California Humor

[IdahoDreamin]

Originally Posted by mtngirlatheart

Well, we're not coming from CA, we're coming from across the country actually (PA!), but I still wanted to chime in because:

a) I thought these were funny
b) I too can't wait to get out of here and take my 2 year old daughter to be where she can grow up and experience life as we did growing up

and most importantly
c) I'll buy the second round. and third. and fourth.

Aw hell, just come on over to our place and we can all sip out of our kegerator.

Sounds good to me! A little football and a kegerator = good times!

[Miborn]

Originally Posted by DESERTRYDER

I borrowed this from a motorcycle web site that I belong to.
Thanks to my buddy Gleno from reminding me of where I now live.

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am in Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one

Ha soooooooo true!

[mkfarnam]

Originally Posted by Miborn

Ha soooooooo true!

This is circulating the internet. It's been emailed to me about 3 times from different friends.

[SandyCo]

I just discovered this thread!

Here is one of my favorite attorney/witness exchanges, from an excellent book called "Anguished English" by Richard Lederer.

Attorney #1: "When he went, had you gone, and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station."

Attorney #2: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

Amazon.com: Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language (9780440203520): Richard Lederer: Books