Is there a single scene in Idaho Falls? (Pocatello, Clark Fork: live in, club)

[joox]

I'm aware of the awkwardness in my question, but please bear with me.

I would like to know if there is a single scene in Idaho Falls for a 30 year old woman with no kids. Are all the good guys about my age already happily married?

My gut feeling is that Idaho Falls may be a good place to meet the man of your dreams if you are in your early twenties, but not in my age. Ouch, that made me feel old. Btw, I'm sorry if I come a cross as prejudiced in this matter, but I do think that people tend to get married much younger in the US, especially in smaller cities, than in Sweden.

Since I decided to accept the job offer and move to Idaho Falls my relationship have rapidly gone south. That's not entirely true since we have lived in different countries for the last 18 months and long distance relationships have a tendency to deteriorate, therefor it might have started before I made this decision. Anyway, I'm trying to explore my options IF my current relationship would end up continue down the path it's currently on, which I really hope it wont.

I guess I'm mainly afraid that I will wake up one day being old(er), single, have no kids, and be very very lonely. And that would be a shame, I'm actually a quite nice person to be around, if I might say so myself.

Thanks for any thoughts,
joox

[Mtn. States Resident]

Originally Posted by joox

I'm aware of the awkwardness in my question, but please bear with me.

I would like to know if there is a single scene in Idaho Falls for a 30 year old woman with no kids. Are all the good guys about my age already happily married?

My gut feeling is that Idaho Falls may be a good place to meet the man of your dreams if you are in your early twenties, but not in my age. Ouch, that made me feel old. Btw, I'm sorry if I come a cross as prejudiced in this matter, but I do think that people tend to get married much younger in the US, especially in smaller cities, than in Sweden.

Since I decided to accept the job offer and move to Idaho Falls my relationship have rapidly gone south. That's not entirely true since we have lived in different countries for the last 18 months and long distance relationships have a tendency to deteriorate, therefor it might have started before I made this decision. Anyway, I'm trying to explore my options IF my current relationship would end up continue down the path it's currently on, which I really hope it wont.

I guess I'm mainly afraid that I will wake up one day being old(er), single, have no kids, and be very very lonely. And that would be a shame, I'm actually a quite nice person to be around, if I might say so myself.

Thanks for any thoughts,
joox

Hi Joox,

Good to hear from you after so long. So you accepted the job. Sorry about your relationship not withstanding what appears to be an important move in your life.

Yes, there is a single life for a female in her 30s in Idaho Falls. I suspect networking to get connected is the bigger problem. When I can think of the url, I'll post it. There is a dedicated website for singles outlining activities and key people as contacts.

I don't know how you feel about the greater life issues, but I'm one believe people tend to be where they need to be. It only takes one "right," person for a relationship. Perhaps there is a reason you felt/believed you needed to accept the job opportunity in Idaho Falls beyond just work. I can't say who you will or won't meet, but I can say if you're not shy and willing to take the first step forward opportunities do exist.

Hope that info helps.

MSR

[joox]

MSR: Thanks for the reply. I must say that I'm positively surprised for some reason. I don't really know what I was expecting.

I also agree with you that life have a tendency to take the turns that we need to take even though it's not always obvious. I do think there is a reason why we have ended up where we are and honestly, if everything had been perfect last fall I probably wouldn't have had applied for the job in the first place.

It's just very scary to take such a big step - and I don't mean the move or the job. I'm actually not worried at all about those things, which I probably should be to some extent. Instead I'm terrified of ending up alone in life. It's a big step to leave a partner and a close friend after almost 8 years together. What if we - too late - realize that there was a way to find our way back?

Apparently, I'm not the only one worrying about my situation. Yesterday a colleague of mine, that I haven't spoken to since Christmas, came in to my office and bluntly - in a very Swedish way - asked me if I really had given my situation a good thought. She informed me that choosing to move to the US and essentially become single will most probably make me end up as a old hag with no kids. Very uplifting I must say.

Please, let med know if you find the url!

/joox

[NW Crow]

I don't know the organization at all but a quick net search found this over 30 singles group in Idaho Falls
Idaho Falls Singles over 30 - Southeast Idaho Singles

(edited) Given your interest in music, I just briefly note this person knows the area's music scene

http://tinyurl.com/257bjzz (broken link)


I am just guessing but giving you possible leads.

[joox]

NM Crow: Thanks for the link to SE Idaho singles. I'll have a look at it.

With regards to the other link, I think you have me confused with someone else. Even though I think that's important to keep an open mind, I have sort of figured that the right person would be a male in his early 30s... But thank you anyway. There is a risk that I misunderstood your intentions with the link, if so I apologies.

/joox

[NW Crow]

All I was thinking in the other link was she is a woman who went thru her 30s in the general area with interest in music and this had some common elements to you and your questions.

I found her newspaper writing on music previously when looking at Pocatello for myself. I just thought that since she is very actively involved in the regional music scene she might have useful information about "the singles scene" or she might just have friends for doing stuff, music-related or not and stretching from that she might know men in their 30s who might be interested in dating.
As I said I was speculating on this but if I was looking for info on the singles scene around there I might try it or even just read her writing for music event listings.

I can see that with the way I originally phrased it, it might seem I was saying or suggesting something different and I can see that getting a myspace link would seem a bit unusual. I would have given a different link but it actually looked like the best one to start with. Sorry for not being specific enough and I apologize if it accidentally seemed too personal or intrusive and to address it I went back and edited the phrasing of that comment. Just thought it might possibly be worth a mention, a more personal alternative to the singles club route. But you can probably find folks directly in Idaho Falls to network with, as you feel comfortable.

[joox]

NW Crow: That makes so much more sense. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Sometimes the language barrier makes it a bit hard for me to understand the underlying meaning of a phrase - especially if I'm reading it in the middle of the night.

Thank you once again for both giving me the link and for taking the time to explain why you posted it.

/joox

[NW Crow]

The fault was mainly in my phrasing. I probably should have taken more time to say it better, but I was in a hurry.

You are welcome and thanks to you as well for bringing the interpretation issue to my attention tactfully and accepting my clarification in a friendly manner.

[Clark Fork Fantast]

Originally Posted by joox

Apparently, I'm not the only one worrying about my situation. Yesterday a colleague of mine, that I haven't spoken to since Christmas, came in to my office and bluntly - in a very Swedish way - asked me if I really had given my situation a good thought. She informed me that choosing to move to the US and essentially become single will most probably make me end up as a old hag with no kids. Very uplifting I must say.
/joox

Joox, you just have the emigration jitters! Your gut feeling tells you you're doing the right thing, am I right? Trust that feeling. Besides, you're going to take up residence in the land of Western outdoorsmen! I'd give chance a chance before joining any Singles clubs. Just throw yourself into activities offered--you love horses and horseback riding, right? So find a place where they teach Western riding, and add that style to your present great riding skills, and get out there and ride Western saddle! Find out where people get together who share your other interests, and join them. And let chance take over. Americans are far more gregarious than Swedes, as you probably know.

And, without knowing your colleague, let me suggest something (having been in your situation, and heard all kinds of advice): It may well be that your colleague isn't worrying all that much about you, but about herself. You are showing the kind of courage and get-up-and-go that is a bit of a shock to people who are set in their ways--their comfort level feels threatened, because somewhere deep down they ask themselves if they could/should have done the same thing. She may, deep down, wish that she had the courage to do what you're about to, and so she makes sure to put a drop of poison in your ear, so you won't be so enthusiastic. I may be judging her unfairly, but believe me, I heard the same thing lots of times back in the day, and it was only rarely spoken with a true concern for my future. So forge ahead, embark on the great adventure, and trust your instinct. Believe me, 30 is the perfect age to make such a move!!!

[joox]

Clark Fork Fantast: I think you're absolutely right. Much of the reactions I get are based on people's own uncertainty. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it's hard not to.

When I was preparing to go to Albuquerque last fall I had to deal with my fellow coworkers jealousy which was expressed in a slightly different way. That was more of a mean-spirited jealousy where people more or less hoped that I either would be extremely miserable during the fall or that something bad would happen to me that would force me to stay home. This kind of jealousy or uncertainty is much easier to handle since it's more straight forward. The kind I'm facing now is much more subtle (except for one particular coworker) and it sort of sneaks up on me and catches me by surprise.

I'm quite sure I made the right decision and I'm looking forward to make new friends in Idaho. I also know from previous experience that I usually don't find it too hard to become friends with Americans. I'm just as gregarious as you are.

When it comes to me wondering about the chance to meet Mr Right in Idaho Falls, it basically comes down to my own prejudices. I'm trying to fight it, but it keeps surfacing without me remembering to censor it. I guess I based my concern on the fact that the few Mormons I know married young and are now ten years later still happily married and have a whole bunch of kids. I should know better than not generalize the whole population of a city based on three couples that doesn't even live in the city. I would probably been better of making the generalization based on all the other Americans I know. It wouldn't be funfair to say that this was not the brightest moments in my history as a City-Data poster. But spite the gross religious generalization, my underlaying concern persist.

But your reply made me feel hopeful. Of course I will find friends, and if I have a few really good friends I will do fine - with or without a Mr Right.

/joox