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I've been racking my brain for months trying to decide what to do about this dilemma, so I decided to take it to the people. Although a good portion of it is very personal, and no one can make the choice but me, I would still like everyone's input on some of the other factors involved. Here it is: I am newly divorced and an unemployed (but ready to get back to work asap) paralegal, living in Oklahoma. My daughter lives in Houston and has a new baby and is living with the father for now, but doesn't want to stay with him after their lease is up in November. She has just become a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) but she has not yet found a job in Houston and she wants to continue her schooling to eventually obtain an RN degree. I obviously want to be near my new grandson & my daughter and I do like Houston- visiting- but I just can't bring myself to move there. This is mostly due to the weather. I am VERY outdoorsy, love the sunshine and get depressed when it rains, and I like the heat. I have wanted to live in the Phoenix area (Scottsdale or Gilbert) for many years and now is my chance. BUT I want to be near my daughter & grandson. I don't think she would like Phoenix due to the heat, but she can't afford to live in Houston on her own either. Plus, her & the baby moving to Phoenix would take him away from his father, who DEFINITELY wants to remain in his life- he is a very good dad. And, all my family is in Oklahoma, which isn't too far from Houston and all of my daughter's family is in Houston; we would be in Arizona completely alone. I just don't think I would be happy in Houston, but I don't know if we should move so far away from everyone to be in Arizona either- but it's been my dream for so long and now is my chance.Ugh. I've gone around and around in my head with this and can't decide what to do. Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks for listening. P.s.- I've compared crime rates in Scottsdale and Spring, TX (which is where my daughter lives) and Scottsdale and Gilbert have way lower crime than Spring and the Houston area.
Run RUn RUN! Run from Arizona. The hell it is. Horrid, wretched place. I'm from Chicago, lived in Houston for 6 years when my company moved me to Tucson and then to Gilbert, AZ. I fought for 2 and a half years to get back to Houston and I'm finally here. Thank God. If you move your daughter out there she will end up hating you. 120 degrees for 6 mos out of the year is much worse than 100 and humid for 3. But what sets Arizona apart from the rest is the people. THey are horrendous. Rude. Weird. Uneducated. Timid. The job market is trash. If she can't find a job in Houston, she will never find one in Phoenix. May I ask, why has it been your dream to move to Gilbert? Is it because of the mountains? The scenery only lasts so long. And Phoenix is so ungodly hot it makes it near impossible to do anything outside from May-Nov. The first Thanksgiving I was there it was 107 degrees. If you want to be surrounded my drug addicts (notice all the billboard signs for "Housewives on Meth recovery group") and the stupdidest people in the country, move there. But whatever you do, move back before your daughter's child has to go to school. Even the private schools suck. My fellow co-workers, with kids, had to pull them out and home school them. Beware of that place. Good luck.
You should check out other parts of Houston - Katy, Sugar land, Pearland, Clear Lake (particularly Friendswood) may have lower crime rates than what you expect, and the areas may be more to your liking as far as amenities and cultural opportunities. Remember Houston takes up a LOT of space. Houston will be waaayyy less of a culture shock if you are from Oklahoma. If you like the outdoors, there is plenty to do around Houston (you are close to the coast), and you are just 3 hours from the Hill Country. Plus, to me, being close to family kinda trumps it all. I'm from E. Tx so it is just a short 2 hour drive for me, and I can get to see my parents and now great-neices (Wow!). I think the southern part of Ok is about 6 hours from Houston. Not too bad.
May I ask, why has it been your dream to move to Gilbert? Is it because of the mountains?
Mainly it is because of the scenery and I've always been in love with 'the west.' Houston isn't much different than Tulsa, scenery-wise, other than palm trees. I love the sun and the heat and being active outdoors; I am NOT an 'indoor person' at all. Plus it hardly ever rains out there and that's the main thing I know I will hate about Houston. It's too humid here in Oklahoma for me so I know Houston will be awful. Last time I visited my daughter down there I had a migraine for the first 3 days; when she comes up here she gets nose bleeds from the "dry" air. Another thing contributing to the dilemma is that there are more jobs for her there in Houston, but for me there are more in the Phoenix area. Thank you so much for your honest opinion- complete with a very appealing sarcastic sense of humor! May I ask how long you've been back in Houston and if you experienced any crime while living in AZ? If you are from Chicago and you hated the people there, I would probably REALLY have a hard time.
I grew up in Oklahoma. I lived in Arizona for about 3 years - and over 30 in Houston and know it well. I don't know what your desire is based on in dreaming about Arizona, but I think the reality may be far different.
Spring is not one of my favorite parts of Houston. It's fine - I just like other area a lot better. A lot of people live in the area to be close to work, but if you don't work in that area, don't live there. You can't go to one area of Houston and say "so that's what Houston is like".
It's going to be much easier getting a job in the medical field here. I would assume so, also, for paralegals. What's not good is people flocking here with no special skill sets, because they have heard there is low unemployment in Houston. Unemployment is rising here with that group, because of the people coming in.
I am a little confused as to the weather remarks. It's not hot enough here for you? Well, that's a first. We don't have enough sunshine? Another first - LOL. Are you confusing Houston with London?
You might go to Arizona by yourself first and try getting a job. That may burst the bubble, without dragging your daughter there to make it more complicated to leave.
I grew up in Oklahoma. I lived in Arizona for about 3 years - and over 30 in Houston and know it well. I don't know what your desire is based on in dreaming about Arizona, but I think the reality may be far different.
Spring is not one of my favorite parts of Houston. It's fine - I just like other area a lot better. A lot of people live in the area to be close to work, but if you don't work in that area, don't live there. You can't go to one area of Houston and say "so that's what Houston is like".
It's going to be much easier getting a job in the medical field here. I would assume so, also, for paralegals. What's not good is people flocking here with no special skill sets, because they have heard there is low unemployment in Houston. Unemployment is rising here with that group, because of the people coming in.
I am a little confused as to the weather remarks. It's not hot enough here for you? Well, that's a first. We don't have enough sunshine? Another first - LOL. Are you confusing Houston with London?
You might go to Arizona by yourself first and try getting a job. That may burst the bubble, without dragging your daughter there to make it more complicated to leave.
I've been to Arizona many times so I'm not blindly selecting it. But I also know things have changed somewhat out there in the 2 years since I was last there.
As for Houston, it just rains too much there and is too humid. Also, it doesn't seem like people are very outdoorsy and are more 'indoor people.'
Which part of Arizona did you live in and how long has it been since you were there? Did you like it (other than the heat)?
I've been to Arizona many times so I'm not blindly selecting it. But I also know things have changed somewhat out there in the 2 years since I was last there.
As for Houston, it just rains too much there and is too humid. Also, it doesn't seem like people are very outdoorsy and are more 'indoor people.'
Which part of Arizona did you live in and how long has it been since you were there? Did you like it (other than the heat)?
Phoenix for two years - Tucson for one year. People seemed a lot less friendly than in Houston. It's been over 30 years, but I still go frequently, as I have relatives there, and haven't gotten from them that not all that much has changed.
I didn't experience any crime there, but I have been in Houston for a long time without experiencing any crime (knock on wood). A lot depends on where you choose to live. Although crime can certainly happen anywhere, the chances of it lessen dramatically if you live and work in an area that's not "rough". A neighborhood where the majority of homes have burglar bars is not where you want to be, even though it's cheaper.
There's a variety of people here - some indoors people and others outdoorsy.
Last summer it didn't rain enough - we had to be careful to keep our grass green (another thing I like much better in Houston, we have wonderful green grass, not rocks).
Since it's your dream, I still think you ought to give it a go in Arizona, to get it out of your system before you have to wonder what to do about your daughter.
Here's a little quiz to see if you'd fit into the single woman lifestyle in Scottsdale:
1) Do you have breast implants? Yes / No
2) Did you receive a seven figure settlement from your divorce? Yes / No
3) If your friends were coming over to your house for the first time, would you consider asking your neighbor to park their BMW in your driveway to make it look like it was your car?
4) Do you consider Nordstroms to be a "discount store"?
If you answered yes to all of the above questions, congratulations -- you'll fit right in!
Seriously though, it's not too far from the truth -- very superficial. Sure, it's a big city and not 100% of the people are like that, but you'd be shocked to find out just how many are.
To your point about the weather -- do you know what 115 degrees means? You can not do anything outside during the days. Nothing. You have to bring a water bottle to get the mail. No cloud cover. Searing heat. Your car will honestly reach over 150 degrees in the summertime. Sure, it's dry... but so is a hair dryer and an oven. Houston's summers are a walk in the park compared to Phoenix -- you sweat a bit more, but if you're doing outdoors activities you're going to sweat anyways. You won't, however, fall over from heatstroke in Houston.
Gilbert is much different than Scottsdale -- more of a family city, but also more removed from the city amenities. Great place to raise a family.... not sure it's the best place for a single woman though. Another thing you'll have to worry about in Phoenix is the illegal immigrant issues... you can read threads about that and make of it what you will.
Another note though: if it's something you've always wanted to do, you're going to regret it if you don't. I personally did not like the city (which is why my wife and I moved, even though her six brothers and sisters still live there -- we just didn't want to raise our family there), but there are those that do. I'd go give it a shot for a year and if you miss your family too much, move back to Houston, but there's no other way for your to achieve your dream of having lived there other than to do it.
Run RUn RUN! Run from Arizona. The hell it is. Horrid, wretched place. I'm from Chicago, lived in Houston for 6 years when my company moved me to Tucson and then to Gilbert, AZ. I fought for 2 and a half years to get back to Houston and I'm finally here. Thank God. If you move your daughter out there she will end up hating you. 120 degrees for 6 mos out of the year is much worse than 100 and humid for 3. But what sets Arizona apart from the rest is the people. THey are horrendous. Rude. Weird. Uneducated. Timid. The job market is trash. If she can't find a job in Houston, she will never find one in Phoenix. May I ask, why has it been your dream to move to Gilbert? Is it because of the mountains? The scenery only lasts so long. And Phoenix is so ungodly hot it makes it near impossible to do anything outside from May-Nov. The first Thanksgiving I was there it was 107 degrees. If you want to be surrounded my drug addicts (notice all the billboard signs for "Housewives on Meth recovery group") and the stupdidest people in the country, move there. But whatever you do, move back before your daughter's child has to go to school. Even the private schools suck. My fellow co-workers, with kids, had to pull them out and home school them. Beware of that place. Good luck.
Sadly, I agree with this post 100%. The people here in Houston are a much friendlier breed, and that's based on my experience of living in Arizona my whole life up until 5 years ago. I can't imagine it's gotten any better the last several years as racial tension has ruined the area.
As for crime -- I grew up in a nice neighborhood in Mesa and didn't experience much. Cars got broken into occasionally (once every 5 or so years), but that was about it. Closer to the city, my brother-in-law got held up at gunpoint at a gas station near his house (they caught the guy... he was an illegal immigrant). My car got rear ended and the guy drove away (I'm assuming he was also an illegal immigrant... maybe just an @-hole).
Fact is, it's a huge city and there are good parts and bad parts, just like any other city its size.
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Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks for listening. P.s.- I've compared crime rates in Scottsdale and Spring, TX (which is where my daughter lives) and Scottsdale and Gilbert have way lower crime than Spring and the Houston area.
