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There was a time when a woman having a child out of wedlock was a shameful thing. Now a woman having a child or multiple children out of wedlock is considered a hero. Why is it heroic? Children born out of wedlock are still more likely to have a disadvantaged life compared to a child raised by married parents so why do we as a society now put single mother's on a pedestal? Single mothers by in large have made a poor life choice(s) and their children will suffer to some extent because of it.
I think they're heroes if they can cope while the Daddy is MIA. If the father is actively involved in supporting and raising the kids, great. If not, the mother really is a hero. She has to pull the weight for the absent, irresponsible parent.
There are two parts to the problem. One is perhaps the glamorization of single parenting. It's a tough road to go down, but in movies and TV shows, it's always wealthy professional women having kids on their own, and they have a lot of support and nannies to help and so on.... not realistic at all for most people. I read somewhere that teen pregnancy rates dropped when the reality TV series "16 and pregnant" was airing. It took off the rose coloured glasses for a lot of young girls, I bet.
The other side of this equation is perhaps the strange lack of stigma that deadbeat fathers face. There are a small number of deadbeat mothers out there too, but let's face it, most of the deadbeat parents are men. They need to step up. Society needs to encourage them to stop acting irresponsibly by walking out on their kids.
There was a time when a woman having a child out of wedlock was a shameful thing. Now a woman having a child or multiple children out of wedlock is considered a hero. Why is it heroic? Children born out of wedlock are still more likely to have a disadvantaged life compared to a child raised by married parents so why do we as a society now put single mother's on a pedestal? Single mothers by in large have made a poor life choice(s) and their children will suffer to some extent because of it.
Why is it only women are mentioned? Why are these women raising children alone? That should be the question instead of discussing whether women should be shamed or are heroes. It takes 2 to create a life. Where is the other parent in this?
I think they're heroes if they can cope while the Daddy is MIA. If the father is actively involved in supporting and raising the kids, great. If not, the mother really is a hero. She has to pull the weight for the absent, irresponsible parent.
There are two parts to the problem. One is perhaps the glamorization of single parenting. It's a tough road to go down, but in movies and TV shows, it's always wealthy professional women having kids on their own, and they have a lot of support and nannies to help and so on.... not realistic at all for most people. I read somewhere that teen pregnancy rates dropped when the reality TV series "16 and pregnant" was airing. It took off the rose coloured glasses for a lot of young girls, I bet.
The other side of this equation is perhaps the strange lack of stigma that deadbeat fathers face. There are a small number of deadbeat mothers out there too, but let's face it, most of the deadbeat parents are men. They need to step up. Society needs to encourage them to stop acting irresponsibly by walking out on their kids.
Just throwing this out there, but wouldn't she be even more of a hero if she found a father for her kids instead of going it alone? Even more kudos to her if she could get douche bag daddy to man up instead of just letting him slide, and double kudos for not getting knocked up by a douche bag in the first place...
Just throwing this out there, but wouldn't she be even more of a hero if she found a father for her kids instead of going it alone? Even more kudos to her if she could get douche bag daddy to man up instead of just letting him slide, and double kudos for not getting knocked up by a douche bag in the first place...
I don't think many of the single mothers out there were looking for a "sperm donor" meathead who'd take off the minute the ink was dry on the birth certificate... a small minority might, but they tend to be the financially well-off, professional single mothers, who are indeed a small minority.
Most single mothers do their best. It's the kids that are abandoned... not the single mothers, really. Why do the fathers abandon their kids?
The mothers don't "let him slide"... it's the system that doesn't enforce child support effectively enough, although that's changing. The system is beginning to catch up to the deadbeats. The mothers still can't force the Dads to help raise the kids and be involved as parents, however.
I know one woman with three kids, the father uses every excuse he can come up with to weasel out of his time with them. Skips entire weekends to do his own thing. Picks them up late, drops them off early. Another woman I used to know had an ex who skipped out on child support and used all sorts of ridiculous excuses... like the money fell out of a hole in his pocket. Like, really?
And what stigma is there? Women figure it won't happen to them. My man is a winner, he's a stand up guy, he'll be there for us... whoops, not so much. Where'd he go?
Why is it only women are mentioned? Why are these women raising children alone? That should be the question instead of discussing whether women should be shamed or are heroes. It takes 2 to create a life. Where is the other parent in this?
Yes it takes two to tango but that doesn't remove the woman's choice to take precautions so as to not have a child out of wedlock. While the man also has a responsibility to take reproductive precautions being that the woman is the one who must bear the child and a majority of the time they are the single parents that gives them more of an incentive to take control over the choice to use protection and not get pregnant. But again deciding not to use protection and have a child out of wedlock doesn't make someone a hero it usually just makes the an irresponsible person.
Yes it takes two to tango but that doesn't remove the woman's choice to take precautions so as to not have a child out of wedlock. While the man also has a responsibility to take reproductive precautions being that the woman is the one who must bear the child and a majority of the time they are the single parents that gives them more of an incentive to take control over the choice to use protection and not get pregnant. But again deciding not to use protection and have a child out of wedlock doesn't make someone a hero it usually just makes the an irresponsible person.
This again puts the entire burden of parenting on the mother, by default: "a majority of the time they are the single parents". It'd be nice if fewer men shrugged off their own responsibilities towards their children. You can't put toothpaste back into the tube.
This again puts the entire burden of parenting on the mother, by default: "a majority of the time they are the single parents". It'd be nice if fewer men shrugged off their own responsibilities towards their children. You can't put toothpaste back into the tube.
Well if a woman doesn't get pregnant out of wedlock she doesn't have to worry about a man shrugging of his responsibilities. If there is no toothpaste out of the tube you don't have to put in back into the tube.
There was a time when a woman having a child out of wedlock was a shameful thing. Now a woman having a child or multiple children out of wedlock is considered a hero. Why is it heroic? Children born out of wedlock are still more likely to have a disadvantaged life compared to a child raised by married parents so why do we as a society now put single mother's on a pedestal? Single mothers by in large have made a poor life choice(s) and their children will suffer to some extent because of it.
Who's putting them on a pedestal? What are you talking about? Where are you getting this?
It's true. Single moms are put on a pedestal. Typical lib distortion. Villainize the man while making the single mom out to be a martyr and inspiration. Sure, the man has just as much responsibility and blame for failing to raise the child in a loving and nurturing home. A man being a crappy dad, however, doesn't excuse a woman's horrible judgement in having unprotected sex and getting knocked up outside of a stable, committed relationship. Here's the solution to every woman's woes: Keep your legs closed. If you don't have irresponsible sex with men you won't be stuck raising a child by yourself. How much of that situation is the man's fault is absolutely irrelevant. A person who's left a quadriplegic by an accident doesn't take any comfort in knowing the accident wasn't his or her fault. If you have the power to avoid a sh*tty situation you do it, regardless of how much responsibility other people should bear. There's no solace in moral victories.
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