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did counseling, doesn't help much, talking about it, does not bring them back.....
Nor is that the reason to go to counseling. Its not to bring them back, its to move the griever forward. to accept, to adjust to the profound reality .
I can't say I had that Spiritual nudge from a loved one. Wish I did. I simply find Little tokens that remind me of them when I miss them. A bookmarker that my mom had, or some other random object that They had. It will just somehow catch my eye. Thats the only signs I'm aware of.
Nothing. Just little reminders. Sometimes right when I need a good memory or smile.
Just kitties. Lots and lots of kitties. A house full of ghost cats. Can you be a crazy cat lady if the cats are just ghosts? LOL
After my mother's mother died she told me she had a waking dream one night that Grandma was sitting in her rocking chair in the bedroom and said to her, "Don't worry, A ____. Everything will be alright."
This seems to be part of the grief process for some people.
I've had a couple dreams but not many about my mother after she died. I had one thing happen last summer (she died in late 2017) that was out of the ordinary. I was sitting outside on my patio, it was a warm summer day/early evening, but not too hot. I was having a glass of wine and just looking around admiring what a nice day it was, and I thought to myself that, this is the kind of afternoon my mother loved to sit outside on her patio with a glass of wine and relax.
I smiled sadly at that and I looked up and for a split second, a cloud formation was right in front of me, which had the shape of a woman laying on her side. There was even enough detail to make out facial features and the silhouette of hair. She was dressed in a flowing robe, and it was only visible for literally a second or so. Then it blew apart quickly, though none of the other clouds around seemed to change their shape much.
I'm not someone given to seeing things, but the resemblance and the timing were uncanny. I'm not religious either, so while I don't believe, my mother did, and I hope she is at peace.
Where "soul" is after death, it can NOT reach towards a living being. It is NOT possible.
Whatever will contact you, will NOT be what you lost. Just a pretender, that has its own goal, usually, feeding on your energy. Read up on energy vampires and egregores.
Be VERY careful with any contacts of such nature. And, people that promise you that. Carry on with your life, that's it.
I am curios to hear from those of you that have lost a significant person in your life ( spouse etc).
Have you encountered or had and REAL SIGNS from them that they are all right?
I mean something MORE SUBSTANTIAL than a bird in the garden or a deer in your yard type of things...
Would love to hear from you..
hurting
Not really, but people in unbearable pain will grasp at whatever they can, given what feels like the unfairness of it all.
My father passed at age 81, mom at 61. The latter seemed so unfair, but she smoked and drank herself to death. That stuff will cause cancer in more people that not, combined with obesity in her case. Bummer, and my first introduction to the Reaper's business. Fair? Oddly, I guess it was, unfortunately. She's sure missed.
My dad died in his sleep after over-exertion at age 81. He shouldn't have done that, but died as he lived ("can-do", as I am also), so I had to consider that "fair" in a sense.
After my dad passed, I had what I personally feel was a spiritual experience informing me by some kind of higher power that all was well, he was in a new destiny. In a manner that I could not understand, nor should. This occurred in the chair in which he passed, which "to me" almost crackled with some kind of energy...sat in it within 48 hrs of his demise, when I flew in from out of town.
So, if that happened...and I assure you it did, from my subjective perspective...that was a REAL SIGN as you put it. Not MORE SUBTANTIAL, though. Lol...
Here's an interesting story for those who haven't heard it already regarding Basil Rathbone:
Rathbone was entertaining a friend one night at his home in the Hollywood Hills. Both men were keenly interested in dogs and their breeding. His friend had brought with him two handsome specimens. As it got late, the two friends had a parting drink and called it a night. The friend and the canines got into the car and drove away. But, sadly, not very far.
As Rathbone turned to go back inside, he heard the screech of brakes and the sickening sounds of a ghastly car crash. His friend and the dogs were killed instantly. In deep shock, and with the thought, “He was just standing here,†pounding in his aching head, Rathbone heard the damned phone begin ringing. Mechanically he picked it up and heard the voice of the MGM studio’s night switchboard operator. “Sorry, Mr. Rathbone but I have a woman on the line who simply must talk to you. She says it’s desperately, desperately important.†Probably some smitten fan, he thought as the operator said, “Sir, I’ve never heard anyone be so urgent. She hopes you’ll know what a certain message means.â€
Rathbone, impatient and in a daze, snapped, “For Christ’s sake, put her on and be done with it!â€
“I have for you, sir, what we term ‘a calling of urgency,’†she said. “It came to me with such impact that, although not knowing its meaning, I simply had to find you. The message is brief. Here it is in its entirety: ‘Traveling very fast. No time to say good-bye.’ And then, ‘There are no dogs here.’ â€
My mom has these visitation dreams a lot. My dad, her dad and her brother come and visit a lot. The night my dad died my brother felt a hand touch his shoulder, he saw my dad who told him he was ok but to take care of me and my mom. My dad died in 2004.My brother was living out of state and still lives out of state. I have never experienced this.
They're very different from regular dreams which you'll still experience.
They're aware of what's going on and communicating with you directly, whereas they are just playing a role in a regular dream. The latter is like a movie.
It may be too soon. I would expect it within the first six months. I never expected it and never knew when it was coming. I know friends that have never had it. It helps if they lived with you for some time.
I agree with all this. Right now I dream nearly every single night of our life together (lost my spouse six weeks ago) but these are not "visitation" dreams. There's a huge difference and we KNOW it if we have a visit from that person.
Interestingly, it wasn't in a dream that my dad visited me. Here's what happened, and it was TWO YEARS after he died. It was the morning of the anniversary of his death, but I hadn't even realized that yet because I had just gotten up and stumbled into the kitchen to get my first cup of coffee. I had my phone with me and laid it on the kitchen island when I walked into the kitchen, all bleary eyed and not quite awake yet. Suddenly and very randomly, my phone started playing a song. It wasn't one I had ever looked up. It wasn't on Pandora or any other program I had recently accessed. I had never heard this song before, but it was a song by an artist my dad had discovered before he died and who he really liked. It was "A Little Bit of Rain" by Amos Lee. Here it is (not sure why videos don't show up but at least here's the link): https://youtu.be/tKdHDJdm9Mw
My grandmother did come to me in a dream, and WOW, it was unmistakably a "visitation dream." This was a few months after she died. It was so markedly different from any other dream I'd ever had. In the dream, I had the kids all in the car and as I pulled up to the house, I saw, of all people, my grandmother, who was supposed to be dead for pete's sake, standing in the yard. I was very surprised and also wondered how I was going to explain THIS to the kids, who were all teens. Anyway, so I pulled up and got out of the car, and noticed that she was wearing the exact clothes we'd buried her in. I walked up to her and hugged her and laid my cheek against her cheek and wow, I could smell her face powder and just her overall scent which I had always loved, and I said, not knowing what else to say, "Well, I sure am surprised to see you here!" and she looked at me and winked and smiled and said, "Silly, I've just been away on a little trip." And then I woke up suddenly. And I walked into the living room where there was a buffet with a drawer and in that drawer I had put the program from her funeral, and that program was laying in the middle of the living room floor. I asked the kids later, and my husband, if anyone had gotten up in the night and no one had. So I do believe that my grandmother visited me and let me know she was OK and happy. She looked GREAT by the way!
Another thing that she did, I believe she did it, right around that time, was this: I was converting to Catholicism when she died. She knew this and had never disapproved though she wasn't Catholic. But considering she had terminal cancer, I didn't discuss a lot of this with her anyway. She died in January. In April, my dad and I were cleaning out her attic. I was up in the attic handing down boxes to my dad. I said, "Dad. I really, really need my baptismal certificate from you." I figured he had it in "my" file because he EVERYTHING and was very organized and even had my shot records, every report card, you name it, in that file. He was definitely opposed to me converting so he said, "Hmph, I'll see about it" which I knew meant that he wouldn't get it for me. Anyway, the very next box, I opened it and there was a porcelain statuette of the Virgin Mary in there - something very unusual that I had never seen in my grandmother's possession before. My dad had packed all these boxes just a few years earlier so I held up the statuette and said, "Where did this come from?" and he said, "Wow, I've never seen that before. Your grandmother wasn't Catholic." I said, "Oh well, OK - I'm claiming it then." Now get this. RIGHT BELOW that statuette was an envelope. And in that envelope was my BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE. No lie. I whooped and said, "Hey, Dad, never mind about looking for that baptismal certificate, I found it!" He was shocked and said, "What's it doing up there? I thought I had it!"
Believe me, that got my attention.
And those events did make my grief move into more of an acceptance mode.
So long story short, I don't believe that people ONLY visit us in dreams.
I read the book "The Lovely Bones" shortly after my grandmother died. Wow, it really spoke to me. In the book, the young girl was murdered but the book is not about her murder. She's in heaven, but her murderer has not been found on earth, and this torments the people she loves so she is sort of forced to confront their grief and torment while she's in heaven. She doesn't want her loved ones to suffer, and she of course knows who killed her, but it's difficult to actually communicate across the dimensions. So she tries to send them clues and comfort in other ways. One passage that really stood out to me is when her sister is walking along a road in the fall, and she's so tormented by trying to figure out who killed her younger sister. And her sister in heaven is trying, trying, trying to comfort her. All she can manage to do is send a leaf floating across the path in front of her sister, and her sister thinks to herself, "That leaf is the exact color of my sister's eyes," and that thought comforts her. That really stood out to me.
Anyway, I am rereading that book. My husband hasn't come to me or tried to communicate with me as far as I know yet. But he was my very best friend and my boon companion as we loved to call each other, and I do believe he will visit me one day. I hope so. I'm ready whenever. But like I said, it was TWO YEARS before my dad visited me, and my mom and brother both died last year and I haven't heard from either of them yet either, so it may be awhile. I don't believe time exists where they are, so it doesn't matter in my opinion, when it is.
Here are two more stories that are real and from my life:
My granddaughter is going to start her first year of college in the spring so she decided to move in with me since she likes the local college. She's a sweetie and we get along well and I thank God for her every single day. But anyway, she loved my husband, her grandfather, very very much. She was shocked by his death, especially because she had JUST visited with us a week or so before he died so unexpectedly and we had all done a lot of really fun things together (which is comforting but that's a story for another day). Anyway, so a week or so ago, she cried herself to sleep thinking about him and missing him. She wasn't "asking" him to come see her but she went to sleep longing for him and feeling pretty upset.
She had a very vivid dream that she told me about the next morning. She said the house was full of people who had just come from the funeral or visitation. And oddly, she seemed to know all of them, though in real life she didn't know a lot of the people of course. Anyway, she went around a corner and suddenly there was her grandfather, in his robe and with his hair all tousled, just like she loved seeing him every morning when he came out of the bedroom and said, "Hello there," to her. But in this dream, he seemed to feel a mixture of pity and mild irritation at her - like she had interrupted him somehow but he felt sorry for her grief. He said "Hello there" though. She said in the dream she was so shocked to see him so alive and "normal," that she just fell to the floor, and then she woke up immediately. She was all teary eyed when she was telling me this because she said "I should have hugged him - I missed my opportunity to hug him." And I laughed and said "But doesn't that sound just like him?" and she said "Well, actually yes!" I said, "You know, he hasn't come to see me yet - but I think he made an extra effort to come see you - and the reason he was mildly irritated was because you interrupted him and he's actually having a marvelous time right now!" And she agreed with me. Who knows? But it was a very vivid, real dream to her.
Here's another story:
I was my dad's POA, and after he had a stroke to his brain stem, the doctors came to me and said, "You know, we can keep him alive but we can't save his life. We need to make a decision about life support." I said, "Is he in any pain or distress?" and they said "No," so I said, "OK - let me go home and pray about this and reread his medical directive and I will give you an answer in the morning." So that evening, my daughter and I were driving home and as we pulled into the neighborhood, suddenly a HUGE owl came flying slowly toward the car. I mean, I thought I was going to hit this huge bird, it was so close to the windshield. Right before it hit the windshield, right after I looked directly into this owl's eye, it veered off. I had never seen an owl in the neighborhood before. I said to my daughter, "Oh my gosh, this means something." She agreed. I rushed into the house and looked up "the meaning of owls" and found out that people often misinterpret the presence of an owl to mean that someone is about to die, but what it really means is that the owl is there to escort a person safely to the other world. It's really meant to be a comfort, not a curse. Anyway, then I looked up my dad's spirit animal - I had never looked into spirit animals at all, but I looked up his, and lo and behold, it was the owl.
The next day, we removed my dad from life support and of course, he died that evening.
For the next three days, till the night after the funeral, two owls sat in a tree in my front yard. After the funeral, I never saw those owls again.
(Oh, and right right right before my husband left for work (two days before he died), a huge owl came flying slowly across our back yard. Now - I've seen owls and even eagles occasionally here but what was unique about this was that the owl was flying very low and very slowly across the yard - they usually fly high and land in the tops of trees.)
Interestingly enough, since I was looking at spirit animals, I looked up my husband's spirit animal as well (also mine, which is the Otter). My husband's was the bear. The description fit him perfectly. And he LOVED bears. He had a "pet" bear in fact, when he was working up in the mountains of western Pennsylvania, and he would feed this bear dog food, which he wasn't supposed to do of course. Anyway, the grandkids had bought him what they called a Ring Bear - it was a figurine of a bear that he would leave his wedding ring on when he was working out of town. And finally, when we were in Arizona, he looked for bear items and bought them - specifically a pretty expensive vase with a carved bear on it.
When he died, and I was absolutely shocked, I ran into the bedroom, knowing that a whole houseful of people was about to descend on me, and I hid, not his wedding band, but the Ring Bear itself - as if someone would take it or it just might "go missing." I put the wedding band on my finger but it was too big so I ended up putting it away, but in my grief and distress, it was the "Ring Bear" that I thought of.
So now I really notice bears. For instance, before we even knew about the spirit animal thing, one of the grandkids had given him a mug with a bear on it too. Believe me, I am keeping that mug. And the vase. And the precious Ring Bear.
Yes, after my dad died earlier this year I saw him many times...clearly. For years I have been able to see spiritual beings but I never saw one I recognized. The last time I saw my dad in his spirit form it was a very clear image of him. He was looking at me and smiling. I think that was his way of letting me know he's okay on the other side.
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