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if you were in a relationship with a goyim, would you require them to eat kosher too? In your own house, yes, of course, I understand that...but if you went out to eat, and they had a ham sandwich or pork ribs...or ate bacon or sausage at breakfast time--how much would that bug you? You have no reasonable expectation for them to keep kosher, even though they might do so, to respect your views, but they might "forget" not having been raised to not eat, for example, pork products, which you think of as unclean.
if a kosher jew took out a non jew i can assure you the restaurnt would be KOSHER and would not offer the above. Kosher jews will not eat in reg restaurants.
The best thing to do, IMHO, is refrain from eating pork the first time, and then ask if it bothers her in a later conversation. She is probably not going to forbid you from eating pork, but she is not going to keep it in her house or serve it to you.
I had a new office mate ask me if it was okay if she threw her paper plates away in our communal trash can in the office. That is going above and beyond, but I thought it was nice of her to consider that I didn't want pork rinds or whatever the leftover meat is called in my trash. She is so sweet! Again, that is going above and beyond, but I'm always pleasantly surprised when someone asks, and your new friend will be also!
You don't need to worry about what you eat. You do need to worry about places you can BOTH eat. However, being very solicitous in this regard will probably earn you some extra points
It's a good thing that Moses was able to sneak Tziporah in before that order came down! But then there's David and Maacah, and ....
There is Ruth the Moabite who was not initially Jewish but converted after her husband died and followed Naomi her mother in law and is seen as the first convert.
The preferred method for Torah Observant Jews is for the non-Jew to convert first. Then later they can consider marrying the Jew once they have become fully Jewish. Any other way is not al pi halacha.
I realize many Jews don't follow this halacha. Of course, many Jews don't really follow any halacha.
Originally Posted by theflipflop
The preferred method for Torah Observant Jews is for the non-Jew to convert first.
I came to this conclusion by knowing members of the beis din in the town where I live and seeing their practices. They have never, to my knowledge, allowed a conversion of a non-Jew to a Jew until they separate themselves and the non-Jew completes the conversion process. Often the couple marries immediately after the conversion is granted - but that can sometimes take years, depening on the conversion candidate. On numerous occasions I have seen the beis din break apart a relationship of a Jew and a non-Jew when the potential convert was sincere in wanting to convert. They lose all credibility when they declare their desire to convert only after meeting a Jew they want to marry. And we do not allow conversions, al pi halacha, of non-Jews who do not intend to be shomer mitzvahs and Torah.
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