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Old 09-24-2010, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,675,997 times
Reputation: 11316

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I'm not on FB and will not be because of who I am ~ and no, I am not important OR paranoid. Am just a private person and want to stay that way.

But I have a question which perhaps one you very knowledgeable persons could answer.

A friend has just sent me an invitation to join her on Facebook. I'm thinking she did it while she was on Facebook, because there are ads, etc. which rather indicate this.

But here's what creeps me out: after her message ~ I'm guessing she wrote it ~ there is a list of people and their names who are also on Facebook and I know all of these people, but she does not! How can this happen, that the Facebook software would know that I know them?

I actually received two invitations from her and I thought it was a duplicate somehow, but noticed it was sent to a secondary email address which I have......when I scrolled down in the second email, there was a different list of people. Again, I know them all.

You'll probably say I'm impossible naive about identities on the web, and security and anonymity but as I said, this is really bothering me. Can anyone enlighten me?
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Old 09-24-2010, 12:58 PM
 
5,702 posts, read 16,473,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macrina View Post
I'm not on FB and will not be because of who I am ~ and no, I am not important OR paranoid. Am just a private person and want to stay that way.

But I have a question which perhaps one you very knowledgeable persons could answer.

A friend has just sent me an invitation to join her on Facebook. I'm thinking she did it while she was on Facebook, because there are ads, etc. which rather indicate this.

But here's what creeps me out: after her message ~ I'm guessing she wrote it ~ there is a list of people and their names who are also on Facebook and I know all of these people, but she does not! How can this happen, that the Facebook software would know that I know them?

I actually received two invitations from her and I thought it was a duplicate somehow, but noticed it was sent to a secondary email address which I have......when I scrolled down in the second email, there was a different list of people. Again, I know them all.

You'll probably say I'm impossible naive about identities on the web, and security and anonymity but as I said, this is really bothering me. Can anyone enlighten me?
These people you know, are they in your email address book?
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,675,997 times
Reputation: 11316
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
These people you know, are they in your email address book?
Some are and some are not.
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:10 PM
 
5,702 posts, read 16,473,960 times
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hmmm...I am unsure then. I know facebook has that "let us invade your email address book for you" thingy which is what your friend did. I thought maybe that cookie or invader whatever it is, picked through your address book and matched it to people with accounts.

I think facebook is evil. I have an account and constantly think about deleting it. It is such a liability to have an account anymore. So much can be linked like news websites and so forth. I didnt think this was a problem until the local news started putting people's comments up on the screen like..."Suzie Miller says..." Or maybe you just gripe about your job and some friend of a friend works at the same place decides narking on you will be a great career move.

You are smart not to have an account.

Last edited by fallingwater; 09-24-2010 at 01:11 PM.. Reason: extra word
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:26 PM
 
Location: The Southern Sac's, NM
1,872 posts, read 2,992,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macrina View Post
But here's what creeps me out: after her message ~ I'm guessing she wrote it ~ there is a list of people and their names who are also on Facebook and I know all of these people, but she does not! How can this happen, that the Facebook software would know that I know them?
Facebook is probably suggesting people from her hometown (same as yours?) and high school (same as yours?) and suggesting them to you. So she may not actually know the same people as you, but if these people have Facebook profiles, FB will list them for you, assuming you travel in the same circles, and guessing that you may know them.

Yeah. Pretty creepy.
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,675,997 times
Reputation: 11316
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
hmmm...I am unsure then. I know facebook has that "let us invade your email address book for you" thingy which is what your friend did. I thought maybe that cookie or invader whatever it is, picked through your address book and matched it to people with accounts.

I think facebook is evil. I have an account and constantly think about deleting it. It is such a liability to have an account anymore. So much can be linked like news websites and so forth. I didnt think this was a problem until the local news started putting people's comments up on the screen like..."Suzie Miller says..." Or maybe you just gripe about your job and some friend of a friend works at the same place decides narking on you will be a great career move.

You are smart not to have an account.
Thank you for responding to my questions! I agree, Facebook is evil.

You said, "I thought maybe that cookie or invader whatever it is, picked through your address book and matched it to people with accounts." That's totally scary!

And actually I don't know how that's possible because I have an iMac and have the security settings set quite high so I don't see how some bot thing could get past the system parameters and into my email, even though it's the old stand-alone priceless gem called Eudora.

On the other hand, what you suggested sounds the most feasible. Yikes. Any ideas on how I can find out for certain? For sure, I'm not going near Facebook.

I may have to contact my friend yet I really don't want to say anything as I have an idea she'd be touchy about it.
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,675,997 times
Reputation: 11316
Quote:
Originally Posted by egglady View Post
Facebook is probably suggesting people from her hometown (same as yours?) and high school (same as yours?) and suggesting them to you. So she may not actually know the same people as you, but if these people have Facebook profiles, FB will list them for you, assuming you travel in the same circles, and guessing that you may know them.

Yeah. Pretty creepy.
Same hometown? No.

Same high school? No.

And for certain, she knows none of the people whose names AND photos were attached in those emails!!

I despise this. And now having to somehow deal with it. What to do, and how to do it. It's an invasion of privacy and I really don't have the extra time to sort it all out, yet I feel I have to.

I'd love to protest to Facebook but as I said above, I don't want to go near it.
I'm aware there's a whole category of folks who would not be bothered about it at all: I am not one of these.

By the way, thanks to you also for responding. The more I think about this issue, the more complicated it seems. :smacks own face:

Last edited by Macrina; 09-24-2010 at 02:12 PM..
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:10 PM
 
26,158 posts, read 15,735,305 times
Reputation: 17235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macrina
Thank you for responding to my questions! I agree, Facebook is evil.
Facebook is the worst of them all!!

I doubt your friend sent you an invite.. FACEBOOK PROBABLY AUTOMATICLY DID!! (Just delete it )
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,675,997 times
Reputation: 11316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dude111 View Post
Facebook is the worst of them all!!

I doubt your friend sent you an invite.. FACEBOOK PROBABLY AUTOMATICLY DID!! (Just delete it )
Seriously?
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Old 09-25-2010, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Neither here nor there
14,810 posts, read 14,195,524 times
Reputation: 32950
Have you contacted your friend and asked her if she sent you the Facebook invitation? That's where I would start.
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