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Have any of you experienced a situation where a coworkers family member died?
If so, what was the way your group dealt with it?
I know some people deal with these things privately, but in some work places the news is given by management.
Recently someone at work lost their father. Most people in our group share social media with each other and often hang out after work. Those people already sent him a sympathy text/call.
I haven't yet because I'm not particularly close to him and don't hang out with him or anyone else outside of work. He is a good worker and I enjoy working with him though.
I don't want to be that person that doesn't say anything to offer sympathies. It's not that I don't want to, but feel a little awkward.
Usually the office all signs a card, and the company sends flowers. For people I work with directly or know well, I attend the visitation. Then express concern and provide support when they return to the office.
We generally send a plant to the funeral home and a card that everyone has signed. If it's someone you work directly with it's pretty common to express your own condolences or sympathy when they come back to work. On occasion people who might be especially close to the coworker will go to the visitation or memorial service. If you don't know the coworker well the group card (something a tad more personal than just your signature though) or call is sufficient IMO.
'Sorry for your loss' seems so impersonal... but probably really is the most appropriate thing to say to a casual coworker. It can be awkward, but they already know it's awkward for you (and them) and will probably appreciate the gesture.
Our manager had a card for us to sign as well so that was nice.
That's all good. I hope you already wrote "Sorry for your loss" or "Please accept my condolences" and signed your name together with many co-workers signed too. I don't see any awkwardness there at all. As you say, you are not close to him but you don't hate him for some reasons, right? So it's easy to write something on the card. No hard feeling. Even if you disliked him, it's okay to write a note of sympathy anyway. It shows that you are not a "small" person.
When I lost my father, my co-workers sent individual cards and notes. Most were sent to my home - which I thought was a better choice. I didn't need to get weepy at work reading those thoughtful cards and notes. Some employees offered verbal condolences, which I appreciated. I was very specific about no flowers, and a few work friends made donations to our charity of choice.
BUT there was one employee who said nothing, did nothing, and I'll never forgive or forget it: My boss. And yes, he positively knew about my loss. I was incredibly hurt and angry. It felt cruel. Ten years later, and it still makes my blood boil. (I later learned he always dealt with death like that. It wasn't just me.)
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