The insane part of the trip down (Jacksonville: movers, live)

[radioclown]

Folks, my wife and I had a great trip down to Florida, but of course we had an issue in South Carolina.

Our cat is a serious pot head. Sophie has been known to light up a few and hang out on street corners looking for a dealer who will get her hooked up cheap. At last count, she has been arrested six times and we are in the process of running from the law; that is the real reason we are here.

I digress, South Carolina was not fun. I was going about 85 down I-95 and the State Police pulled up behind me with lights flashing. I was thinking that I could worm my way out of a ticket, despite having Yankee plates, but then it happened........Sophie picked just that time to light up a doobie.

The smell was bad as she had to pick up weed while the movers were there and she wasn't too picky about what she bought, just as long as it got her through the trip. While we were frantically getting a fire extinguisher and Lysol, the cop came to the window and we knew there would be trouble. The officer asked for license and registration and then took a big whiff.........He smelled the weed.

What happened next is typical of the cat but we thought she was too stoned to pull her usual antics. While the cop was calling in backup, she started sharpening her claws and we knew we were doomed. When the cop came back to the car, he asked us to get out of the car and told the cat to put down the bong and come out with her paws up. That is when chaos ensued.

When the dog came over to inspect the cat, she went insane. In her stoned out of her skull state, she attacked the dog and it wasn't a fair fight as the cat killed this MASSIVE pup with about 20 slashes to the face and throat. When the cop reached for the taser, she hissed and then with dog drool on her face LAUNCHED herself at the cop. One dart nailed her, but it didn't do a thing and the cop was kitty litter. POOF!! GONE!! Thinking he was bacon, she started drooling but then realized he didn't have any good meat on him and motioned us back into the car. Right at that time backup arrived with, and get this one.....An attack Gator!!!!

"Boots" the gator didn't have a chance. While my wife and I were sitting back laughing, she didn't go in for the kill, she simply lit up the bong and offered Boots a hit. Boots was totally surprised and reached for the bong and that is when Sophie went in for the kill. While Boots had the bong in his claws, she did a major ninja move and turned boots into what I am wearing now.........Boots.

Basically, we are wanted in South Carolina and she is now being smart and hiding underneath the bed. Don't mess with Sophie when she wants drugs and you don't know me.

[lyzzy jayne]

was very nice to meet u last nite??!! No, all kidding aside,it really was....See u again soon

[radioclown]

Originally Posted by lyzzy jayne

was very nice to meet u last nite??!! No, all kidding aside,it really was....See u again soon

The pleasure was all mine, I had a great time last night.

[mawipafl]

Ok, without a doubt radioclown, you have to get your own show ... if you write copy like that, what an absolute hoot your show would be, and it would certainly be a favorite on the dial. Probably before your time, but do you remember Larry Glick on WBZ 1030? You could be the next!

[mawipafl]

By the way, I was following you - a few days behind you - but I saw the path of destruction through SC and wondered about it ... now I know.

[ShakenStirred]

I dont' know this for sure, but I think what makes this so funny is that anyone who has been through SC understands the little bit (or in some cases maybe a lot) of truth behind the story. You must've had some experience in SC radioclown, similar to ones I experienced. You should have seen my last ticket there. Who knew a mini van could go that fast??

Originally Posted by radioclown

Folks, my wife and I had a great trip down to Florida, but of course we had an issue in South Carolina.

Our cat is a serious pot head. Sophie has been known to light up a few and hang out on street corners looking for a dealer who will get her hooked up cheap. At last count, she has been arrested six times and we are in the process of running from the law; that is the real reason we are here.

I digress, South Carolina was not fun. I was going about 85 down I-95 and the State Police pulled up behind me with lights flashing. I was thinking that I could worm my way out of a ticket, despite having Yankee plates, but then it happened........Sophie picked just that time to light up a doobie.

The smell was bad as she had to pick up weed while the movers were there and she wasn't too picky about what she bought, just as long as it got her through the trip. While we were frantically getting a fire extinguisher and Lysol, the cop came to the window and we knew there would be trouble. The officer asked for license and registration and then took a big whiff.........He smelled the weed.

What happened next is typical of the cat but we thought she was too stoned to pull her usual antics. While the cop was calling in backup, she started sharpening her claws and we knew we were doomed. When the cop came back to the car, he asked us to get out of the car and told the cat to put down the bong and come out with her paws up. That is when chaos ensued.

When the dog came over to inspect the cat, she went insane. In her stoned out of her skull state, she attacked the dog and it wasn't a fair fight as the cat killed this MASSIVE pup with about 20 slashes to the face and throat. When the cop reached for the taser, she hissed and then with dog drool on her face LAUNCHED herself at the cop. One dart nailed her, but it didn't do a thing and the cop was kitty litter. POOF!! GONE!! Thinking he was bacon, she started drooling but then realized he didn't have any good meat on him and motioned us back into the car. Right at that time backup arrived with, and get this one.....An attack Gator!!!!

"Boots" the gator didn't have a chance. While my wife and I were sitting back laughing, she didn't go in for the kill, she simply lit up the bong and offered Boots a hit. Boots was totally surprised and reached for the bong and that is when Sophie went in for the kill. While Boots had the bong in his claws, she did a major ninja move and turned boots into what I am wearing now.........Boots.

Basically, we are wanted in South Carolina and she is now being smart and hiding underneath the bed. Don't mess with Sophie when she wants drugs and you don't know me.

[riveree]

Well KittyCat, welcome to the I95 drug gateway of Florida, Jville !

A KittyCat can get in a lot of trouble around these parts, so watch out !

As a Cat, know that you're in the subtropics now, and you have a lot more options. Licking toads is a popular choice, as is eating lizards and crickets (though the latter is a sober event, it's for crunch effect only ).

But really, I recommend for Cats to consider getting a natural high. Have you considered taking up surfing? Lots of Cats like to pick up a tiny surfboard and hit the waves out at the beaches . Just watch out for those Water Dogs (sharks) .

Kayaking is also popular with Cats, just avoid alligator mating season, since, y'know, you're snack-size .

Also watch for those streetsmart Feral Cats, plenty of them around this town. With the warm weather, they live outdoors here like they don't do up North . You don't know scrapping 'til you scrap with a Southern Feral !

[CBB]

Originally Posted by riveree

Have you considered taking up surfing? Lots of Cats like to pick up a tiny surfboard and hit the waves out at the beaches .

Be careful - these cats may all get arrested! Here's why:

http://foto.arcor-online.net/palb/alben/41/1063141/1600_6435326266363635.jpg (broken link)

[radioclown]

Originally Posted by riveree

Well KittyCat, welcome to the I95 drug gateway of Florida, Jville !

A KittyCat can get in a lot of trouble around these parts, so watch out !

As a Cat, know that you're in the subtropics now, and you have a lot more options. Licking toads is a popular choice, as is eating lizards and crickets (though the latter is a sober event, it's for crunch effect only ).

But really, I recommend for Cats to consider getting a natural high. Have you considered taking up surfing? Lots of Cats like to pick up a tiny surfboard and hit the waves out at the beaches . Just watch out for those Water Dogs (sharks) .

Kayaking is also popular with Cats, just avoid alligator mating season, since, y'know, you're snack-size .

Also watch for those streetsmart Feral Cats, plenty of them around this town. With the warm weather, they live outdoors here like they don't do up North . You don't know scrapping 'til you scrap with a Southern Feral !

Sophie is now grounded for a month and under 24 hour guard. She is being guarded by an attack lizard, an attack iguana, and a great big HONKING spider. For some reason she is afraid of all three, so this and the alarm system may actually work.

Yes, I make all this stuff up off the top of my head. For any radio stations out there, I do this stuff in my sleep...........SELF PROMOTION TIME!!!

[cellson]

Radioclown...you need to contact Improv Jacksonville...and I happen to know that a couple of their members are in radio!