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I'm one of those guys who isn't even into sports, and don't really have the guys over anymore either. (Heck, after moving for the new job, I barely know anyone well enough to want to invite them over.)
Still, I think it's a natural tendency for women to get all excited about a home and eager to do the interior decorating -- which isn't really "complete" if she's only going to do a couple of rooms. The kids tend to automatically lay claim to their bedrooms as "safe zones" to hang up their posters and organize however they see fit -- so those are given up, right off the bat. That means, the woman interested in decorating is going to try to get a "theme" going throughout the rest of the house.
If a guy wants to have a space that isn't all "feminized" up with his wife's porcelain collectibles, curtains on the windows, decorative pillows and throws on the furniture, etc.? He starts talking about the "man cave" as that area he can make his own, while it still avoids disrupting the design theme going on in the rest of the house. (That's the beauty of the kid's bedroom(s) and the basement... you can just shut the door and hide them from view, as needed.)
It really depends though.... In my case, my wife works full-time like I do, which puts a big damper on any tendencies to sit around the house during the day and get big ideas about redecorating. We pretty much agree on our preferences for furniture. (Well, I have a preference for the big, pillow-y leather couches and recliners for a living room/family room area, and she dislikes those. But all in all, we like contemporary looking things, and agree we'd rather not pay much for any of it while the kids are still in the house -- since they tend to trash up furniture anyway. So IKEA products and glass/metal computer desks fill the bill for us, for now.) As long as we have some kind of designated "home office" area where I can set up a computer system the way I like it, I'm good. Not really feeling a need for a "man cave".
Quote:
Originally Posted by War Beagle
The man cave concept originates with the fact that women basically take over the entire house. Men are relegated to one single room, the garage, a basement or sometimes a shed.
Consequently, there is no such thing as a "woman cave" since they have staked out the whole rest of the structure.
In short, is one room, JUST ONE ROOM, too much to give up to your hubby? That's all he asks... one room.
What is so hard to understand about the idea that a man wants a space to spend some time with his man friends, or his own space to work on or spend time with things he is passionate about? Is that so much to ask for, really???
No, it's not and it's usually a younger couple rather than one that has been married awhile and understands compromise. My husband has the 3-car garage with a large extension for his workshop and when we finished the basement which was 2800 S.F. of unfinished space, we worked on it together, designing what we both wanted and during which he used his workshop to build a lot of what was needed! He wanted large, comfortable leather sofas and chairs, a pool table, a nice size bar and a steam shower in the full bath so he could walk in from outside and get cleaned up before coming upstairs.
My only request was that it not be dark as far as colors went due to limited light coming in from the exterior. We agreed on almost everything although he thinks I went overboard with some of the finishes. It may look like it but with my hunting for bargains on the web, I got what I wanted at rock bottom prices...it's a game for me and one that I like to win.
So, to answer your question, no, it's not too much to ask and far more of my friends feel as I do rather than the young women seen on TV. My pet peeve with HGTV is all these young couples searching for their first home expect to go into a home like the one their parents are currently living in rather than what they lived in as newlyweds. They want it all, their dream home, as their very first home and are not the least bit hesitant to vocalize their demands. One young woman looked at her husband and said, "it looks like you're getting a part time job" and he agreed. That's NOT the way to keep a marriage happy. ---stepping down off my soapbox---- sorry about the rant, got carried away a bit.
most guys dont give a rat ass about decor- like wedding planning we dont care about the flowers, and get hyped up about centerpieces,,,,and all,,but women do... most women.
most men,,appease and avoid any conflict in the house and let the woman have her own way with decor,,
if the man has an escape,,,,,either the garage or basement ...that he can watch a ball game, clean his guns, exercise, woodworking...
have a cold beer with the guys , joke around, without worrying you might offend someone,,or drop a chicken wing on the carpet..
many women tend to nag and sometimes a man needs an escape
The man cave concept originates with the fact that women basically take over the entire house. Men are relegated to one single room, the garage, a basement or sometimes a shed.
Consequently, there is no such thing as a "woman cave" since they have staked out the whole rest of the structure.
And that's just wrong. We're supposed to be a TEAM. Our house was chosen by both of us, and decorated by both of us. I wanted to do a wall of family pictures, like I grew up with. It was what I knew. He didn't like the idea. BUT -- he didn't mind having a wall of old Hollywood autographs that he collects. So that's what we have. I have stuff on the walls, he likes the stuff on the walls.
That also means he gets to put up his Hollywood life casts of old time horror stars, which I wasn't happy about. (They're creepy) But I got to frame and put up my parent's baptismal certificates (they are beautiful things not a simple certificate). He didn't like those. It's called compromise.
We also collect and frame up old movie posters. And I collect old embroidered dresser scarves and luncheon cloths... there's room for everything.
And that's just wrong. We're supposed to be a TEAM. Our house was chosen by both of us, and decorated by both of us. I wanted to do a wall of family pictures, like I grew up with. It was what I knew. He didn't like the idea. BUT -- he didn't mind having a wall of old Hollywood autographs that he collects. So that's what we have. I have stuff on the walls, he likes the stuff on the walls.
That also means he gets to put up his Hollywood life casts of old time horror stars, which I wasn't happy about. (They're creepy) But I got to frame and put up my parent's baptismal certificates (they are beautiful things not a simple certificate). He didn't like those. It's called compromise.
We also collect and frame up old movie posters. And I collect old embroidered dresser scarves and luncheon cloths... there's room for everything.
Compromise...it makes for a happy marriage If only our congressional members would grow up and learn to compromise, too. It's NOT a four letter word!
I keep seeing that people insist on having a "man cave" which apparently is a place where you park the DH or boyfriend in front of the TV and he drinks beer or watches sports.
This disturbs me. First, where is the "woman cave" where I can have my hair done, have my girlfriends over for wine and cheese? Second, are our spouses such a problem that we really need a whole designated space to put them where they won't bother us?
Obviously I am no fan of this concept, so I will put that right out there. I don't get it. Anyone have any insights?
Oh, honey, in most cases pretty much the entire house (maybe excluding the kids' bedrooms) is the woman cave. Let the guys have their retreat.
My hubs has a man cave.... actually a man cabinet, but we jokingly call it the man cave. Basically it's a china cabinet where he keeps his old cameras, inert grenades, grandad's telegraph, gas masks...... you know, man-type stuff. We enjoy spending time together too much to send him off to a separate room.
We have a "woman cave" too, it's called the rest of the house, lol.
I have a friend whose husband watches golf on TV all day long. I mean several TVs showing different golf channels. Would you want to put up with this? Not me. Thankfully, he has a room to himself to do this.
It could be argued that the entire house belongs to, and is controlled by, the woman, so I can see why a man would want some sporty bar room area in his house. No woman wants that stuff in the main part of the house.
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If only our congressional members would grow up and learn to compromise, too. It's NOT a four letter word!
