Houston-related etiquette question (living, plantation, education)

[elnina]

Originally Posted by Sampaguita

What's interesting is that I posed a similar question on one of my mom boards and a British-raised mom said she is still having a hard time getting used to children addressing others as "Miss/Mr 1st Name" because it's considered rude to use an adult's first name.

Yes, it is rude to address ANY adult with the first name ( except of course that person is a close friend, and proper transition from last to first name has been made), Miss/Mr or not. Is also rude to ask any adult, especially women for their age. And is rude for a man to initiate a handshake with men older than him, superiors, or adult women of any age.

[houston-nomad]

Originally Posted by EasilyAmused

Well, some of us require Dr. if it applies. But you're really that sensitive about having your title of education announced/addressed?

Not at all, you missed my point. I certainly don't want kids using it. My point is that since I NEVER use Mrs. LastName, and it doesn't sound to me like my name at all, I don't want kids using that. I would prefer they use my first name, as I said above.

[houstonreadhead]

Originally Posted by Sampaguita

Well, I think it's Houston-related anyway. In California, it seemed that all children called any & all adults by first name unless parents taught them differently. Growing up in NY, all the families I knew taught their children to address adults as Mr/Mrs Last Name. Using Mr/Mrs First Name would have been inappropriate then.

Here, I've noticed that most people up until college graduates address me as Miss First Name.

We're working on good manners with our 2 yr olds right now and have been teaching them to address adults by Mr/Miss/Mrs or by the appropriate aunt/uncle titles.

We are not sure what our children should be addressing college kids. It just dawned on me that if said college kids were teaching our children to swim, I'd have them call the instructors Miss/Mr but what if they are just casual acquaintances?

Is there are norm in Houston? Or is it a cultural and/or family preference?

I was born and raised in Houston. I never addressed any adult by their first name. It was always Mr or Ms Last Name, unless the adult specified another name.

The only people I commonly heard being called Miss First Name were (1) lower elementary school teachers and (2) the boss woman of a housekeeper.

Scott

[westres1]

ITA with above poster....and I am also native Houstonian

[ShelbyGirl1]

Originally Posted by elnina

Yes, it is rude to address ANY adult with the first name ( except of course that person is a close friend, and proper transition from last to first name has been made), Miss/Mr or not. Is also rude to ask any adult, especially women for their age. And is rude when a man to initiate a handshake with older men, superiors, or adult woman of any age.

This is a first for me!

In the Southern States we have lived in, Tx and Louisiana, my kids were always taught to call my friends "Miss First name" unless the adult specified other. Me, being originally from New Jersey and living in Ca. for the most part, asked my area Southern friends what the right etiquette was. Their teachers were a mixture of Mrs/Mr. Last name and Miss/Mr. First Name. Their call.

[cheryjohns]

It is odd to me that often the child correctly and quickly evaluates which adults to call Mrs. First Name and which to call Mrs. Last Name.

I think as long as you instill in them the polite thing is to start at Mrs. Last Name, usually the adult will let them know if they can go less formal.

I have a client, younger than 30, that continually calls me Mrs. Johns. I have given up - they are always going to call me that. Other clients in their twenties call me Cheryl - I am more comfortable with that. On the other hand, I have a client in her 70's that I call Mrs. Last Name - and another one in her 80's I call by her first name (she would be insulted otherwise). So much depends on the individual.

[Sampaguita]

Originally Posted by elnina

...And is rude when a man stick his hand out for a shake to older men, superiors, or adult woman of any age.

In Europe?

I found this: Emily Post

I find it more rude when I get the limp hand shake from anyone - including women. I don't know why but when I get the limp hand shake, it feels simply creepy.

[elnina]

Originally Posted by ShelbyGirl1

This is a first for me!

Yes. I am sorry for the confusion. It was a reply to sampaguita's post.

Originally Posted by Sampaguita

In Europe?

I found this: Emily Post

I find it more rude when I get the limp hand shake from anyone - including women. I don't know why but when I get the limp hand shake, it feels simply creepy.

You're right! A fish-like limp handshake with a sweaty hand, or wimpy hugs

[Elipar]

Originally Posted by elnina

Yes, it is rude to address ANY adult with the first name ( except of course that person is a close friend, and proper transition from last to first name has been made), Miss/Mr or not. Is also rude to ask any adult, especially women for their age. And is rude for a man to initiate a handshake with men older than him, superiors, or adult woman of any age.

Is this a southern thing? I always thought it was rude not to initiate a handshake.

Also, I'm not sure what parts of California everyone has been visiting, but I grew up in southern California, and we addressed adults as Mr./Ms./Mrs. Last Name. I can't recall anyone calling an adult by their first name, unless they were already introduced and were requested by that person to use the familiar name.

[Sampaguita]

Originally Posted by Elipar

Is this a southern thing? I always thought it was rude not to initiate a handshake.

Also, I'm not sure what parts of California everyone has been visiting, but I grew up in southern California, and we addressed adults as Mr./Ms./Mrs. Last Name. I can't recall anyone calling an adult by their first name, unless they were already introduced and were requested by that person to use the familiar name.

I am still wondering about the handshake myself. Elnina - can you please clarify?


I lived in San Diego - all the children we knew (a couple from birth, the rest ages 4-16) called us by first names. I don't recall any of the kids using Mr/Miss/Mrs or parents saying anything about it. I remember taking it upon myself to tell the neighborhood kids to address visiting grandparents by Mr/Mrs. They did it with no hesitation or question so not sure why the parents didn't teach them the same.