Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hey, everybody. I don't know if this is the right place for this question but it seemed like the closest fit given the categories offered.
So, my husband showed me the other night that he got a program where he can actually operate my computer, which is temporarily "our" computer as his melted down, from either his phone or his iPad...I can't remember which.
He can go from his iPad (I think) and make things move around on my comp from there. Open or minimize windows, open programs, etc.
Does this mean he's tracking what I do all day, as well? Which is not a problem but now I'm curious. I do have my reasons for wanting to know. We're getting along terribly right now which is why I'm wondering if there's some ulterior motive or if he doesn't trust me or something. He said he got it for days when he works from home.
I wish I could remember the name of this program or app or whatever it is but I am just lousy when it comes to technology.
If there is an app like that - I shudder - he is breaking the cardinal rule of a long-lasting marriage - "Give your spouse their own space/room/desk and privacy - and stay out of it!"
While my computer was in the shop for two weeks, I borrowed DH's - and asked permission, every time, before I ever sat down at his desk. I was careful not to go into his files or email, and didn't disturb anything on his desk - or desktop.
We are two totally different people, with totally different interests, and even have our own rooms and shops in the house/on the property where neither goes without asking the other's permission. It's called respect and trust. (Not to mention that he doesn't understand my sewing room or my ceramics room, and I avoid his sawdust-covered and/or greasy equipment-filled shop like the plague.)
Well, I'm not worried...I've done nothing wrong. So it's not an uh-oh for me...I do feel like we're not going to be married forever...too many problems in general. So yeah, this could be a symptom of a marriage gone wrong but it's already wrong. He won't find anything about me as I lead a very boring life, which he knows as he's the one who controls it all. And I do mean all. But I was wondering.
Contrary to your post it sounds like it is a problem and not in the scope of him catching you up to something but rather you don't like be monitored 24/7. I'd have a discussion with him as to why he feels it's necessary to keep track of what your doing and be blunt that you don't need a nanny and essentially an "electronic tether". Sounds like he has some kind of control issue and is trying to intimidate you.
My husband has the same kind of app for his iPad (but it's set up to work with our "media pc" not my personal laptop) and he says your husband could watch what you are doing on your computer live, while you're on it - but it does not "track" what you're doing so he can look at it later. So it's not like he could check hours later and see what you were doing several hours ago. Also, if it's the same app my husband uses, there is a notification pop up that comes up on your computer screen when he opens the app on his iPad/iPhone. It's not intended to be a snooping/tracking app.
I also think if he wanted to keep an eye on what you're doing on your computer, he wouldn't have showed you the app.
I would be curious, as to what reason is the basis for your current inability to "get along", (as you see it)?
Often, discord in a marriage is based upon things like infidelity, the keeping of secret communications from
one another, as we share what would normally be considered as "community property", namely, the computer.
You say that his PC had a meltdown. At the time that his computer died, if he had not either stored or salvaged
his data, he's got no reason to be tied into what you say, was your PC. If he did transfer his recovered files to
your computer, then, there just may be a plausible reason for his need to remotely access that data.
Are you too financially strapped to get a second computer? It's only right that if you are both active on the computer,
that, like it is in a two car family, that each of you have needs that cannot be fulfilled in a shared arrangement. In my own
opinion, a personal computer might be likened to a toothbrush, a common household item not really intended to be shared.
Your wisest choice would be to, at all cost, get another computer, at this time in history where we have embraced it, we've
even become fairly dependent upon having so many of our relationships centered within a personal computer, that one place
which we can call our own, sharing with those whom we want to share, placing perhaps, our deepest secrets and our recorded
thoughts. Hey, it's certainly not working well for Anthony Weiner, (proving that, one man's meat is another man's poison)...
Quote:
He said he got it for days when he works from home.
This doesn't make sense. If he was working from home, he'd already have access to the computer, right there in the home.
Why would he need to use his iPhone to get into his home computer? If he were inclined to search and snoop the family computer,
he wouldn't need a remote means of access, would he?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So it's not an uh-oh for me...I do feel like we're not going to be married forever...too many problems in general. So yeah, this could be a symptom of a marriage gone wrong but it's already wrong. He won't find anything about me as I lead a very boring life, which he knows as he's the one who controls it all. 
And I do mean all. But I was wondering.
Are you too financially strapped to get a second computer? It's only right that if you are both active on the computer, 
This doesn't make sense. If he was working from home, he'd already have access to the computer, right there in the home. 
