Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wish my mother would have of done that. After my father passed (she followed 13 months later) My mother had a ton of stuff, and I would always say to her, "Ma, throw this out, you don't need it" anymore, yadda yadda. but, to no avail, she didn't.
Well, she passes, and me and my sister, had to empty the contents of a house that was lived in for 45 years, but more me because I am the man and was able to do heavy lifting, etc. Everything had to go in a dumpster. We didn't want anything at all. It wasn't our stuff, it was hers, it meant something to her, not us. Other than a few trinkets, and fancy glasses that I had always liked, everything went out in a dumpster. Everything.
I think, and this is JMO, at 82, hello? sadly, life is almost over, not to be cruel, but you don't need the crap in the attic that no one ever looks at, or the Christmas decorations that have been stored for the last 23 years in the basement.
All this "stuff" wasn't needed and to me, should have been all thrown out as time was going on.
My Mother, even as orderly as she was, had 2 dressers of folders with all medical papers in it. hello??? you don't need them, your 82, no one is ever going to look at them, throw them out.
The yarn, crafts, crocheting things that you have that you never use anymore, should have of been tossed years ago, and the list goes on and on.
So, I am in total agreement with you, I too, as I get older, throw things out that I do not use. I also would not put my sons in this prediciment or any other family member thru what my mother did to us.
I had to have 3 dumpsters come and get rid of everything, most of which should have of been tossed years ago.
So, OP, seems like you are accumulating tons of things from various people that you really don't even need, unless you find comfort in having other peoples "things" or "stuff" in your home then you keep it, organize it, store it, and then, basically do nothing with it.
I know I wouldn't someone else's crap, an to me, it is all crap, sorry to say. JMO
Shoulda, woulda, coulda. What you are not understanding is that it isn't a matter of need. Stuff is loaded with emotional baggage. The emotional baggage gets in the way of getting rid of it. For many if not most people, just the sight of all their stuff is loaded with memory, intention, dreams, desires, sadness, anger, happy nostalgia, on and on. All those emotions can effectively derail a purge. The things in your mother's house didn't hold any meaning for you so it was easier for you to demand she get rid of it or that she doesn't NEED it.
FWIW, there are parameters listed in this document that I am pretty certain that OP is not following. I was a certified emergency preparedness worker who used FEMA guidelines, so I am quite familiar with the suggested supplies.
But the problem here is limited book shelf space.........and a whole bunch of books.
Where they fit, my books are two deep. If they are at the end of open shelves they lie flat, in a stack. They are on the top of the bookshelves, some with bookends, some in stacks, often alongside green plants.
On a few of the bookshelves I've carved out space from the the outer set of books to create a small space for something I enjoy looking at, such as the fun chameleon watering can for the plants on one shelf, a favorite framed picture and memento, or a small collection of colored glass bottles on another.
Yes, no, I don't know. While I see reasons back and forth it still comes down to that they aren't out there anymore or at least, not as cheap as they once were.
They are out there, just that most of them are plastic or some other cheap material now, you can typically find them listed as utility shelves.
Oh, and I have a short set of utility shelves in the kitchen that I keep my cookbooks and house my small appliances on due to limited cabinet space and no pantry.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda. What you are not understanding is that it isn't a matter of need. Stuff is loaded with emotional baggage. The emotional baggage gets in the way of getting rid of it. For many if not most people, just the sight of all their stuff is loaded with memory, intention, dreams, desires, sadness, anger, happy nostalgia, on and on. All those emotions can effectively derail a purge. The things in your mother's house didn't hold any meaning for you so it was easier for you to demand she get rid of it or that she doesn't NEED it.
I didn't "Demand" that she get rid of her stuff.
I tried to explain to her that at 82, and not in good health, you don't need to save a frying pan (s) wrapped in a plastic bags stored ( I did ask her about that, and we laughed) under the basement stairs anymore that no one uses, or the old metal pushcart that was placed in the attic since 1968 that was never used or needed or ever taken out since it was put there, things like that. Of course I didn't have any emotion to things like that.
The old rectangle table top stored in the basement that was replaced by the newer smaller round table top she was using now. That rectangular one was never going to be used again (and it wasn't).....those were just some examples. My Mother was 82, not in good health, half of what was stored I don't even think she even remembered she had, and if she did ever want to use, say that frying pan for example, it would have of been more trouble to go under the basement stairs to get it and use it when she could have used any other frying pan she had already in the kitchen.
I remember sheets, still in the plastic that had been there since I was a teen, up in the attic getting the Christmas decorations down for her, always wondering, why is she saving them, as they were never opened, and never used.
there cant be any emotional attachment to sheets? I'm sure it was all laziness on her part to go up in the attic and throw things that were never used.
So, I am reading this poster TS, and she seems to have more stuff that anyone can possible want, need or use, and cant imagine why she would even want to be bothered with half of it, since half of it wasn't even hers to begin with, he brother also, seems to have the same thoughts as me.
I can see saving a few things that were her mothers, aunts, etc that had sentimentality to her, but reading her posts, she seems to have everything they ever had and is looking to store them as well.
So, while it sounded like I was being heartless, I was just trying to be logical and helpful for my mother to get rid of un-needed and un-wanted stuff, and, all the things I had liked for her to toss, did in the long run got tossed......
Last edited by nightcrawler; 01-05-2022 at 07:45 AM..
Where they fit, my books are two deep. If they are at the end of open shelves they lie flat, in a stack. They are on the top of the bookshelves, some with bookends, some in stacks, often alongside green plants.
On a few of the bookshelves I've carved out space from the the outer set of books to create a small space for something I enjoy looking at, such as the fun chameleon watering can for the plants on one shelf, a favorite framed picture and memento, or a small collection of colored glass bottles on another.
Mine, the built in wooded shelves, are double stacked, tripled stacked, even quadrupled in some areas. One thing I have done is adjusted the shelves to size to get the maximum use out of it so when, say, it was a steel shelf, I made one unit, out of multiple boxes, entirely for paperbacks, getting something like 7 or so shelves for them.
My steel shelf unit for my DVD/VHS machines is like only 4 holes between each shelf.....and there are something like 8-10 shelves in that shelf unit, connected into the TV via 3 HDMI ports, 2 HDMI multiplexers, and into the single A/V port, two A/V multiplexers linked in series.
Why, I could simulated my own limited cable TV system if I wanted!
As far as carving out a space, well, that is my symbolic magic I've gone for decades, to one extent or another. Sometimes by design, sometimes by Fate......such as Traci Lords face staring at me from the cover of her book, Underneath It All.
They are out there, just that most of them are plastic or some other cheap material now, you can typically find them listed as utility shelves.
Oh, and I have a short set of utility shelves in the kitchen that I keep my cookbooks and house my small appliances on due to limited cabinet space and no pantry.
Than you but I think when my builder introduced me to wood work shelves, I left those other types behind. I think I have enough left of the remaining boxes I bought up.
SIGH......when I think of all those shelves, 7-8 rooms worth, I had to leave behind in Operation: WHIRLWIND.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler
.......So, I am reading this poster TS, and she seems to have more stuff that anyone can possible want, need or use, and cant imagine why she would even want to be bothered with half of it, since half of it wasn't even hers to begin with, he brother also, seems to have the same thoughts as me.
When your ranch is "advertised" as a possible bug out location to family and friends, one may look at life differently.
Quote:
I can see saving a few things that were her mothers, aunts, etc that had sentimentality to her, but reading her posts, she seems to have everything they ever had and is looking to store them as well.
Not quite but process through it as possible, as time permits. I did get rid of a lot of stuff in the move out of the apartments, from exercise bike to crystal, but there is more. As far as store it, not as much as display it.
Some items, however, need to be stored, one way or another. Up in the video library, there are drawers of working copy DVDs made from VHS. They are legal copies......provided the properly bought consumer VHS is kept. Whether to just box them up or use the old storage drawers is a constant issue.
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 01-05-2022 at 10:01 AM..
As far as The Past only wishes to be Remembered.....it's a line from one of the "A Christmas Carol" and I think it is effective if only in......keeping the mind active to avoid dementia. A quote from your prior post.
I could not locate that quote, TS. I doubt it is a Dickens quote.
But to the point, I have been involved with cleaning out two households. I helped with my MIL’s and I frankly resented it, and my mother’s before she went into assisted care. You find all kinds of stuff in drawers, closets, kitchen cabinets. I found my mother’s lost SS card in an old coat pocket. You look in every purse and pocket for forgotten money. You pull everything out of closets and cabinets. You learn secrets. It is not pleasant. I am trying to avoid having my kids and spouses do this.
The things you are burdened with are dragging you down. Your house should not become a mausoleum. Make room for what is useful, and what gives you joy. You long to hang art on your walls. So, figure out what can be donated from your cache, and make room for the thing that gives you joy. You do not owe your parents and grandparents permanent storage of their stuff. How does it benefit you sitting on display there?
Sorry to be so blunt. I just think you might be happier if you were less burdened by so much stuff from the past.
As far as The Past only wishes to be Remembered.....it's a line from one of the "A Christmas Carol" and I think it is effective if only in......keeping the mind active to avoid dementia. A quote from your prior post.
I could not locate that quote, TS. I doubt it is a Dickens quote.
But to the point, I have been involved with cleaning out two households. I helped with my MIL’s and I frankly resented it, and my mother’s before she went into assisted care. You find all kinds of stuff in drawers, closets, kitchen cabinets. I found my mother’s lost SS card in an old coat pocket. You look in every purse and pocket for forgotten money. You pull everything out of closets and cabinets. You learn secrets. It is not pleasant. I am trying to avoid having my kids and spouses do this.
The things you are burdened with are dragging you down. Your house should not become a mausoleum. Make room for what is useful, and what gives you joy. You long to hang art on your walls. So, figure out what can be donated from your cache, and make room for the thing that gives you joy. You do not owe your parents and grandparents permanent storage of their stuff. How does it benefit you sitting on display there?
Sorry to be so blunt. I just think you might be happier if you were less burdened by so much stuff from the past.
Point noted.
This is not a thread about how much stuff is in my house, it is about shelving and what goes on it. Please keep to the topic.
As far as The Past only wishes to be Remembered.....it's a line from one of the "A Christmas Carol" and I think it is effective if only in......keeping the mind active to avoid dementia. A quote from your prior post.
I could not locate that quote, TS. I doubt it is a Dickens quote.
But to the point, I have been involved with cleaning out two households. I helped with my MIL’s and I frankly resented it, and my mother’s before she went into assisted care. You find all kinds of stuff in drawers, closets, kitchen cabinets. I found my mother’s lost SS card in an old coat pocket. You look in every purse and pocket for forgotten money. You pull everything out of closets and cabinets. You learn secrets. It is not pleasant. I am trying to avoid having my kids and spouses do this.
The things you are burdened with are dragging you down. Your house should not become a mausoleum. Make room for what is useful, and what gives you joy. You long to hang art on your walls. So, figure out what can be donated from your cache, and make room for the thing that gives you joy. You do not owe your parents and grandparents permanent storage of their stuff. How does it benefit you sitting on display there?
Sorry to be so blunt. I just think you might be happier if you were less burdened by so much stuff from the past.
I use the bookshelves for pictures doodads and books.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
