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Thought this was interesting. I posted a while back about this driving me nuts about my kids grandparents on both sides. People here jumped on me that I was being ridiculous. Well, apparently science is backing me up.
That's interesting. My grandmother was always feeding me but she also took me swimming and to parks. I also had chores to do at her house when I stayed. I vacuumed and did the dusting.
I have the opposite problem with one set of the grandparents. They under feed my kids and they are always so hungry when coming back from being out with them.
I didn't read the article yet, but I'm not surprised. Fortunately,my kids got the skinny genes and are active with sports. My MIL feeds them junk and lets them eat when and what ever they want when they visit. It bothers me, but I have come to accept it as a "vacation" thing. It would be different if it happened on a regular basis.
I haven't read the article either. Everyone has their own 'religion' over food. Some push organic. Some are into gluten free. No sweets. Meatless and various degrees of vegetarian.
When my parents were around my kids I didn't worry about it. The visits were short and infrequent. Whatever my kids ate then didn't impact their eating habits. And in my in-laws case, they were on a carb diet with meat and potatoes as standard fare. A standard meal for them was met, corn, rolls, potatoes, and all carbs. It's amazing how far the eating industry has come. Even meal portions have changed and the pyramid of food has shifted.
I don't let it worry me. If it's a big issue, have a talk with the kids and have the kids teach the grandparents how they'd prefer to eat. Maybe being at grandmother's and eating makes them sick. Let them feel free to discuss this and get results. Or pack snacks they can take and let them know you prefer they eat these instead of what they're offered.
Lots of medical conditions require a set diet. Most everyone knows this and change does happen. A diabetic diet shouldn't be messed with. As a grandparent if my kids or their spouses asked me to modify a diet, then I will. The issue did come up with shellfish and how they don't eat shellfish in their family. That's okay. I put up what we had and we ate something else. If they don't tell me, I won't know. I'd rather be told then left guessing.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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It's the job of the grandparents to spoil the grandkids. Unless they are with them every day, it's not going to be a significant problem. In most cases I know of, like ours, it's a few hours or overnight 1-2 times a month. Being very active, part of spoiling them is playing soccer or other sports outside (and being a bit sore the next day).
How is feeding them crap food for 2 days straight or mixing a whole bunch of foods which could lead to them getting sick, which has happened in my kids case too, spoiling vs being dumb? It's like my MIL who will let my 3 year old eat a whole box of cookies if she wanted bc "Oh, well she asked." I didn't know a 3 year old knew better then an adult. My husband at 3 months looked like he was about 9 months old bc he was so overweight. The doctor even told her "An overweight baby is not a healthy baby." And this was all "her mother's fault" bc she insisted MIL feed the baby anytime he let out a peep. Who doesn't have enough maternal instinct to know your own kids hungry cry vs I'm just crying because. Who needs to be told that they are overfeeding their kid.
It's not a problem when the grandparents are far away and see their grandchildren only for a few days every year. It is a problem for many of us when the grandparents live close by and act as babysitters. I struggled with this. My in-laws live only a few miles away and wanted to see the kids every week. Grandma stuffed them full of cr*p every time, to the point that as soon as my kids got to their house, they headed for the pantry to grab chips and cookies. It wasn't so easy to just blow it off with "Oh well, it's their JOB to spoil the grandkids."
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,260,275 times
Reputation: 57826
Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot
It's not a problem when the grandparents are far away and see their grandchildren only for a few days every year. It is a problem for many of us when the grandparents live close by and act as babysitters. I struggled with this. My in-laws live only a few miles away and wanted to see the kids every week. Grandma stuffed them full of cr*p every time, to the point that as soon as my kids got to their house, they headed for the pantry to grab chips and cookies. It wasn't so easy to just blow it off with "Oh well, it's their JOB to spoil the grandkids."
True, it has to be within reason. Ours would not grab anything without asking and getting permission, and my definition of spoiling is a cookie after lunch or small bowl of ice cream for dessert. We have never given them chips.
If the grandparents can't get on board with the parents requests for not feeding certain things, they shouldn't get so much time with them. Mom and dad should consider if free daycare is worth it.
My daughter got onto me for allowing my grandkids to have more than one kind of snack after school and the snack was either yogurt or an apple. I did as she asked because I want to have access to them. It's a respect issue.
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