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My sister lost a child almost 1 year ago. How should I acknowledge this anniversary and let her know I'm thinking of her without causing any more pain than she is already in? I sent a card on the child's birthday. She appreciated that, but this is different. I also don't know, going forward, how to deal with these dates year after year.
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My cousin lost her son when he was two months old to SIDS. On the first anniversary, I sent her a single white rose in a vase with a blue ribbon. For the next three years, I did the same thing, but on the fifth anniversary, I sent her a miniature rose bush that she could plant outside. He would now be 38 years old. They don't live in that house anymore, but she says the bush was such a beautiful reminder every spring when it would begin to bud, and she loved the roses in full bloom.
My cousin lost her son when he was two months old to SIDS. On the first anniversary, I sent her a single white rose in a vase with a blue ribbon. For the next three years, I did the same thing, but on the fifth anniversary, I sent her a miniature rose bush that she could plant outside. He would now be 38 years old. They don't live in that house anymore, but she says the bush was such a beautiful reminder every spring when it would begin to bud, and she loved the roses in full bloom.
My cousin lost her son when he was two months old to SIDS. On the first anniversary, I sent her a single white rose in a vase with a blue ribbon. For the next three years, I did the same thing, but on the fifth anniversary, I sent her a miniature rose bush that she could plant outside. He would now be 38 years old. They don't live in that house anymore, but she says the bush was such a beautiful reminder every spring when it would begin to bud, and she loved the roses in full bloom.
I can't see anyone answering, "Yes, I'd like you to send me a gift." I really like the idea expressed above, of sending a flower or a flowering plant. Just something to say, "Thinking of you today."
My daughter's friend, whom she has known since age 4, lost her daughter at age two. Every year, on the anniversary date, they visit the grave at the children's cemetery, and let a few white balloons soar off into the sky. I do like the idea of planting a rosebush, which will bloom every year. And if there is a grave site, planting some bright yellow daffodils.
Depending upon where you live, maybe you could start a new tradition, maybe just going for a long walk, or maybe going out for ice cream sundaes! It is the idea of being with her, and "standing by her side", which shows the love. And I don't mean that literally -- you can live on opposite sides of the world and manage to send a beautiful, loving handwritten letter!!!
Just ask what you can do to acknowledge the life and passing of this child. Let her decide what she would like.
I don't think you understand what I'm asking. If I lived close to her, I suppose I could ask what she had planned and if she wanted company. I live out of state, and was thinking of sending a card, or something. Asking her if she wants me to send a card or flowers would be silly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellShoneMoon
I can't see anyone answering, "Yes, I'd like you to send me a gift." I really like the idea expressed above, of sending a flower or a flowering plant. Just something to say, "Thinking of you today."
Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyhockGarden
My daughter's friend, whom she has known since age 4, lost her daughter at age two. Every year, on the anniversary date, they visit the grave at the children's cemetery, and let a few white balloons soar off into the sky. I do like the idea of planting a rosebush, which will bloom every year. And if there is a grave site, planting some bright yellow daffodils.
Depending upon where you live, maybe you could start a new tradition, maybe just going for a long walk, or maybe going out for ice cream sundaes! It is the idea of being with her, and "standing by her side", which shows the love. And I don't mean that literally -- you can live on opposite sides of the world and manage to send a beautiful, loving handwritten letter!!!
Thank you. I kind of like the idea of marking the day with my own children, since I live far away and can't physically be with her. I like the idea of doing that on his birthday better than doing it on the day of his death, though. Maybe I'll send flowers, or make another donation to the charity they chose when he passed.
A card or a bunch of flowers, or a plant, anything really.....with "Thinking of you on this day....call me any time if you need to talk or if you need anything."
I have a good friend whose only daughter died in a freak automobile accident at the age of 22. I have always sent something like this to her, if not a gift or card, at least an email. She seems to appreciate.
The important thing is the feeling behind it, the love you are sending to her.
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