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My child and I are currently living in the Low Country... Hilton Head to be exact. I've found this area to be geographically isolated, non-family friendly, no resources for single parents unless you are on welfare, and incredibly stricken with religious intolerance. (Plus, as a native born Pennsylvanian, I hate the hot, sticky weather!)
We're researching our options and upstate Carolina seems to have a lot of possibilities. We're surrounded by a huge elderly population, so my child has few, if any playmates within the strict gated community we live in. We have no familial support, so there's no reason to stay here. My child has met friends through the public school and extracurricular activities, only to develop meaningful friendships... when the parents of the other child decide to cut off the friendship because I am a) a single mother b) unmarried and divorced c) not affiliated with a local church d) not willing to let my child go to church or bible study with them, because I feel religion is a FAMILY thing!
The intolerance against divorced, single mothers of non-specific religious denomination is rampant here. It breaks my heart to see my son lose friends over and over again due to their intolerant parents.
Work is not an issue for me, I am self- employed and can work from home anywhere.
Am open to any and all suggestions, critique and debate about the upstate SC locality for single parents, families... where to live, best schools and neighborhoods, etc...
We are suffering here in Hilton Head Island, SC... This could not be the worst place to raise a family, if ever! We only moved here because my parents promised support and extended family- we received none of those promises, and now are completely alone. My work is isolating and makes it difficult to cultivate friendships with others, much less other single parents, as Hilton Head is difficult for even the most talented social butterflies to survive in.
Strange... I was born and raised in HHI and saw none of what you are seeing. Had plenty of friends with single parents, never even discussed religion, etc. To each their own I guess.
I cannot speak to the upstate in comparison though. I would think the relgion issue may be similar to what you described as the upstate is known to be in the bible belt.
I have never heard such negative things about Hilton Head. To be honest it sounds as if you have a bad taste in your mouth due to your family promising support and you not getting any. I don't think you can blame all of Hilton Head for that.
You just sound frustrated for your situation and not necessarily where you are.
A location can be what you make of it. No matter where you go if you have a bad attitude toward people, you will hate where you are.
Why are you in a strict gated community if that sounds like something you'd hate? Again you can't blame Hilton Head for your housing location.
I don't know but it sounds like perhaps you've had a bad experience with one family's intolerance and lumped all people into that category for the acts of one.
I do agree about the hot and sticky issue. Yep, I hate that too. That takes some getting used to but at least it makes for nicer skin.
How long have you been in Hilton Head? Have you really given the people a chance?
You will find most everyone here loves the Greenville area and will tell you it's a great place to raise children but it sounds like you're frustrated with life and not sure if you'll be happy in Greenville either.
Been here 10 years... I think that's enough time to give it a chance.
Of course I'm frustrated with my situation, and a good part of it has to do with Hilton Head. Of course I'm heartbroken that my parents have been barely involved in my son's life- anyone would be. Despite that, I've repeatedly tried to create a support network- something that every single Mother or Father needs to have.
The majority of places to live here are gated communities. I live in a subdivision with about 400 houses. I walk 5 miles a day around it. I have never seen a child except last Christmas- visiting Grandchildren. I have never seen a man or woman who appears to be under 50, if not 60. Did I know that when I bought this house 6 years ago? Of course not. That's only something that one would eventually figure out after living somewhere for several years. I've been trying to sell the house for 2 years. Finally under short sale contract.
I'm not referring to one family when I speak about intolerance. This has happened so many times in the last decade that I've lost count.
I like the idea of living somewhere more centrally located to other cities. I've read great things about Greenville having a great deal of arts, culture, a thriving downtown, etc... I also like that Atlanta wouldn't be a 5+ hour drive. I grew up in the Northeast, on a lake. I am attracted to the proximity of upstate SC to the lake and mountain regions. Not to mention less humid weather, a more distinct change of seasons, and out of a hurricane zone.
If the short sale goes through this time, we'll be moving in 2-4 months. Perfect time to start considering our options, I think...
Unless you want to stay in South Carolina, you might want to check a little farther north--western North Carolina. We're in Transylvania County, about an hour and a half drive from Greenville, and although I can't speak to social dynamics there, I do know (as a fellow native Pennsylvanian) that you won't lose much of the heat and humidity you dislike in Hilton Head. Greenville has some elevation, but it's a southern river town--and what I consider uncomfortable, at least from maybe May through early November. . . . That hour and a half north is "up the mountain" to cooler weather and, unless your religious inclination is toward Christian fundamentalism, an area which would probably be on the whole more accepting of you and your child from that perspective. Places you might want to look at (and there's a good City-Data forum just for western N. C.) are Brevard and Hendersonville--and Asheville, if you prefer a more lively city atmosphere. The arts are very much alive and well in the area (Transylvania, Henderson, Buncombe counties). Greenville is closer to Atlanta, but not all that much; depending where you're going, it's three to four hours from Transylvania County. As far as residential areas are concerned, Henderson and Buncombe counties have more gated commmunities, but traditional neighborhoods as well. Transylvania (Brevard) has only two gated communities, but many other options, and an excellent school system even in the face of the economy.
These are just a few thoughts for your consideration. I hope you and your child find just the right place. Life's too short to agonize about your surroundings, and you have a plus not many people have--a portable job!
It can be tough to live in the Bible Belt, but up here in Spartanburg, no one has been anything but nice. I'm Jewish, my kids are not going to church and they were accepted and fit in just fine.
Kids in the 8th grade and 1st grade went out of their way to welcome my kids in the middle of the school year change - very stressful.
My child and I are currently living in the Low Country... Hilton Head to be exact. I've found this area to be geographically isolated, non-family friendly, no resources for single parents unless you are on welfare, and incredibly stricken with religious intolerance. (Plus, as a native born Pennsylvanian, I hate the hot, sticky weather!)
We're researching our options and upstate Carolina seems to have a lot of possibilities. We're surrounded by a huge elderly population, so my child has few, if any playmates within the strict gated community we live in. We have no familial support, so there's no reason to stay here. My child has met friends through the public school and extracurricular activities, only to develop meaningful friendships... when the parents of the other child decide to cut off the friendship because I am a) a single mother b) unmarried and divorced c) not affiliated with a local church d) not willing to let my child go to church or bible study with them, because I feel religion is a FAMILY thing!
The intolerance against divorced, single mothers of non-specific religious denomination is rampant here. It breaks my heart to see my son lose friends over and over again due to their intolerant parents.
Work is not an issue for me, I am self- employed and can work from home anywhere.
Am open to any and all suggestions, critique and debate about the upstate SC locality for single parents, families... where to live, best schools and neighborhoods, etc...
We are suffering here in Hilton Head Island, SC... This could not be the worst place to raise a family, if ever! We only moved here because my parents promised support and extended family- we received none of those promises, and now are completely alone. My work is isolating and makes it difficult to cultivate friendships with others, much less other single parents, as Hilton Head is difficult for even the most talented social butterflies to survive in.
Help!
Thanks!!!
You live in paradise, and you can't even be happy there.. wow.
I just want to say that Hilton Head is either a retirement community or a vacation place. It's always been that. I'm sorry you moved there and didn't know that. Yeah it's hot. Have you looked towards Charleston and it's burbs? It's not far from parental figures even if they've not been so helpful but it's more citified and less a retirement/vacation place. Upstate is just as hot and humid but no beach. It is more familly oriented and if you choose a subdivision with northerners like mine you'll probably find friends of like mind.
I too am from Pennsylvania and am a recent relocatee from the North.
I try to avoid gated communities and condos in a 500 plus unit high rise.
Captured maybe too strong a word, but if living behind walls or fences doesn't suit you, it can be intolerable.
Savannah is 50-60 minutes away and the city and county have 1000s of lower or low price housing units, and a reputation for tolerance. The cost of living is low here and kids? We got them.
How you didn't know Hilton haed was a retirement comuinity is beyond my understanding. I researceh every city I plan to vacation in, let alone live in.Sounds to me like you had to learn the hard way, with some parents, living that close is worse than not seeing them at all. I had to learn that one myself.
Having said that, there is no way you could have known how intolerant folks here are. If you are not a religious person, avoid the south with exceptions of the bigger cities of Fl. and western NC to about winston salem, and of course the raleigh area. ( there is a direct correlation between higher education and blind following of any religion).
Having given up my imaginary friend at about age 6 , I feel your pain on that one, however I am older and do not have to go about in the public much any more, so I stay to myself, live, and let live.
The place you live is not going to make you happy, BUT it can make you unhappy. there are a couple lakes in NC Lake adger and lake lure are beautiful areas.
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Georgia - Savannah GA
