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After almost 32 years of marriage I know who the boss is, and it's all her money. I also put the furniture just where she wants it. The garage floor is hard and cold at night, and you will soon realize this.
I can sense the humor in this, but at the same time, this is not the kind of marriage that seems happy, but maybe it is. In this case, it is my money, as she is able to do nothing financially (I am paying for all house projects as well as the wedding and I am not wealthy), but if I talk about that in any way, it gets me labeled as being selfish and having the wrong concerns.
Years ago I read that in a relationship when two people disagree on something you then have to compromise and ask yourselves "who is this more important to?", whatever "it" is. Would it mean more to you or to her? Someone will have to "surrender" and how you come to that decision is, of course, up to the two of you. Maybe the most practical arrangement will win or maybe trying something new will win, but try to do it lovingly. Also, OP, you mentioned some new furniture and to me that is a step in the right direction for making her new home more hers.
Last edited by geebabe; 12-26-2012 at 09:42 AM..
Reason: spelling
It is not about the bed. You are trying to get us to side with you against your bride who is moving into a house you have lived in for years? I would tell her to run as fast as she can away from having anything to do with such a selfish bastard. You are not husband material. Let her do what she wants if you love her and want her as your wife. Otherwise forget about getting married. She is compromising a lot just by moving in.
That's not very nice. I do not appreciate the name calling and will not post on here again if this is the kind of reception I get. First of all, I am not trying to get anyone to side with me, I am just looking for opinions and if I sound biased, it is because I was just presenting my thoughts on things, which could be completely off-base. I think I let way too much personal info slip out on this one because people tend to get judgmental without knowing the full story.
Secondly, by your rational, you are implying I am just supposed to forget about having an opinion on all things and let her make all the decisions because she is moving into a house I live in? What happened to 50-50?
It is not about the bed. You are trying to get us to side with you against your bride who is moving into a house you have lived in for years? I would tell her to run as fast as she can away from having anything to do with such a selfish bastard. You are not husband material. Let her do what she wants if you love her and want her as your wife. Otherwise forget about getting married. She is compromising a lot just by moving in.
I can sense the humor in this, but at the same time, this is not the kind of marriage that seems happy, but maybe it is. In this case, it is my money, as she is able to do nothing financially (I am paying for all house projects as well as the wedding and I am not wealthy), but if I talk about that in any way, it gets me labeled as being selfish and having the wrong concerns.
"I am not happy with the change and she thinks I am making a big deal over nothing"
"We are both pretty stubborn"
"I have always been happy with the way things are and most of the stuff she wants to do involves spending lots of my money."
I am seeing so many red flags here in your posts that I would suggest you seriously consider whether you want to go through with this marriage.
That's not very nice. I do not appreciate the name calling and will not post on here again if this is the kind of reception I get. First of all, I am not trying to get anyone to side with me, I am just looking for opinions and if I sound biased, it is because I was just presenting my thoughts on things, which could be completely off-base. I think I let way too much personal info slip out on this one because people tend to get judgmental without knowing the full story.
Secondly, by your rational, you are implying I am just supposed to forget about having an opinion on all things and let her make all the decisions because she is moving into a house I live in? What happened to 50-50?
I can sense the humor in this, but at the same time, this is not the kind of marriage that seems happy, but maybe it is. In this case, it is my money, as she is able to do nothing financially (I am paying for all house projects as well as the wedding and I am not wealthy), but if I talk about that in any way, it gets me labeled as being selfish and having the wrong concerns.
Yes, it was meant to be a bit humorous. However, marriage is a commitment for life, and I really don't care which direction the bed sits as long as she's in it. Money, and possessions mean nothing unless you have someone to share it with. My professional (retired now at 52) life would not have been what it was without my spouses support. She worked when she could, and stayed home with the kids when they were little. Things aren't hers or mine, they're ours. After 32 years of what do I want for dinner and me saying whatever you make is fine doesn't mean I don't want her to quit asking!
When someone comes into a home of a couple and see what the home looks like do they say, "You two have done a wonderful job decorating?" Most assume that the wife decorated because that is usually how it works. The 50/50 means you take care of the yard and she takes care of the house in most marriages. You are marrying someone but not accepting her as the role most people play in a marriage. Let her do her job and compliment her on it. And if you can't do that with this lady you are cheating her out of her role as your wife. I already feel sorry for her in that you have so little respect for her feelings. You are already telling her that she does not count.
Well, in my marriage (27 yrs) my husband and I have always decorated, arranged, picked paint colors, and done the yard work together. "...you take care of the yard and she takes care of the house" might be the way some folks do it; whatever works for them. I prefer sharing and compromise (see my other post). And get this, we both cook and bake too. And wash the dishes and do the laundry! Oh my!!!
We raised a son who with his wife share all the duties (they both work).
"It's not man's work, it's not woman's work. It's just work and it needs to be done."
~Willie Nelson from a Prairie Home Companion skit
Yes, it was meant to be a bit humorous. However, marriage is a commitment for life, and I really don't care which direction the bed sits as long as she's in it. Money, and possessions mean nothing unless you have someone to share it with. My professional (retired now at 52) life would not have been what it was without my spouses support. She worked when she could, and stayed home with the kids when they were little. Things aren't hers or mine, they're ours. After 32 years of what do I want for dinner and me saying whatever you make is fine doesn't mean I don't want her to quit asking!
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