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Got a call last night from my x-boss..the one who had his business next door to my DH's. We must have talked for 1/2 hour and it was nice. It helped me to feel remembered! Very foggy today but it's suppose to be in the 70's so it will be muggy! I have so much to get done and just don't feel like doing it. One step at a time.......
I can understand Cyn. They say when we are sad the appetite goes down. Well one day, food will hold some flavor for you. Spring is on its way. Do you have any tulip and daffodil bulbs planted around? They sure cheer me up when they keep through the frozen grounds.
Somehow I got logged out of CD last night and could not get back in. I was worried all night--could not sleep well for fear of not ever getting to come here anymore to post. I know that is silly--there is always a way to work things out but my mind doesn't work like that anymore. It's very negative now sadly--that is a work in progress to be positive. I went to a birthday party the church had for my neighbor with the ALS...I helped set it up. Would have been a lot more fun had I not taken one of those new generic medications----the ones I have 3 months worth---they are terrible. Makes me feel like I'm angry--even yelled at my cats and I never do that. Not sure what to do now. I am not going to feel like that anymore. I'll call my doctor today. We had a good weather afternoon yesterday but looks like more rain and sleet starting up today. Ugh!
Glad to see that you are back on board cyn. I did post a questin in About the Forum and had a suggestion from a mod....but it was complicated and involved opening a new account and then contacting Marka...and then getting a new password and re establishing the old account and closing the new one. It sounded so complicated.....glad it worked out for you.
I have gone thru the very same thing....all of a sudden being asked my password....which I don't remember. When you log into CD there is an option "Remember Me".....I must have used that option....because it skips right over the demand for your password and welcomes you in.
Anyway.....good to see you. I did try to help when you told me your trouble....but You Did It Yourself.
I don't know if what I write is irritating to you and if it is I will stop. Anger is a big part of grief and whether or not the pill is causing that or not I have no idea but please realize anger is part of the grief process. You experience emotions and thoughts you are not accustomed to but they are all part of working through the grief process. I don't want for you to feel ashamed because you yelled at your pets, they understand, you love them unconditionally but they love you unconditionally.
I take a bath daily, to soak my old bones. I am in the bathtub this morning soaking and it dawned on me that I am not crying. I tried to remember when the last time I cried while taking a bath and it wasn't too far off but I wasn't sad. I felt at peace with myself for the first time. My house is small and I use to leave the door open to bathroom and talk to my husband in the living room and tell him how much I loved him. My dogs would come in and out of bathroom to see how I was doing and my one dog would want a kiss from me. My kitty would jump on the tub and watch me take a bath. I made it family time as I soaked in tub. The memories of my family including pets no longer bring a tears to my eyes but a smile to my face. I am at peace.
I don't know if what I write is irritating to you and if it is I will stop. Anger is a big part of grief and whether or not the pill is causing that or not I have no idea but please realize anger is part of the grief process. You experience emotions and thoughts you are not accustomed to but they are all part of working through the grief process. I don't want for you to feel ashamed because you yelled at your pets, they understand, you love them unconditionally but they love you unconditionally.
I take a bath daily, to soak my old bones. I am in the bathtub this morning soaking and it dawned on me that I am not crying. I tried to remember when the last time I cried while taking a bath and it wasn't too far off but I wasn't sad. I felt at peace with myself for the first time. My house is small and I use to leave the door open to bathroom and talk to my husband in the living room and tell him how much I loved him. My dogs would come in and out of bathroom to see how I was doing and my one dog would want a kiss from me. My kitty would jump on the tub and watch me take a bath. I made it family time as I soaked in tub. The memories of my family including pets no longer bring a tears to my eyes but a smile to my face. I am at peace.
You could not make me angry friend....this was a different kind of angry--it was the medication. Today I took a half of my old medication and am just fine. It's just time to get this all worked out...talk to my doctor and figure out a way to get off as much medication as I can. Now the Lorazepam relax me and help me sleep so I'm good with those. I just don't think taking anything that is a stimulate can NOT cause some kind of anxiety. I have gone for years without taking them and can and will do it again. I will go back to making lists. Smile. Got the book today and am excited to read it now. No smilin....what you say is truthful and right on so there is no problem there.
I don't know......???? the important thing is that our friend is back on line!
The moderator closed that thread.....since the problem was resolved and she thought there would be lots of conflicting recommendations. She said she was glad that my friend was back in CD.
I'm not even sure how I did it elston--it was very early this am--I know I prayed first! I need to be able to come her. I did write CD and explain my situation and this thread and how it has literally saved my life and sanity. Who knows what happened but I was very careful to remember what you had said and pushed that spot where it is suppose to remember your password. Anyhow I am back and I am very very happy about that. And even just taking 1/2 of one of the other older ADHD pills I feel really pretty good---much better then yesterday. It was like taking a bad drug. Just ugly! Yes, I get sad, angry, mad and all of that stuff but this anger was mean---not like me. A little scary. Happy to not have to take that medication. Lucky it is a "by choice" type thing for me. I've had to stop so many kinds of medications I know the routine and am following the rules.
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