I think a nap is going to end us. (thyroid, health issues, sore)
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I love my boyfriend, R. He is a diagnosed HSP (highly sensitive person) so that's come along with some "quirks" that I've learned to live with. One I can't seem together past is his napping habits. We live together, and this one really bothers me, and I'm not sure why or if I'm even being rational here.
I love a good nap, but this is R's daily routine:
Work at a truck leasing place:7am-3:30pm.
Nap: 4:00-7:00ish
(I get home from work around 5:00)
He has to sit in the tub for another 30minutes or so to wake up.
By about 7:45 he's groggy and hungry. We eat. He goes to bed at 10.
I feel like I only get to see him during the weekends.
He refuses to go to a doctor to rule out health issues, that's a sore subject because I've been asking him for his insurance info for months so I could make an appointment for him.
He refuses to take any sort of mental health medication. At all.
We've been together for two years...but I still question if I can handle dating an HSP.
It sounds to me like his "naps" are too long. There are plenty of articles that talk about how long to nap if you want to wake up refreshed (generally 30 mins or 90 mins), which it sounds like isn't happening here. He's probably falling into a deep sleep, and he's missing out on time spent with you.
We've been together for two years...but I still question if I can handle dating an HSP.
This is not a HSP issue. It's another issue and if you can't handle it you can issue an ultimatum that he sees a doc, but only if you're willing to follow through. He doesn't sound like he'd be a good candidate to father your children if he stays like this.
A nap that long signifies something else is going on. Is he overweight? How does he sleep during the night? Heavy snorer or someone who tosses and turns a lot? How's his thyroid?
He does not smoke weed, and he's not overweight at all. He's a very light sleeper so I'm sure that's most of it. Either that or he chalks it up to family habits, since apparently his father and grandfather would nap every day. I have no idea if he has thyroid issues, as he will not go to the dr.
Once again we're missing out on social plans tonight as 7:30 is "too late" to go out.
He does not smoke weed, and he's not overweight at all. He's a very light sleeper so I'm sure that's most of it. Either that or he chalks it up to family habits, since apparently his father and grandfather would nap every day. I have no idea if he has thyroid issues, as he will not go to the dr.
Once again we're missing out on social plans tonight as 7:30 is "too late" to go out.
I'm just going to go out myself and have fun.
I was diagnosed with a sleep disease and I can understand your frustration.
He needs to get his thyroid checked (which was the main cause for me) and if all THREE are in check, have a sleep study done, maybe he is not getting enough rest while he sleeps. I feel bad for him for being such a sleeper because for people like him (and me), life is much shorter with all the wasted time.
A 3 hour nap is way too long. He should reduce it to 30 minutes.
HSP is the new label for old truth that some people are more sensitive to environmental stimuli than others. Those people have relative difficulty filtering sounds and other sensory inputs.
I read a bit about this condition, and wonder how he function all day at work - where he is exposed to environmental factors such as smells, harsh/artificial lighting, phone, people, etc. and rattled by having too much to do in too short a time...
Life in a city - loud noises, car fumes, crowds of people is an HSP’s nightmare.
I understand that he might need to withdraw into peace and quiet when overwhelmed, but most stressors are at work, not at home. So why he stays active and working most of the day, and then collapses into a sleep "coma" for the rest of the day?
Kind of inconsistent behavior...
Anyway, living with such person might be very difficult. There will be lots of time spent alone, since your SO is not an outgoing person, but rather someone who like peace and quiet, long hours in bed, soothing baths, solitude.
Having house full of kids, and vibrant family life is probably out of question, same for socializing, dealing with difficulties and worries of daily life, emotions, sadness, daily news, even TV...
Thyroid and sleep test need to be done in the same week. No need to kick the can down the road. More than 12 hours of his life is dedicated to sleeping, with another 8 hours dedicated to work. It's not healthy to sleep that much. Adults typically only need 6-8 hours of sleep total in a day to function properly.
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