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However, to play devil’s advocate here, if he indeed has the dementia of the kind you mentioned, there is seemingly nothing that medicine can do for him — neither cure, nor treatment — so why the rush? I suppose we could work on coping strategies with a therapist, but we’re both pretty smart and could probably come up with strategies on our own.
omg, no, there is plenty that can be done to treat dementia, improve quality of life, and slow the progression of the disease. Do not try to do this yourself. Dementia is not a DIY kind of project. I don't care how smart you are. Professional intervention is effective. If your husband indeed has Alz or some other kind of dementia, you can immediately subtract 5 years off your life expectancy. This is not for sissies. It is a grueling ride for caretakers, so don't even think coming up with your own strategies is going to be the best you can do. Let professionals do what they do best and take every scrap of help you can get. And what if he does have something treatable? What if he has a brain tumor or stroke activity. Are you going to deny him care because you don't think you need to rush? That's just a weird thing to say.
Put your devil's advocate hat down and just call a neurologist already!
Respecting his wishes by not pressing the issue is like ignoring the speeding bus that is coming right at you both. It's all well and good if he wanted to bear some kind of physical discomfort, but dementia can endanger your life as well. Tell him he does not have a choice.
After what I've seen, if my spouse put his heels in like that, I'd move out. Seriously. I'm not exaggerating. He would come home to find the drs number on the kitchen table and me and my suitcases gone. IMHO to refuse to even see a doctor for a potentially serious medical condition is a form of emotional abuse.
Tough love. And I wouldn't come back until the day of the drs appt.
What is the connection between "good fats" and what you quoted?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gunslinger256 View Post
look into low carb dieting for the alzheimers
A ketogenic diet is low carb high fat and has been shown to improve symptoms of Alzheimers. It is proven as a treatment for Epilepsy and has been around since the 20's for those of you who do not know. There is direct correlation between excess glucose consumption and Alzheimers. Cut back on the sugar/carbs and there may be an improvement. I would not discount it if I were in the OP's position. It's not made up.
There are a million conditions, neurological & otherwise, that could be causing your husband to have the symptoms you describe. I've never kept a marriage going for 30 years, so I don't know exactly how to suggest going about it, but if that was my partner, I'd be doing whatever it took to persuade him to look into getting a diagnosis.
And I would also hope that my (hypothetical) partner would do the same for me, if the situation were reversed. Taking it one step further, I wish my former partner had been any kind of helpful, 12-13 years ago when I had a brain tumor (it's been removed, it wasn't cancer, but my abilities were definitely affected). He chose instead to start attacking my kids (his step kids) in the name of "discipline" while I was at work, so my treatments for the tumor included getting an order of protection, fending off tons of aggression and manipulation from him & his pals despite having the order of protection, a nasty Family Court trial which, with preparations, lasted almost a year & my exploitative attorney cost $15,000 - same year I first ran out of sick time, & had to use leave without pay... (sorry if TMI)
But the relevance to the thread is, in retrospect I see that if I had a "normal" (helpful, cooperative) spouse, I might not have been affected as much by my health issues as I am now. I have a little joke with myself - something like, the fact that I've been trying to schedule a neuro-psychological evaluation for myself the whole time, since like 2005, but repeatedly haven't succeeded due to whatever barrier happened to thwart that particular attempt (I've gotten close several times, but then insurance, or a snowy winter, or other blockages prevented it; it's a bit discouraging).. anyway... that in itself (back to my little joke) - the inability to schedule a neuro-psychological evaluation - is a neuro-psychological evaluation of sorts (maybe not quite a joke) but LOL, right? It's cool... even if we were still together, he wouldn't have known how to be helpful in that context. I was probably already being subtly affected by the tumor when I made the decision to marry him, but it hadn't made itself known yet. Even years later, in my experience it's still difficult to stop & question one's own choices in real time (they don't have me locked up or anything) - might get some insight later on (days, years.... ) or might not. It's not like when a brain injury causes you to lose your sense of smell, or balance or something tangible... it's very difficult to pin down what's going on. Especially when the person's abilities fluctuate wildly and unpredictably, etc.
I think most patients who are experiencing potential cognitive problems could really, really benefit from having their spouse (or any caring person, really) take a strong interest in their health... as if it were their own. And (I can only imagine) but if you are married to the same person for 30 years, you would probably know some techniques for getting them to do what you want, even if you don't typically use the techniques to manipulate your partner? If it turns out to be a treatable condition & they respond to treatment, I'm sure they'd be very grateful. Just guessing again, as I've never had a co-operative helpful spouse to test this idea. I know I spent a lot of time dealing with my other ex's cirrhosis, also at the expense of my own health, but he's already re-written that chapter in his mind to make himself a big hero.... I pretty much knew how he was going in, made the only real possible choice - help him get his health stable and then dump him before totally losing my own health, which was affected by his actions anyway (of course). It was all very draining.
Ugh sorry to go on & on, I know this is way too many words, much more than needed to express the content, but at times, I really struggle with being able to keep it short .... I'd be here for hours on a big OCD binge, if I try to edit this post down to size. Not only I don't have hours to spare right now, but that's not really a viable use of time for anyone IMO....
tl; dr: It must be nice to have a partner who cares enough about your health to post about it on a message board.
A ketogenic diet is low carb high fat and has been shown to improve symptoms of Alzheimers. It is proven as a treatment for Epilepsy and has been around since the 20's for those of you who do not know. There is direct correlation between excess glucose consumption and Alzheimers. Cut back on the sugar/carbs and there may be an improvement. I would not discount it if I were in the OP's position. It's not made up.
I'm well aware of that. I was not replying to you and you misunderstood what I was trying to say.
I'm well aware of that. I was not replying to you and you misunderstood what I was trying to say.
No misunderstanding, I was hoping the OP would see it. After all, it's about her.. She probably will not try to change her husband's diet and he probably would not go along with it but at least the information is there.
No misunderstanding, I was hoping the OP would see it. After all, it's about her.. She probably will not try to change her husband's diet and he probably would not go along with it but at least the information is there.
Recently, I’ve noticed changes in my husband’s personality that I’ve found worrying. When we first got married (thirty years ago) and throughout much of our early life together, I would tell people that he was the most sane, least neurotic person I had ever met. He was the one who taught me how to stop worrying, stop complaining and generally just be happy.
Over the last few years and particularly over the last month, I’ve noticed a big change. He is himself from day-to-day, but whenever there is anything that does not go according to plan, particularly when we are traveling, a new snarky/sulky/irritated/aggressive side to him appears. Two weeks ago, we were on a flight that wound up being diverted to another airport. We wound up spending 5 hours waiting for information and standing in various lines (for hotel vouchers, for taxis, to check in to a hotel, etc.) While most people either waited calmly or joked around or got to know other people on line, he sighed, muttered, complained, fumed and/or sulked the entire time. What happened to my calm, mature husband?
Then this weekend when we checked into another hotel, he got really upset when we had to wait a whole 5 minutes to check-in. Then he got upset with me for remaining calm and not getting upset along with him. Next, he got angry at me for not bringing something that we had discussed earlier and collectively decided not to bring. At the same time, he realized that he had forgotten his knapsack (which included his laptop, his medication, etc.)
About two months ago when he was traveling without me, he also forgot to pack his computer and I had to take emergency measures to get it to him (he couldn’t do his work without it).
Then, yesterday, he came home from work an hour late (unusual) saying that he had a really bad day and that he was worried there was something wrong with him cognitively.
Here was his day: He got a late start (for whatever reason) and got stopped by the police before he even got out of our neighborhood. He said they told him he had run a “stop light.” He told me exactly where he was stopped, and I could tell that it was actually a stop sign, not a “stop light.” (There are no stop lights between our house and that point.) I asked if he had rolled through and he said he didn’t remember seeing it at all (and not even slowing down I am assuming). There is only one way out of our subdivision, no new stop signs have been put in and we have lived here over ten years and yet ....
He gets to work and is feeling slightly panicky because he has a big presentation for his boss that afternoon and it isn’t ready yet, so he dives in and spends all morning working on it. However, when he goes to the meeting with his boss, he realizes that the meeting is not that day, but the next day. He also learns that he did have another important meeting that afternoon, which he has missed because he got the days screwed up. He also made one other embarrassing mistake at work that day, but I forget exactly what it was.
Anyway, the thing that worries me the most is that he mentioned that he feels “off” cognitively.
He is 61. Two of his grandparents died of Alzheimer’s and his father eventually suffered some symptoms of dementia before he died of something else at 86. I don’t think his grandparents had early onset though.
To balance the picture, I should say that my husband has always been at least somewhat absentminded. He is a professor and back about 25 years ago, he simply forgot to go to class one day. About years ago, he missed his plane because he went to the wrong airport. Four years ago, we nearly got stuck in Russia on a visa violation because he got our airline departure time wrong. Over the past ten years, I’d say he screws up an appointment every month or so and misses a flight every couple of years due to scheduling snafus of his own making. Last year he forgot to bring enough of his medication on vacation.
He has also been upset with his own driving skills for a while now (some near misses, including one with a famous, distinguished professor in the car as a passenger, run red lights, etc.) Whenever we are out together, I try to drive as much as possible, particularly after lunch when he tends to fall asleep (!) On the other hand, the moving violation he received yesterday was the first he’s ever gotten in his entire life — so it’s not like the driving’s a catastrophe all the time.
Since he seems aware that there is a problem, my plan is to remain vigilant and suggest he see a medical professional if he has more really bad days like that. He needs to drive for his work (minimal public transportation here), so I’m not sure what to do about that. Besides, he hasn’t gotten into any accidents ... yet. His solution thus far is to start drinking coffee (never did before). He now makes sure he has some caffeine in his system before he gets into a car.
So does this sound like dementia or maybe mild narcolepsy and dementia? Or is my absent-minded husband just getting more absent-minded. Is it a bad sign that he thinks something is wrong? How about the sudden personality changes?
Ideas?
Try to get him to see his primary care doctor and in the mean time try to relax. The only positive thing I can offer is, remember even if it is early dementia it takes years to fully develop. We are in our early 80s and have friends that are having memory problems and yes, other signs of mental slow down but they still function pretty close to normal. Even my husband has early signs, he just will not admit it.
as far as being forgetful, like forgetting his computer, that really doesn't mean he has anything wrong with him. It is more annoying that something to get too worried or worked up about.
Good luck and let's hope he will see his doctor. If nothing else for peace of mind. There are medications that can slow down the process and there are many illnesses, including TIAs that can play a part. Do make sure he gets a good diagnose, especially with the family history. But remember all of us are just giving our views and most of us do not have enough information to be much help.
That being said, has he started any new medications? The reason I ask is because I am also married to "the absent minded professor." My husband, who is great at his job as a company man with an oil and gas company (like a project manager) started Lipitor for high triglycerides and within a few days, he was exhibiting cognitive issues very much like the ones you describe. He even called me from work saying that he truly wondered if he was losing his mind, or if he had early onset Alzheimer's (his mother had Alzheimer's but it didn't manifest till she was in her 80s).
I just luckily remembered that he'd started Lipitor a few days before he left for his work out of town, and I looked up the side effects and cognitive issues is one very serious side effect and if it manifests, you're supposed to immediately stop taking it and contact your doctor! So he stopped, and within 24 hours he felt totally normal again.
That being said, his absent minded ways (he constantly misplaces or forgets his phone, wallet, etc. and that sort of thing) are part of who he is - but this was a different sort of forgetfulness - for instance, he said he would get his laptop out to do some paperwork that he clearly knows how to do, and he would find himself just sitting in front of it thinking that everything just looked like a jumbled mess he couldn't make heads or tails out of. After getting off the Lipitor, like I said within 24 hours he was feeling totally back to normal and could function correctly and as usual.
Good luck - keep us posted! I haven't read the entire thread yet so forgive me if you've already thought of this or if someone else has already mentioned it.
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I don't care how smart you are. Professional intervention is effective. If your husband indeed has Alz or some other kind of dementia, you can immediately subtract 5 years off your life expectancy. This is not for sissies. It is a grueling ride for caretakers, so don't even think coming up with your own strategies is going to be the best you can do. Let professionals do what they do best and take every scrap of help you can get. And what if he does have something treatable? What if he has a brain tumor or stroke activity. Are you going to deny him care because you don't think you need to rush? That's just a weird thing to say.
- the inability to schedule a neuro-psychological evaluation - is a neuro-psychological evaluation of sorts (maybe not quite a joke) but LOL, right? It's cool... even if we were still together, he wouldn't have known how to be helpful in that context. I was probably already being subtly affected by the tumor when I made the decision to marry him, but it hadn't made itself known yet. Even years later, in my experience it's still difficult to stop & question one's own choices in real time (they don't have me locked up or anything) - might get some insight later on (days, years.... ) or might not. It's not like when a brain injury causes you to lose your sense of smell, or balance or something tangible... it's very difficult to pin down what's going on. Especially when the person's abilities fluctuate wildly and unpredictably, etc.
