Deciding where to move in the United States? (fit in, crime)
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I was hoping that some people could give me some incite here about why you decided to move where you did especially if it was for a reason other than career.
I am 24 going on 25 and currently live in southeast Massachusetts. I've never been a big fan of Boston but enjoy the Cape area well enough. I've recently been thinking that maybe I don't want to just live here just because it's where I was born, which is what most peoples' attitudes from here is. Basically, I really dislike the weather here, and, except for west Mass, the house prices are outrageous here, even in the economic climate, 300k is the minimum most places for any type of house. On the positives for sticking around, I am pretty close to my family but I'm not sure how much our relationship would suffer if I moved. I just think I like the idea of being close. I am worried that if I moved away I would spend every vacation visiting home and not have as much opportunity to travel as I'd like to do that a lot. Career is not a factor for me.
So if anyone could share their experiences? How you decided to move or not to move and if you did move where you moved to? Are you glad you made the decision?
I was hoping that some people could give me some incite here about why you decided to move where you did especially if it was for a reason other than career.
I am 24 going on 25 and currently live in southeast Massachusetts. I've never been a big fan of Boston but enjoy the Cape area well enough. I've recently been thinking that maybe I don't want to just live here just because it's where I was born, which is what most peoples' attitudes from here is. Basically, I really dislike the weather here, and, except for west Mass, the house prices are outrageous here, even in the economic climate, 300k is the minimum most places for any type of house. On the positives for sticking around, I am pretty close to my family but I'm not sure how much our relationship would suffer if I moved. I just think I like the idea of being close. I am worried that if I moved away I would spend every vacation visiting home and not have as much opportunity to travel as I'd like to do that a lot. Career is not a factor for me.
So if anyone could share their experiences? How you decided to move or not to move and if you did move where you moved to? Are you glad you made the decision?
Move.
You're torn only because people in your area are expected to stay there. If your family is that close, a move within a reasonable distance from there would not impact that relationship. I see that often in this area (Philadelphia) where people don't move because of family. They very often wind up consumed with remorse and bitterness for having been influenced that way. Not to sound selfish, but you really do have to live for yourself...no one else will.
Move someplace less expensive that would still be easy to travel home from and for family to get to you. Check out mid-sized cities with a younger population, lower cost of living and decent opportunity for employment. Places like Columbus, Ohio or Nashville, Tennessee.
You are at a perfect age to move and if you have no job restictrictions, even better. Can't tell you where to move but can help you decide how to research.
1. What do you like to do? Do research to find locations where you can do those things easily and there is the variety and quality you are accustomed to having with those activities. For example, if you like to read you probably want to make sure there is a good library and well stocked bookstores in town that carry the kind of books you like to read. If you like to do arts and crafts, you want to be sure there is a decent arts and crafts store nearby. If you like to run or walk, you want to check out the trails/greenways/blueways. If you like to fish, make sure there are enough places to fish and the kind of fish is the kind you like to catch. If you like to go to plays or concerts, check out the location of the nearest playhouse and concert hall and their schedule of performances/plays.
2. Compare where you live now to places you are considering. Do a City Compare (google it) and compare where you live now to places you are considering on things like cost of living, air/water quality, snowfall/rainfall/number of sunny days per year, religion, voting, etc.. You know what it feels like where you live now so if the scores for the places you are considering are much lower/higher than what you are used to where you live now, ask yourself if that's a good or bad thing as it relates to you.
3. When you've narrowed down your choices, go to an online yellow pages and find out what's in the town/city. Examples: Restaurants, stores, movie theaters.
4. If the place you are considering has an online newspaper, read it daily. Do the people living there sound like/look like your kind of people? You know, if you are a hunter, are there all of these anti-gun stories? If you like to dress up, wear a lot of make up and jewelry and drink wine, are most of the photos of people in jeans, tee shirts, no make-up and who drink beer? Look at the schedule of upcoming events and meeting announcements for clubs and organizations. Do they sound like the things you like to do? What kind of crime is in the town and where in the town is it concentrated? What's being discussed in town planning meetings? You know, you may find out that 6 months after you move in, they plan to widen the road in front of your house or put a hotel or game arcade next door.
5. Visit before you move and don't visit like a tourist. Visit like a potential resident. Check out the supermarkets and stores. Do they have the things you like? If you like to swim, check out the beaches and pools. If you like to bowl in a league, go inside the bowling alley. If you like to go to plays, attend one while you are there. If you are religious, attend a service. If you golf, play a game. Talk to people. If it's a tourist spot, visit in season and out of season. A place that's jumping in the summer could be dead in the winter. How is the snow/ice removal? Etc.
You're torn only because people in your area are expected to stay there. If your family is that close, a move within a reasonable distance from there would not impact that relationship. I see that often in this area (Philadelphia) where people don't move because of family. They very often wind up consumed with remorse and bitterness for having been influenced that way. Not to sound selfish, but you really do have to live for yourself...no one else will.
Move someplace less expensive that would still be easy to travel home from and for family to get to you. Check out mid-sized cities with a younger population, lower cost of living and decent opportunity for employment. Places like Columbus, Ohio or Nashville, Tennessee.
Good luck!
...as there's no point in sticking around for someone else's benefit--the resentment will only increase, on BOTH sides...
There's no reason why you shouldn't consider relocating, especially if you're thinking of staying within the same region of the country.
Hi Carrie, I'm just going to throw this out here you may or may not have considered it....St. Louis. Its a real gem and a great steal. Given your age there are some areas you'd probably fit into and enjoy. If you'd like to know more I'd be happy to gush over it.
I left "home" (where I grew up, Southern California) when I was 20. I followed my mom up to a small town in BFE (the CA High Desert), and ended up living there with and near her for two years. She passed away, and I ended up staying in that town another year, with my girlfriend and her kids from a previous marriage.
We all moved to Colorado over two years ago, to pursue better career and lifestyle opportunities. And moved to Washington 5 months ago, for work. And moved back to Colorado last month, for work. I'm 25 now, BTW.
I don't know who or where I'd be if I hadn't initially moved to CO. I think I'd still be rotting away in my hometown (or that small town) not making anything of myself. It's good to get out of your comfort zone, it will help you grow as a person, even if you think you are already relatively grown.
All of my moves have helped me understand just what it is I want out of life, and what kind of place I want to live in and the kind of lifestyle I want to have. All four moves have added something to my life, some more than others.
I hope to only make one more move in my life, back to somewhere I've already been, it's just a matter of when. "Home" doesn't have to be where the family is, it is where the heart is, you just need to find out where that is.
If you are considering moving to Columbus, Ohio, I can offer you some resources to help you get connected. First, check out liveworkplayColumbus.com. It provides information and links to resources to help people get to know Columbus, from neighborhoods to arts & culture to information about the economy/industries/employers.
Speaking of employers, check out OhioMeansJobs.com, a free resource that is powered by Monster.com, to post your resume and find employers who are hiring. (The Columbus zipcode is 43215.)
We have a very vibrant community of "young professionals" and there are more than 60 young professional organizations and non-profits looking for YPs for volunteer and leadership positions. You can find a list on liveworkplayColumbus.comunder Live/Connections, or you can go to the Columbus Chamber's website, Columbus.org, and click on "Attract & Retain Talent," then "Connect Your Company's Young Professionals."
Also at Columbus.org, there's a "subscribe" button. You can input your e-mail address to get on a distribution list for our weekly e-mail "Events & Activities for Young Professionals." This will help you get an idea of the types of events, volunteer opportunities, networking events, etc. that are abound in the Columbus community.
There are many, many people who live in Columbus who are just like you: they are from someplace else. And they love living here! Columbus is a community of great diversity so, no matter your background, you will likely find your place here. Welcome home!
I left home the day after I graduated from high school and never lived at home again. I've lived NEAR my home for a few years off and on, but never again in the same town as my family. (Nothing terrible with the family, we love each other and have a great relationship.)
I eventually married a girl from the other side of the nation than I was from. She'd never lived any where else, not even in another house the entire time she was growing up. Large, close family. We knew when we got married that at least one, if not both of us would end up living away from home. (You know what they say about home...it's the place where they have to take you if you have no where else to go!)
Now, nearly 30 years later, we're still married, have lived both away from either of our families and near both of them. When we were young and in love (as opposed to old and in love...) we really underestimated how hard it is over the years to be away from the family you love. If you have a close family, it can be harder than you think. We've missed some real milestones in our families' lives and of course, both of us, to some extent have had some self-imposed guilt feelings over some of those things. But, one of the best things we did was this...the first 3 years of our marriage, we lived in a place where neither of us had any family. We only had each other to rely upon, to depend upon and were truly able to grow to know each other better, despite a three year engagement!
I do wish we had settled in one spot sooner. But, everything's a trade-off. We've seen and done some incredible things that we wouldn't have if either of us had stayed home. We moved for some selfish reasons...we wanted to, thought the area was neat, etc. We moved for career reasons (not often actually, usually moved because we wanted to). Finally, our last two moves were for family reasons.
All those moves and places we lived away from family were fun.
But, there's a price.
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Very good advice here..
