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I lost one parent 5 months ago. I lost a sibling a month ago. Now my other parent is very ill. I cannot believe I can lose three family members in one year...
Yes. In four years I lost my dad first, then my mom, then my brother, and then my husband. My mom and my brother (my younger brother) died within a few months of each other.
Oh and prior to my dad dying, I had lost my MIL and my FIL both within the same year, just two years before.
My condolences to you. I found one on one grief counseling to be helpful.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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It seems to go that way, multiples every time. They say that celebrities die in 3s, for me it's always 2. Going back to the early 1990s, we cancelled our vacation when one of my younger brothers was killed in a car accident. The day before his funeral, my father in law died.
Fast forward to 2013 - a younger sister died, and a few weeks later my mother in law, age 95 died, on my birthday.
In November, 2020 my stepfather passed away, and in June 2021 we had a family memorial gathering. AT that event my aunt got very sick and ended up dying two weeks later.
It's difficult, and not something you can ever get used to.
Yes, I know just how you feel. My oldest sister died in January 2018, my father-in-law in August 2018, and my dad in January 2019. It was a really tough year.
Of those losses, my sister was by far the hardest. Naturally I expected to live longer than my parents (my mom had died 18 years earlier), but siblings are supposed to be around throughout your life. I was only 47 when she died and I think about her all the time and wish I could talk to her.
then 8 months later my uncle (mothers brother) he lived next door to us since 1972.
We came to the conclusion that while my father was dying, so was my mother, but she was too busy taking care of him, she neglected herself, when he finally passed (at 90) she thought she would have a "ball" like the other ladies on the block (they were all friends since 1966) that all lost thier husbands, sadly, she (83) only lasted less than a year, plus then developed macro degenerate something, with the eyes.
It was awful.
Then, out of the blue, I get a call that my Uncle (73)was in the hospital, as he had some sort of cancer while my parents were sick, didn't tell anyone....then he passed.
the whole thing was beyond comprehension, so we had to get rid of the contents of a house that was lived in since 1966, nightmare, (we were the original owners, it was a brand new house), prep it up, and then put it up for sale, and, well, so goes life......
We came to the conclusion that while my father was dying, so was my mother, but she was too busy taking care of him, she neglected herself, when he finally passed (at 90) she thought she would have a "ball" like the other ladies on the block (they were all friends since 1966) that all lost their husbands, sadly, she (83) only lasted less than a year, plus then developed macro degenerate something, with the eyes.
Macular degeneration. My dad had that for years and was virtually blind by the end, but he "read" by listening to books on tape and "wrote" by dictating to a friend who acted as his secretary, so he got along pretty well.
My grandmother lost one brother after another (four total) in about four years. She was never the same after that. She was just so sad and missed them all so much.
When she was on her deathbed, I was coming down the hall and heard her talking, something she hadn't done in weeks. I was so surprised, and thought someone must be in there with her, but when I got in there, no one was there, but my grandmother was wide awake. I said, "I thought I heard you talking in here!" She said, "I was - I was talking to all my brothers and my mom and dad - don't you see them all standing over there in the corner? They're smiling at me."
My grandmother lost one brother after another (four total) in about four years. She was never the same after that. She was just so sad and missed them all so much.
When she was on her deathbed, I was coming down the hall and heard her talking, something she hadn't done in weeks. I was so surprised, and thought someone must be in there with her, but when I got in there, no one was there, but my grandmother was wide awake. I said, "I thought I heard you talking in here!" She said, "I was - I was talking to all my brothers and my mom and dad - don't you see them all standing over there in the corner? They're smiling at me."
The next day, she died.
I've heard similar stories several times. My dad had a similar experience, although he was not as lucid as your grandmother. He was in bed, going in and (mostly) out of consciousness for several days before he died, and several family members who visited got no response from him at all. The day before he died, my sister went to see him, and he was alert and recognized her when she spoke to him.
He told her how glad he was that she was there. Then he said out of the blue, "Am I dying?" She told him the truth: "Yes, Dad, you are." He was silent for a moment and then said, "There are people waiting for me." My sister replied, "Yes, Mom and Grandma and Andrea [our sister who had died the previous year] are waiting for you." He thought about that for a moment and said, "Yes, I think so."
Then he lapsed back into unresponsiveness and died the next day.
Macular degeneration. My dad had that for years and was virtually blind by the end, but he "read" by listening to books on tape and "wrote" by dictating to a friend who acted as his secretary, so he got along pretty well.
So sorry for all your losses.
Thank you,
Yes, that's it.
My father had it, and was considered legally blind. I did feel sorry for him, he was a simple man, happy just reading the newspaper from cover to cover, but a simple thing like that he was no longer able to do. The TV was hard for him to watch also, so he took naps all day. I am thinking he was in a living hell, but my Mother took really good care of him, then my mother developed it, OMG, please don't tell me I am pre-disposed to it also
My Uncle passing away through us all for a loop, my father at 90, we kinda figured it was coming, mom, eh, a little surprised. When we had her go to the hospital in December (before last) for some odd reason, I knew she was never coming home again, she didn't.
I felt bad that she didn't have the freedom from my father like the other ladies had, but she got sick very fast and didn't enjoy her "free" life....meaning, not having to take care of my Father.
I hope that didn't sound cruel, i didn't mean it to be.
My father had it, and was considered legally blind. I did feel sorry for him, he was a simple man, happy just reading the newspaper from cover to cover, but a simple thing like that he was no longer able to do. The TV was hard for him to watch also, so he took naps all day. I am thinking he was in a living hell, but my Mother took really good care of him, then my mother developed it, OMG, please don't tell me I am pre-disposed to it also
My Uncle passing away through us all for a loop, my father at 90, we kinda figured it was coming, mom, eh, a little surprised. When we had her go to the hospital in December (before last) for some odd reason, I knew she was never coming home again, she didn't.
I felt bad that she didn't have the freedom from my father like the other ladies had, but she got sick very fast and didn't enjoy her "free" life....meaning, not having to take care of my Father.
I hope that didn't sound cruel, i didn't mean it to be.
For the record, my mom had it and when I had my DNA tested I did have one of the several strands or whatever of DNA that they test for it but they said that it's not the strand that increases my risk, so you may get lucky too. Just thought I would share that with you. Don't worry.
I got my DNA tested at 23andme. You might want to check it out. Or ask your doctor.
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