Just moved to the Huntsville/Madison area. Super nervous and anxious and just want to go home? (Mobile: health insurance, new home)

[Epowers107486]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I really need some advice. I just moved here a little over a week ago. I like the city and the location I live in but I am constantly anxious and nervous. I'm sad all the time and all I can think about is how I want to go back home. I'm only 21 and while I've lived on my own before, I've never been this far from my family. They're all about 300 miles away now and I can't stand the thought of that. I have my boyfriend here with me but other than that I left everything behind and everything is new and different. And I hate it. I can't eat or sleep. I knew it would be weird coming here but I didn't think I would be this bad. I guess my question is this: Is it normal for me to be so anxious? And how log should I give it before I start trying to go home? I know I haven't given it a fair chance yet but how long is long enough? Because how I am now isn't healthy for me and it has to wear off soon or I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I've never had issues with anxiety before but ever since coming here I've had constant anxiety. What do I do to stop it? Someone please help.

[Nlambert]

Yes it is.....

I was in the EXACT same situation. My wife is from here, and I lived 300 miles away just above Mobile. At 20 I left and moved up here to start a life with her. For the longest I was extremely depressed leaving my family behind. I didn't know anyone, didn't know how to get around, etc... To top it off my car broke down not long after and I lost my job with no way to work so I was trapped in 4 walls for a while.

Let me say this... it WILL get better. I despised living here for the longest because of that. Eventually I opened up to it and now couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I used to be really excited to go home to visit and now I'm ready to leave by Sunday to get back to HSV.

It's a great place. After some time you may begin to love it too. Good luck regardless!

[Becky2517]

Of course it's normal...! That being said, you need to change your way of thinking...not eating or sleeping is not good for you and constantly thinking about how you're going to get back home most certainly won't help...at all!
I've been on my own since I was 16 and have traveled the world...literally! Home and family is good, but living your life away from them is what molds you, teaches you about life and helps you become an adult. Life will for always be about change, accepting change and also embracing it - it's what makes us who we are, and broadens our horizons...Huntsville is by no means the alpha and omega of the world...but, it's a great place to live & a stepping stone for bigger and better things - there is SO much to see and do here, embrace it, get out and see it...learn about everything that's here. Hubby and I moved here last spring and it's where we'll live out our life - the really cool thing is we can always drive/fly somewhere else if we feel the need for a little change. I don't know where you moved from, but, you need to give it a chance!
Best of luck to ya!

[Keeper]

I moved to Huntsville when I was 21. I left all of my family behind in Mobile, Al I knew no one either. We had one car so I was often home alone with a baby who was 3 months old.

This was where his job was and I wanted to be with him. NOW.. he hated it in Huntsville especially in the winter. He wanted to quit his job and move back home. I wouldn't let him because I knew he would not be able to get a job there when they had just closed the biggest employer in Mobile.

It took a while but he learned to like living there.

My advise is to look for the good in Huntsville and the area because the bad shows up soon enough. I have lived in many other places and believe me when I tell you that you can not compare one place to another as every place is different. I have seen people get off an airplane and hate that they had moved and wanted to leave. They were stuck for 2 years and hated every day they were there. Surprise.. after they went back to the place they had left, they wanted to move back to where they spent 2 years hating.

Now a days you skype with family and friends. You don't live so very far that you can not visit from time to time. Give it a chance.. It will get better. join groups, take classes, volunteer, find a hobby. You will make friends which makes all the difference in the world.

[LCTMadison]

I think a lot of people feel the way you do, especially at your age. But, like Becky said, at some point you have to spread your wings and embark on your own adventures, and that can be hard at first. Just don't make yourself sick over it.

When I was not much older than you I hopped on a plane with my husband of 2 months and moved to Germany for his job. I was MISERABLE as the farthest I had ever been from my mom and dad was when I was at Auburn, and that was only a couple of hours from them. I could drive home pretty much whenever I wanted but being across the pond was VERY different. I knew NO ONE and my three years of German did not do me much good with the natives. Once I started to get out and became social with other expats and explore the area....I mean, good grief, I was living in EUROPE....things got much better. I embraced the culture and the locals and in the end really enjoyed our time there. In fact, there are times I miss some of our "places"...like the little biergarten we walked to at least a couple of times a week, and the awesome Christmas fests our town held every year.

Like others have said, there is so much here and near here to see and do....try to get out at least once a week and explore some place new. Try to find groups with others who share similar hobbies/interests. North AL is a great place to live and there is usually a lot going on in the area for people with a variety of interests.

[FatTails]

I moved away from home for the first time when I was 18 to go to college. Lived way out west and moved all the way to Florida. Took me about six months to really adapt to my new life. Then I graduated and moved back home for an easy job. A few years passed and I realized at some point in my life I'd have to move to ever progress in my career. I narrowed it down to a couple of places but Huntsville was at the top. I have never regretted moving here. Just like college, it took me about six months to start adjusting. My family is 1600 miles away but I go visit twice a year and that's more than enough for me. I met my wife in my hometown and she goes back three times a year (she's a teacher).

When I first moved here I tried the whole "join a bowling league", "get a hobby", "volunteer" thing. It sort of helped, but time was what I really needed. Now that I've been here a couple of years I'm very happy I made the decision to move. So much opportunity here that you can't get most other places.

As for the anxiety, most health insurance covers counseling visits up to a certain number each year. Shouldn't cost more than a copay if the counselor is in network.

[writerwife]

Playing devil's advocate here....
I 1st moved out and away on my own at 16 (still in school) and eventually moved back in at 18 (not because I was missing anyone), married at 19 and moved away again. Being the oldest in a large family, I wanted out on my own and I did fine. That being said, I do have some grown nieces, older than you are and had some friends that moved away and returned (back when I was younger). They didn't like being away from their family and friends one bit and they've never looked back on their decision to return. People are different, have different needs out of life, different things that stress them, etc. Have you been with this boyfriend very long and what were the reasons for moving (you don't have to tell me but do you have very strong valid reasons to have moved from your family in the first place)? Most people do get over the homesickness and move on and are fine. Some....it's not worth it and they go back. Only you can decide which is best for you and where your happy place is. As the others said, it does take time to get used to a new place, make new friends, etc. so, you could give that chance. Moving to a new place and having to start from scratch, make new friends, can be tough, but it is all subject to change and takes time.
But ultimately, it's your choice as to where you'll be happiest.

[Epowers107486]

Thanks for your posts everyone. I guess it's just nice to know I'm not crazy. I moved from Dothan which is just under 300 miles away. I love in madison now. And I actually really like this area. I don't have to drive more than 5 minutes to get anywhere. I guess my major issue was that I've just been stuck in the house for the last week. But I have a job interview today so I'm hoping that will help a lot. We moved first of all so that I could go to school. I've been accepted into UAH and will start in January. But at the same time. My boyfriend had a really good job opportunity up here. So good that he'll basically pay all the Bills so that I can focus my attention on school. But I need the part time job just so I don't go crazy. So we had to really good reasons to move. And I really do feel like this is where we're supposed to be. But it's just a difficult adjustment.

Thanks for your advice everyone.

[bhamoutlook]

Originally Posted by Epowers107486

Thanks for your posts everyone. I guess it's just nice to know I'm not crazy. I moved from Dothan which is just under 300 miles away. I love in madison now. And I actually really like this area. I don't have to drive more than 5 minutes to get anywhere. I guess my major issue was that I've just been stuck in the house for the last week. But I have a job interview today so I'm hoping that will help a lot. We moved first of all so that I could go to school. I've been accepted into UAH and will start in January. But at the same time. My boyfriend had a really good job opportunity up here. So good that he'll basically pay all the Bills so that I can focus my attention on school. But I need the part time job just so I don't go crazy. So we had to really good reasons to move. And I really do feel like this is where we're supposed to be. But it's just a difficult adjustment.

Thanks for your advice everyone.

I have moved a lot in my life and lived in Dothan at one point as well. I can tell you that the first time you move that far away it is very difficult. If you do it again, it will get a little easier and a little easier the next time.

The best cure for me has always been to just get out of the house and go do something... anything. Learn to enjoy your own company until you meet other people. Go to a cafe, grab some coffee, and read a book. Go dig through thrift stores and see what you can find. Go to the art museum by yourself and just look around. Even if you don't have an appreciation for these things right now, you will grow to love them because of what it meant to you at a difficult time in your life.

If you don't have a lot of money, there are plenty of things you can do for free as well. Go to the Madison County Nature Trail and bring your own food. Have a picnic by yourself and then go for a walk around the lake.

Try these things and I guarantee they will work. You never know who you will meet on your adventures as well.

[cp102]

I hope things are going well for you by now. Just try to do things and you will find the more you get out of the house the better you will feel. Go to the library, they usually have free classes offered on computers, etc its a good way to meet people. Find a local church another way to meet people and feel more involved. Loneliness tends to make you miss back home and want to move back, but once you get involved you will find you like your new home and maybe even love it. I have moved 27 times in my life from the US to overseas and back, etc. I have found the key is to get out of the house, find a place to go, and meet people, get a job and things seem to fall in place.