parts of the country. People are basically as friendly as you are to them. I really could not stand certain parts of the country where people appear to have no sense of humor or knowledge of the outside world. I was constantly amazed, though, at how little people in the more unpopulated West, Midwest and South knew about those outside of their geographical areas or the world in general for that matter.
You are causing this, because it is not an objective fact--it is your subjective value judgments.
Time zones do not determine personality.
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