Help, an ET in Idaho! (Boise, Eagle: fit in, transplants, low crime)

[fabforever]

Hello Everyone,

I am originally from London, England. My husband and I have been living in Idaho for 5 years now. He is American and works for Micron. The problem is that even after 5 years living in Boise, I still feel very out of place here. It is like I am an ET, always trying to fit in, but unable to do so.
I miss cultural activities, history and the busy city life – something Boise seriously lacks. I find it very hard to make friends over here because I am extremely open minded and I always end up having to conform to the way people think and act just to fit in somehow. Also, the lack of other cultures and races is a big issue for me, I grew up in central London with friends from all over the world and I miss that miscegenation of races and ‘colors’. I am also highly educated and even at work, I feel as if people have a very narrow view of the world and of how things work outside of this state.
All of this is really starting to make me feel like Idaho is definitely not the place for me and it is also putting a toll on our married life. We are even thinking of moving to a bigger place, so that I feel more at home. However before we decide on moving and giving up on the life we have built here; is there any advice you can give me? Are there any other foreigners living in Idaho? How did you manage to adapt? Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you for all your answers.

Ps – Don’t take me wrong, I am not complaining about Idaho or the people that live here. This is about ME and how I feel living in Idaho. Nothing more. So please no posts telling me to go back home and etc. I am just looking for ways to feel more at home around here.

[HDL]

Hi fabforever

I understand where you are coming from and I am not here to BASH you . Saying that the people you work with have a 'narrow view of the world' does sound slighty condescending, but you are probably right about them .

I came from CA and ID does seem to be behind the times in many ways. I have traveled the world and lived near big cities, so I can see how Boise would be difficult for those that like that sort of life. It is NOT very diverse here, a fact which many people like because of all the 'illegal immigration' stuff happening all over the country. I prefer diversity, but also love how safe and peaceful it feels here.

I have to weigh the pros and cons for my own self and feel Boise has too many pros to let some of the things you state above make me move. But it sounds to me that you would be better off moving. Just get on this forum and ask a bunch of questions about VA and read past threads and comments. In VA (where I grew up) you are not land locked like Boise, being so far from larger cities and all their activities.

Is there a chance your husband could get a transfer with Micron to CA? It is very expensive in CA, but it has all the diversity and culture you are looking for. Maybe your family could take a drive down there for a couple of days to check it out. It is approx 11-13 hrs away by car. Best wishes to you and your family!

[pimit2]

Dear fabforever,

I have visited your hometown of London on three occasions for a total of 5 days. Loved it - as a place to visit - but I couldn't live there. And, to compare it to Boise, Idaho is, as we say, apples and oranges.

Here's what the online encyclopedia wikipedia.org says about London, England;

An important settlement for around two millennia, London is today one of the world's leading business, financial and cultural centres, and its influence in politics, education, entertainment, media, fashion and the arts all contribute to its status as one of the major global cities.

London's population is more than 7 million.....

About Idaho, wikipedia.org says:

Idaho is a state in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States. The state's capital and largest city is Boise. Residents are called "Idahoans." Idaho was admitted to the Union on July 3, 1890, as the 43rd state.....Idaho had an estimated population of 1,393,262.

I understand your difficulty, and I am sorry adaptation is not easy. I live in the Idaho Panhandle in the woods 10 miles from the nearest store. It would be hard for me to adapt to life in Boise, too.....way too BIG and BUSY!

You ask for advice in your post. I can only recommend bearing up and going with the flow. Do the best you can.

Best regards and wishes,

Bob (pimit2)

[fabforever]

Thank you for your responses. We are considering moving to VA, I actually have a few friends that live there and we are looking into relocating within the next 2 years! I think it will be better for me to be closer to a bigger city with more diversity. Thanks again, Fab.

[burdell]

Originally Posted by fabforever

Thank you for your responses. We are considering moving to VA, I actually have a few friends that live there and we are looking into relocating within the next 2 years! I think it will be better for me to be closer to a bigger city with more diversity. Thanks again, Fab.

I'm curious if you think some of your feelings might be just from moving to the US in general?, it must be quite a radical change.

I ask because I grew up in the NYC metro area and Boise is high on my list of possible relocation areas, I've visited and liked the area but do question how much I'd miss the diversity of where I am.

[HDL]

I have friends of various ethnicities and thought that I would really miss that wherever I moved to, but it really hasn't turned out to be that 'big' a factor in the larger scheme of things . I think if I hated quite a few things about Boise, then I would throw that comment in also (i.e. the lack of diversity), but on the bigger 'scale' of things for me, it just doesn't weigh that strongly right now.

So, if it's a diversity of people you think you will miss, than moving to Boise may not be the right choice for you . Though we do have different ethnicities moving here all the time, once they find out how nice it really is .

But if it's food diversity (which many people have mentioned in various threads), sometimes you have to determine how big a factor food should play in your life . I think missing the diversity of people is way more important than missing the food or restaurants from wherever you have moved from, but some people will not agree with me (JMHO as always though ).

And many times I hear comments about conservative versus liberal and I really have to laugh because it seems to me that I am the only conservative in my culdesac of 9 families . So if the "diversity" you think you'll miss is liberal thinking vs conservative thinking, I believe that you'll find we have a mixture of viewpoints here (possibly because of all the new transplants )!

Best wishes as everyone searches for their own "Paradise on Earth" !!!

Originally Posted by burdell

I'm curious if you think some of your feelings might be just from moving to the US in general?, it must be quite a radical change.

I ask because I grew up in the NYC metro area and Boise is high on my list of possible relocation areas, I've visited and liked the area but do question how much I'd miss the diversity of where I am.

[notaperfectplace]

Fabforever I understand. My wife and I moved here 3 years ago thinking we had found the paradise not yet discovered by the rest of the world. We had lived in the Denver area for almost 7 years and were looking for something similiar but smaller. We looked over data in various books and websites and thought --- this is it. After 4 months of living here, I realized that we had made a big, big mistake.

Now don't get me wrong. Boise is a fabulous city. It has taken me awhile to understand this place. Boise has low crime. Proximity to wilderness, without alot of people, is literally within a few miles of downtown. Take a trip to Ketchum or Stanley and you realize that there aren't many places left like this in the lower 48. House prices are low (property taxes are not) compared to cities of similiar stature.

My thoughts on why I find Boise "lacking" is that it has a suburban mentality. Whether you are in Eagle, the North End, West Boise, even downtown --- everything feels the same. But that is ok, many people love the suburbs. In fact, if you ask most Americans, they prefer the suburbs. My wife and I live 2 miles from downtown Boise and it is no different from Highlands Ranch, Colorado (the epitome of the suburbs of Denver) except that the traffic is better here.

There are many changes happening in Boise. In 10 years, Boise is going to probably structure itself in a way that there will be more diversity (I don't mean ethnic) within it's neighborhoods. The downtown is becoming more vibrant with restruarants, music venues, and retail. The problem is ... I don't want to wait 10 years to get out of the suburban feel. Many that love Boise today will probably hate Boise in 10 years.

With the influx of people from other states, change is inevitable. The suburban mentality of Boise will stand strong, but eventually, it will change.

I just don't want to wait 10 years.

Fab, check out the west coast cities of Bend, Portland, Boulder, Austin...these are cities that sound like you. They have many (not all) of the attributes of Boise yet are quite different. Housing is expensive in all of these cities because you get more than you would expect from cities of their size.

[kukla1]

I think it's interesting to hear that people miss diverse ethnicities...as if some one's ethinicity makes them somehow more intretesting than a so-called "non-ethnic" person. I think people are people, and some are intersting and some are not. Hopefully, no one looks at me and my "non-ethnic" appearance and immediately classifies me as "non-interesting." Perhaps if we truly looked beyond what we see on the surface, and stopped making assumptions based on appearance, we might find each other a lot more, well, interesting.

And by-the-bye, it sounds like you'd LOVE San Francisco! It's a pretty city, there's much culture there, and more diversity and ethnicities than you can shake a stick at.

[notaperfectplace]

i don't miss diverse ethnicities....i miss diversity in general when it comes to Boise. it really doesn't matter if you are black, red, green (unless you are a martian), white

kukla...your right about san francisco

[fabforever]

Thank you for all the replies! What I think Boise, lacks is not only diversity but things to do. There are no good theaters, concerts, art exhibits, orchestras, museums and etc. Every show, exhibit or concert usually skips Idaho - although lately we have been getting some of them. The little there is never changes, so once you've been there, you have seen it all. Even the fun festivals like the Boise River Festival has ended. I see little effort in bringing more cultural activities to the city. A lot of the things kids in other states learn by seeing, our kids learn by reading about it – believe me, I know, I teach here.

As far as diversity, I am not saying people are shallow or plain, I am saying that Boise has no African Americans and very little of other ethnicities, just look around!
My 3 year old daughter saw a black man on the street the other day and she asked if he was the presenter of the ‘Reading Rainbow’ – a children’s show on PBSkids. I thought it was sad that this presenter on TV is the only black person she sees on a daily basis. For me, it is important that my kids grow up with different cultures and races; I think it only enriches their lives.

Also, for someone who loves the arts, it is a very difficult place to live. However for those that love hiking, biking and camping - yes, Idaho is paradise. Like ‘notaperfectplace’ said, it is improving, but much like him, I don’t think I will be able to wait another 10-20 years to feel like I fit here. But thank you for all of your suggestions, we have definitely decided to move, we are now looking into different states.

Don’t get me wrong, we had two beautiful daughters here and this state has helped both my husband and I with our careers, but I think it is time to move on.

Thanks again, Fab