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my daughter is 30 yrs old.she is just such a trial.I went thru drugs with her as a teen.Years of it.many many times of being pregnant still even to this day.the abortions,the miscarriages and out of all 14 times...she has two boys.they are 11 and 8 years old.precious boys.wild and naughty.funny and nice as boys are.well she is single now after a bad marriage of ten years to an illegal alien.so now she is single.With in the marriage.we got them there first apt.and decorated it.then we had to pay back damages to the apt for a year cause of damage.then we got her a little trailer for 4000$ cause she was broke up with her hubby.then here he comes and she gets preggers another couple of times.then she workd for 5 years at this place where there is gambling so we went from drugs to gambling.she would leave me to babysit sometimes 13 hour days with her two babies.i love those boy s so.me and hubby have been the one consistent thing in there lives.well then she moved into our home.it got wrecked too.now she is in a duplex...of which we had to pay cause she came to live with us after her fiance dumped her and the kids off here and spending one nite ended up being 7 months.well.it always feels like a contination of teenhood horrors with her.last year i went with her to two abortions.what could i do?i hate abortions but i helped her thru.i am sick of her.now her boys come to my house on sunday nite and i get them to bed and to school and they come home to me and grandpa.i take them back home on wed.afternoon. then i have them friday while she works but she does not come and get them...she goes all nite toher house with her new boyfriend.her and the boys were here last nite.she had them all of one day each of the last 3 weeks.one day.they are like little hobo boys.makes me sad for them.she cannot handle them .so now here we are.i just wrote her and told her the little boys are like little hobos.so now she will hate me again.so what do u do??
me and hubby gave her our last monies for our building our place at our woods...to get her a place to get her out of here cause i was ready to chase her down the road with a stick.hee hee.thanks raedean
Do you have other children that could help you out here, either with advice, money, or taking things into their own hands with their sister? Personally, you should have initiated "tough love" a loooooooooooong time ago. Time to give it to her. You will no longer put up with her behavior, she is a grown woman in charge of her life. You will help with the boys (if you choose to do so), or write her off and petition for legal custody of the boys. If this means getting a restraining order against her, so be it. You did not raise her like this, you don't have to put up with this crap from an adult woman in this stage of your life. But you need to "cop a 'tude" to actually do this, and it's about time you did. You have my sympathy for your situation.
It sounds as though the OP has enabled her daughter's actions all her life. Now suddenly she expects something to improve? Sad, really. Child protective services should be contacted about those two boys if any of this is actually true.
whats op?? well Michigan transplant asked if there were any siblings.
there is an older brother who is schizophrenic.
then the middle son is a commercial fisherman and we never really see him ...other than calls.of course it is true.who could make up all of this?in actuallity...we pretty much have been there for the boys always.just wondering if maybe something is wrong with our daughter like maybe the older boy.she works.just alot nervous.hmm.
OP = Originating Poster, or Originating Post (depending on the context). You are the OP, and your first post is the OP, in other words.
You say you've pretty much been there for the boys always.
You DON'T say you've pretty much been there for your daughter.
You have an old brother with serious mental disorder. You have a youngest daughter who grew up with a schizophrenic older brother, and this same girl was into drugs when she was a teenager, somehow missed the biology class where she would have learned that women can get pregnant when they have sex, continued not noticing this little detail of biology 14 times in a row, even after having to undergo an abortion 12 of those 14 times...
What exactly were mom and dad doing all this time, to steer their daughter in the right direction when she was 11, 12, 13 years old? And why are you wondering now, 30 years after your daughter is born, at LEAST 12 years after she has been exibiting this behavior (since you say she was into drugs in her teens but teens span a 10-year period)...why now, all of a sudden, are you wondering if maybe something is wrong with your daughter?
How is it that you don't KNOW that something is wrong with your daughter? And how is it that you didn't KNOW this 12 years ago?
I'm sorry to say, but your daughter is a total loser. She isn't going to magically change into some sort of wonderful and responsbile person. If she is 30 years old and this messed up, there is no cure for whatever ailment she has. Honestly, it just sounds like she is irresponsible and selfish. I don't think there is some sort of mental "disease" that can be blamed. Maybe the disease of stupidity, but that is all.
You should call child protective services for the sake of the two boys, and then be done with your daughter. Let her hit rock bottom, and then maybe she will straighten out. I doubt it though. You can't keep giving her money (it doesn't sound like you can afford to anyway). Let her find her own way in life. After 30 years you have done more than enough for her.
ok..we dont need blame.we hurt ourselves enough with blame.i am getting this...it is just my life.thank u all so much.hugs rae
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