Easier to go solo or as a couple? (rental car, sales)

[FallenIntoGreatness]

Ok folks, I've posted in the past but I know so many come through I need to do a refresh. I will be graduating early Dec and have already had my intake interview with HDOE. I am engaged w/o children. I've got my paperwork lined up so all I have to do for my license is submit proof of graduation.

Interview went really well, if there is something open first of the year I could have a position. We also discussed subbing at the interview. That said: I wasn't planning to move unless I had work lined up first. But the people I've spoken with in Hawaii (both online and while visiting) have me thinking I might need to be out there during the recruitment period for the 2012-13 school year and I could sub in between. The way the interviewer put it, by subbing: I get to know the different schools and they get to know me. Plus I become a Priority 1 candidate because I will already be moved.

My fiance has a small income (little over a grand per month) that will travel with him. He has several skills that could produce side work but I don't see him getting anything full time. He was in industrial maintenance prior to returning to school so his skill set includes welding, electrical repair, CDL, carpentry, HVAC, etc. Which are all very useful skills but I've heard there isn't much demand due to the current economy. He wants to transfer after we establish residency to finish his ed. psych. degree. He currently works part time doing similar work locally so he has references.

I have around 6k right now saved for the move. He has a few grand too. We plan to sell our cars and liquidate a few other assets closer to moving time plus income so savings will grow.

Enough background info, my title question: Should I go out alone and get settled first, with my fiance joining me in May or go together this winter? He wants to complete another semester if he stays, that's why it will be May before he would come out.

Some might think it is too far in advance to be planning but I know short term rentals for winter open in October and I want to catch the airfare sales so I am as frugal as possible with this move. Not to mention, I want to get back ASAP.

[LovelyI]

Just coming from someone in general Id say go solo until May. You could possibly get the ball rolling for him in the job department by placing his card all over town ( with an 808 number). Help him plant some seeds and you never know, he might be able to establish/connect with a job opportunity before coming in May. You can get a smaller place if its just you, lot of places charge extra for small housing if more than one person lives there. Six month lease is very doable. You can take your time and save money that way, find the most idea spot. Getting a great rent rate is important because its such a large part of your monthly expenses.

[tyvin]

If you're serious about moving out here then I say bring it. Get a studio or something, craigslist has many rentals but you need to be here to see the places as there are also many scams ... many.

Being here will definately make a difference in getting a position as opposed to applying from afar. I don't think it's too early at all. Early bird catches the worm.

[Calico Salsa]

Golly, I think it's a bigger question.

Would your relationship do OK with the distance and time? You'll be living apart for 7 months. Not everyone does OK with that.

It might seem more frugal to come over solo, but then you also have to consider:

- You'll be paying for some duplicate items in both places (internet access, cable TV, phones unless you go cell only, even things like mayonnaise and toilet paper)

- What about the holidays? Going to spend them apart? If not, then one of you has to make an extra round trip, that blows any savings on airfare.

- Will you be able to make the decisions on where to live and all that, without your fiance's input? Many can, some can't.

[FallenIntoGreatness]

The relationship will be fine, 5-6 months apart should not be a problem. Missing a couple of holidays will not bother us either. He trusts my judgement and I'm sure he will not miss the rental hunting process. I have been looking at the cost of 2 households, paying 2 rents might be the point that changes his mind.

I think it would be best to come out together and he thinks I should come out alone. His reasoning being he would be making money here whereas out there he might be spinning his wheels for months. The bills here are internet and cell phone plus utilities and rent. Cars and motorcycle are paid for so his argument that it wouldn't cost more than he would make is hard to argue. We are not fighting about this, it is just up for debate right now. I don't like to make others do things they don't want to; if he continues to really, really feel like I should go first, I will.

I appreciate the boards opinions, it's very helpful to get outside viewpoints.

[MickeyE]

If you go by yourself, buy him a harmonica.

Stolen from another site.

Play That Harmonica

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year.

A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

"My love," he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings.

Besides that, we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted?"

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why don't you learn to play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife.

"Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!"

She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that harmonica."

Mickey

[FallenIntoGreatness]

Cute story, I will share that with him.

[Calico Salsa]

It sounds like time apart won't be a factor, which is great.

I can see how your fiance would want to take the certain pay over the uncertainty of finding more work here. But won't he have to do that at some point anyway? That is, won't he be spinning wheels later?

I wonder if maybe it's his way of either seeing how much you really want to move, and/or whether the move will work out. If you come over solo and find out that things here aren't what you'd hoped, then you can come back and he still has a home base up and running there. But if you both move, then there's not such an easy exit strategy.

But back to your question - I think the answer is really less in the logistics and more in the way you'll both handle it. In some ways it will be easier for you solo, because you can run around and handle everything during the recruitment period. You'll get to know people, set up the household and area. In the meantime he can continue doing what he needs to do.

As long as you're comfortable handling things on your own, and with making the decisions, then go for it.

[FallenIntoGreatness]

Well, his idea for the first night of our visit was to sleep in our rental car until we could check into our vacation rental. I can only imagine his "solutions" if finding a place to live is a challenge. So maybe it would be better if I picked our new home without his input.

His main point is, if he is here making guaranteed money he can get cash to me if something comes up and I need it. If he is there with me when ___ hits the fan, ____ just gets on both of us. So I think you may have a point, he is trying to be supportive and keep a safety net for me. Once I have a job, I can be supportive of his job search; returning the favor.