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A formal living room is a total waste of precious space in most homes. Unless your living room is large enough to seat a lot of people, it's useless.
I made the huge mistake of having a den and livingroom in my last house. The den was too small and the livingroom was too small. Nobody ever went into the livingroom either. I should have combined them into one large room.
I also think the open plan kitchen is way over rated. Who wants to entertain people with your whole kitchen exposed? Not me.
Plan your meals better so you're not stuck in the kitchen so much when you have friends over.
Or invite people into the kitchen with you to help and start your own conversation.
My kitchen, living room and dining room are all separate rooms, and none of them is formal.
First, I thank each and every one who has taken the time to respond.
Jukes Girl, said it best. " Anyone who thinks a dinner party can be prepared ahead without someone having to go into the kitchen multiple times all through the event has never entertained my extended family."
The only thing I would to her comment is "or our friends".
I appreciate all the constructive responses on the pros and cons. This was not meant to be a commentary on how I entertain ( that won't change) or on our family and friends but rather the pros and cons of the "physical rooms".
In my dreams, I want a great room/kitchen and a formal dining room for those "special occasions". In my dreams I will forgo the formal living room since now Dha uses the man cave and I, the den or computer room. We are relo-ing and I expect lots of company so that is why I am asking. We have seen a few lovely homes but they have they closed concept with the living room as opposed to a great room and not the open concept that, I think I want.
I have lived in both and am trying something new we have an eat in kitchen and I have placed a small couch with chair where the usual kitchen table goes. I believe they used to call it a "keeping room" of sorts. I do have a formal dining room where we eat all our meals except sometimes breakfast I let the children eat in the keeping room so I can see them and ask how they slept. Just food for thought. Don't let the rooms contradict how you live think outside the box sometimes and what your needs are at the time.
I like the inner-santum of my kitchen when I cook. I don't want to be attached to a room my husband is watching a blaring television or listening to music...in fact, once in a while I like to watch television (or listen to it anyway) or listen to music when I cook or have blissful quiet while I try to read recipes and cook. I want the noise of someone elses television show, telephone conversations, etc....left in the family room or living room where I won't be disturbed. Now this is just my preference and is certainly considered old fashioned or even passe by some. Our family room and living room and separated by a partial wall bisected by large pocket doors that, when open, really make those two rooms feel like one.
When we have a formal dinner party, we eat in the formal dining room....we have a full size swinging door between the kitchen and dining room so I can shut off the mess and smells and serve in the dining room - which I like.
Big parties are served buffed and I serve from the very large kitchen island....people do gather there because it is a large area with a bay window overlooking the garden - so it is a pretty spot. So I can put the last minute touches on the buffet while visiting.
I guess in part we like what we are used to...I just like the privacy and quiet of a separate kitchen.
People can come into your kitchen and chat with you whether it's a separate room or not.
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Anyone who thinks a dinner party can be prepared ahead without someone having to go into the kitchen multiple times all through the event has never entertained my extended family.
No, but I entertain my extended family and I plan everything well ahead so that an occasional dash into the kitchen to attend to the food doesn't put a cramp on my conversational skills.
Seriously, are you people afraid your guests will talk behind your back while you're in the kitchen?
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I can imagine circumstances (not so prevalent in my life now, but I have had those times) when a visible stove, pots and pans, cooking noise, etc., is less welcome.
There is never a time when a kitchen filled with dirty pots and pans is a welcome sight. I don't want to look at the kitchen -- even if I've managed to prepare the food in the tidiest manner possible -- while I'm eating, whether it's a formal occasion or not.
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Sometimes I would like to close the door on the food prep and serving. But that kind of entertaining isn't much a part of my life now.
What "kind" of entertaining is that?
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It also isn't that common in the very informal Southwest where people pitch in with clean up and help themselves to things from the fridge,
My fridge in the Mid-Atlantic is open to all my guests. They don't seem to mind having to walk to the kitchen to do so; the number of steps they have to take is probably the same, whether a wall is in the way or not.
They're also expected to help clean up! Especially relatives ...
Ok everyone I understand. Please be advised that I have decided to relo next door to JukesGirls because we seem to entertain the same way and have the same type family and friends.
Even though I have said this is not a referendum on my entertaining style but rather on the rooms themselves perhaps I will ask the mods to close the thread. To those who have given me solid opinions, I say a very big thank you & I will take all of your comments into consideration in my decision making process. Again thanks.
People can come into your kitchen and chat with you whether it's a separate room or not.
No, but I entertain my extended family and I plan everything well ahead so that an occasional dash into the kitchen to attend to the food doesn't put a cramp on my conversational skills.
Seriously, are you people afraid your guests will talk behind your back while you're in the kitchen?
There is never a time when a kitchen filled with dirty pots and pans is a welcome sight. I don't want to look at the kitchen -- even if I've managed to prepare the food in the tidiest manner possible -- while I'm eating, whether it's a formal occasion or not.
What "kind" of entertaining is that?
My fridge in the Mid-Atlantic is open to all my guests. They don't seem to mind having to walk to the kitchen to do so; the number of steps they have to take is probably the same, whether a wall is in the way or not.
They're also expected to help clean up! Especially relatives ...
See we really are very different, I would never expect nor allow a guest in my home to clean up. My hubby and I do all the cleaning and we wouldn't have it any other way, in fact we prefer it, since as a team we have a system. I can appreciate the offer to help but in all honesty it is easier for us to let our guests, be guests and do all the clean up ourselves.
If you expect that, and they comply with your wishes, good for you.
My daughter's new house has a great room/kitchen - it was added to the old stone farmhouse. The former owners had it built from the stone when they demolished the old barn. My daughter and her husband practically live in it. It has a fireplace on one wall, and big sliding doors on all sides for a nice view of the woods. The former owners made the old kitchen into a foyer/breezeway and laundry room, with the old dining room and living room next to it. They now use them as a TV room and formal living room. They found a big old country table and put it on one side of the fireplace as a dining area and the sofa and love seat on the other side for a living area. They have an island with stools separating the kitchen from the living area. The former dining room would have been so far from the kitchen it wouldn't have been practical. It was nice at Christmas - we set up the buffet in the great room/kitchen, but people could sit anywhere they wanted to downstairs - if they wanted a private place to go visit, they could go to the living room or TV room. The fireplace in the great room saves on heating, too - they can basically close up the unused upstairs and rest of the house. The master bedroom and bath are downstairs right off the great room, so they only have to use that one section.
In my own house, we have a formal dining room and an eat in kitchen. We hardly ever use the dining room anymore, as it's just DH and myself. All family holiday events and get togethers are now at my daughter's - I've passed the baton. I stay over and help her with all the cooking and cleaning, though.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 08-05-2012 at 01:57 PM..
My kitchen is open to my family room and I like it. We dont entertain. We dont live by family and we have very few friends where we live now. I simply like the rooms to be open to each other for conversation between us family members. I do not like a great room where the whole house is open. I have a formal living room that does get used but not consistently. Its always clean and quiet and I like to go in there to read and so forth. I also like that if someone drops by unannounced the living room is always tidy and people dont see the wreck in the back of the house in the family room and kitchen. What I dont like about open concepts is that I dont want someone seeing my kitchen from the front door. I am mostly a neat freak but kitchens usually have something on the counters or stuff in the sink. I actually looked at a brand new home where you walked into the kitchen from the front door. I didnt like that at all. The idea was that most things you bring in the house go into the kitchen but I didnt care for the idea although it may be true.
I would always vote for open. Our first house now is fairly open: No small doorways unless you're going into a closet or bathroom or bedroom and the kitchen is open to the living room.
However, it does have a formal dining room and a formal living room. After living here for a a couple years, I will never buy another house with a formal living room or formal dining room. Just like our parents' houses, these rooms rarely get used. I would rather absorb them into the main living area. Whenever we buy another house we will definitely get one that is even more open than ours is now and it definitely won't have a separate dining room or a formal living room
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What "kind" of entertaining is that? 
