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Old 07-14-2014, 10:13 PM
 
309 posts, read 515,929 times
Reputation: 1100

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Show gratitude by:
* cooking for grandma
* cleaning her house
* tending her yard
* verbally appreciating her help
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:28 AM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,326,193 times
Reputation: 26025
"She's controlling and likes things a certain way" and you're laid back?

First, it's her house so we all like things a certain way in our own homes. Does laid back mean you're a slob and don't contribute to household tasks and chores? BTDT Show some appreciation. Clean the house, mow the lawn, do the dishes and laundry... spend more time doing that then "the hiring process" of surfing the net.

It would be nice to be able to use Grandma as a job reference and she wouldn't have to fib about what a hard worker you are.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:47 AM
 
Location: Ashburn, VA
2,794 posts, read 2,934,041 times
Reputation: 4914
I wasn't able to find the "ideal" career job right out of college. I ended up getting a $12/hr job at a collections firm doing accounting work, AP/AR, and even had to verify checking acct./credit card information over the phone from debtors which all was a grind. Did it for 2 years before finding career work.

Bottom-line... you do what you have to do in order to get out of your situation. I don't doubt that you're extremely thankful that your grandmother has given you a roof under your head, but you should be doing whatever you possibly can to earn a few bucks, even if it isn't solid work.



Quote:
The problem is that we do not get along. She is controlling and likes things a certain way. I am laid back and non-confrontational. We just don't live well together and that's why I'm trying to move out asap.

This isn't hard to figure out.... I'm going to guess your grandmother is in her 70s? No matter her age... she's lived a lot longer, was used to a daily routine before you arrived, and as much as she deep down wants nothing for the best for you... SHE WANTS HER LIFE BACK! You seem to be fishing for pity and you won't get that from her or from most of us here at CD. Have many of us been in a similar situation... sure... I have... but you do everything in your power to get out of it and become independent.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:48 AM
 
1,148 posts, read 1,683,410 times
Reputation: 1327
OP: Could you work multiple jobs and move out? Like let's say you find one $10 an hour job at 40 hours a week and one minimum wage job at 20 hours a week.

It is tough to find a $12 an hour job even with a Bachelor's degree in some parts of the country. I know where I live in Indiana, I would have been looking forever for a $12 an hour job. I am working for $10 an hour and looking to move out of this town. I did manage to move out on my own by finding a cheap apartment in a not-so-great complex. You gotta do what you gotta do. I would much rather live in a cheap, crappy apartment than with parents.
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Old 07-15-2014, 07:42 AM
 
912 posts, read 1,525,325 times
Reputation: 2295
This might sound silly, but have you had "practice interviews" with a brutally honest friend? With a city as large as Houston (and a fairly healthy job market, as far as I know), I am sorry to say that I think there might be something about you personally that is turning employers off, assuming you really have been searching as much as you say. I really don't mean that cruelly, but it could help to have the most honest friend you know pretend to interview you. Dress like it's a real interview and take everything seriously. Your choice of attire might be an issue, your interview demeanor could be a turn-off (too many "um" and "uh"s, a desperate attitude, whatever else), or any number of other things that you yourself might not notice.

Other than that, it's possible that you being a student is an issue for most office-type jobs. Even offices that hire part-time (filing, admin, etc) almost always want their part-timers to be able to work during the day, which is when most students are in school. The solution here is NOT to quit school -- it is to refocus your search to jobs you can do while you finish. Retail and restaurant work are two strong (though hard) options that would give you some money and let you finish school.

Regardless, I think Grandma is ready to have you move out. At 24, you either started college late or have been taking longer than needed to get a degree -- which is fine, except if Grandma thought you were only going to be there a year and it's now closing in on two with no end in sight. I would be frustrated too, in her shoes. Did you start college at 20? Have you only been going to school part-time for six years? Where are your parents in all of this?

I'm not trying to bash you. I just think that perhaps there are some stones left to be turned over and options to explore, and it sounds like you're very close to giving up entirely, which is not the way to go. Good luck.
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Old 07-15-2014, 07:55 AM
 
3,244 posts, read 5,242,334 times
Reputation: 2551
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitty4 View Post
You're 24 years old, not 16! Grow up
Amen!
Why are you still in college, at age 24? 6 years, no degree? No wonder you lost your scholarship! As for work, head down to the local fast-food joints. You've been a cashier, right? $9 per hour isn't $12, but it's better than $0 per hour. Tell the bosses you're available weekends; they should love that. If you only get 15 hours, then get a second job at another FF place.
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Old 07-15-2014, 08:03 AM
 
16,376 posts, read 22,490,585 times
Reputation: 14398
What is your major?

How many more courses until you graduate? Do you attend school during the day or evenings?

Did you check the career center at your school? Also you might be able to use the career center at your former school since you were a student there. They have access to job listings. Some companies only give postings to schools.

Ideally you want to find a job that might give you experience related to your degree, so you can grow with that experience.

Possibly you live in a rural area and are limited to a small number of employers that are close to your grandmother's home? Do you have a car? How far is the next largest city/metro area? That area might have more jobs. You problem might be related to location. Sometimes there aren't enough jobs in small towns that don't have that many businesses.
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Old 07-15-2014, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Suburb of Chicago
31,848 posts, read 17,615,406 times
Reputation: 29385
Jennifer, your grandmother is probably frustrated, as well, so appreciate her kindness and cut her some slack. In order to keep things peaceful I would let her know how much you appreciate what she's done for you, and start contributing by helping around the house as much as possible.

Do you have a laptop? You might head over to the library or Starbucks and spend a few hours there looking for a job each day just to give her some space. And start talking to the manager of Starbucks or local retailers to establish a relationship with them. A neighbor's daughter got a job at our Starbucks by going in each day and talking to the manager and staff saying she always wanted to work there and would keep coming in until she got a job. The manager even told her that when they found out someone was leaving she didn't post the ad, she just waited for this young woman to show up again. So you never know what might happen by getting out and talking to the locals.
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Old 07-15-2014, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Florida
144 posts, read 184,853 times
Reputation: 160
Do you qualify for JobCorps? They could help you get into an actual trade for no cost if your earning very little money.You can even work in another state. I went through the same thing with my mom because she can't pull her head out of the 80's to understand that people and the way things work have changed.
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Old 07-15-2014, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Huntsville
6,009 posts, read 6,668,923 times
Reputation: 7042
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoblessJennifer View Post
I'm about to turn 24 and I live with my grandmother. She let's me live in her home, rent free

2The problem is that we do not get along. She is controlling and likes things a certain way.


3My grandmother's attitude has not helped; she thinks I'm lazy

4 I live in her house but that's the only thing she is helping me out with.

5She just doesn't understand the job process... .

6At this point I'm not even sure I should finish my degree. What if I still can't find a job?

7 I just need a $12/hour full-time position and I can move out. I live in a huge city (Houston) and I can't find anything! I've tried recruiters, job agencies, Craigslist, Indeed, Monster, the green sheet and still no luck. I have had a few interviews and while the people interviewing me have claimed to love me, they chose not to hire me.

I need advice as I have no idea what to do.

This is meant to be constructive criticism, so don't take it as anything other than that. I'm honestly hoping that some of what I post will help you.

I'll respond to the bolded items above in order.

1. Remember this. Say it to yourself over and over. She doesn't owe you anything, but apparently cares enough for you to allow you to live in her home instead of on the street. Don't disregard that. Respect is earned, not given. If you want it prove to her that you deserve it. Clean the house, cook her dinner, mow her lawn, etc...

2. She is controlling in her own house. She can be. It's her house and her rules. You're 24, have no job and she is having to use what little money she gets to help support you.

3. If all you do is apply to jobs online and aren't out beating the streets, and you don't help do chores around the house she's right. Sorry, but you're an adult. Time to act like one.

4. I'd venture to say a lot of us didn't get that much help. When I turned 18 I moved out. I never went back and never asked for help. It's part of being an adult. Over time once you go through the struggle and learn to overcome the tough times, you will appreciate them more. It creates a drive that you won't have while someone else takes care of you.

5. I'd bet she understands it better than you think. It almost sounds like you don't fully understand the job process. It takes a lot more than emailing your resume out and filling out online applications. You need to be out networking, meeting people, and getting your resume in front of people face to face.

6. This almost proves the point of #3. If you are willing to give up when things get tough, you will never make it in the real world. When it gets rough, that's the time to shine. Dig in and keep pushing. Eventually you'll find an unlocked door. Often times they will lead to more opportunities.

7. This is only half the process. If you are looking for an admin asst job walk into a building and talk to someone. Just submitting a resume and hoping for the best isn't going to take you very far.
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