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Due to circumstances, I'm obliged to move back to KC (I left in The late '90's). I've had the chance to visit KC twice in the past year, and I was impressed with how much it has changed since I moved away in the '90's. This past time I was able to bring my wife for her first visit. She liked it, but we both have a few questions.
She is from a foreign country, and though she can speak enough English to handle normal day-to-day issues, we primarily communicate in her native language. This didn't seem to affect the way most people behaved towards us (she often comments on how nice Kansas Citians are), but there was one glaring exception, a man who seemed distinctly hostile towards us (presumably) due to my wife's foreignness. How prevelant are people with such prejudices in KC?
My next question is for any Sunbelt transplants. Weather is a serious concern for my wife. She's used to winters that rarely get lower than the mid-thirties and usually it stays in the 40s. How do people who aren't used to Midwestern winters learn to cope?
Other concerns are about public transportation. I haven't used a car in years, and my wife has never used a car; where we live it isn't necessary. What are the MAX buses like? I saw that they run as far South as Waldo, but is it practical to live that far south without owning a car?
the public transportation sucks outside the immediate bus lines... don't live or travel far from it if you don't want to drive. That said, KC has pretty easy drives if you can drive. The buses "might run" all over city, but it also "might take" hours too.
What foreign country? I don't think KC people are prejudice to any one group really. Seems like they get alone with everyone or just dislike everyone else equally.
the winters suck, not bad for winters as a weather, but the people can't drive on snow and the city doesn't do a good job doing it's cleaning job either. Better than before, but nothing like NYC... people deal with it because they have to deal with it, suck it up or move basically. It isn't really that bad but it's miserable if you don't like winters. There isn't enough snow to make it a "white" winter land scape, but its enough that people can't do anything either.
Due to circumstances, I'm obliged to move back to KC (I left in The late '90's). I've had the chance to visit KC twice in the past year, and I was impressed with how much it has changed since I moved away in the '90's. This past time I was able to bring my wife for her first visit. She liked it, but we both have a few questions.
She is from a foreign country, and though she can speak enough English to handle normal day-to-day issues, we primarily communicate in her native language. This didn't seem to affect the way most people behaved towards us (she often comments on how nice Kansas Citians are), but there was one glaring exception, a man who seemed distinctly hostile towards us (presumably) due to my wife's foreignness. How prevelant are people with such prejudices in KC?
There are racist/xenophobic people everywhere. I wouldn't let the fact that one person seemed hostile toward you for reasons unclear paint a picture in your head that KC has a big ethnic intolerance problem. There are many ethnic groups represented in the metro. I do think that ethnic areas tend to be more insular, versus people of a variety of ethnicities being more organically embedded throughout the general population, but that sort of thing typically self-selects, and is pretty common in most cities of any size at all. The biggest cultural divisiveness issue I've witnessed in KC is a socioeconomic one, i.e. the big, glaring, neon delineation between the poor part of the city and the not-as-poor part.
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My next question is for any Sunbelt transplants. Weather is a serious concern for my wife. She's used to winters that rarely get lower than the mid-thirties and usually it stays in the 40s. How do people who aren't used to Midwestern winters learn to cope?
I'm from the upper Midwest, so KC's winters are seriously tame to me. As "Midwestern" winters go, I consider them generally mild compared to what I was raised with. I would say she'd cope just fine with a warm coat, gloves, and boots. Although I rarely use boots in KC winters, and typically wear a lighter, more fall-weight coat, although I have a heavier one on hand for those snowstorms and really cold snaps that crop up. I've lived on Navy bases in cold climates with people who were coming from places like Guam, San Diego, Hawaii, the Philippines, etc., and they all adapt and cope just fine. Even at Naval Station Great Lakes on the north shore of Lake Michigan with a polar vortex and feet upon feet of snow. You adapt. To me, KC's summer humidity poses more of a hassle than most winter weather, which, typically, is pretty easy-peasy, IMO.
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Other concerns are about public transportation. I haven't used a car in years, and my wife has never used a car; where we live it isn't necessary. What are the MAX buses like? I saw that they run as far South as Waldo, but is it practical to live that far south without owning a car?
In my opinion, no. It's not practical to go sans car in KC at all. It's possible, but not practical. The buses simply aren't comprehensive enough, and things are too spread out. Some areas are not at all realistically accessible except by car. I don't think KC, much as I love it, is a good city at all for nondrivers. When I lived in Waldo, public transportation, even the regular KCATA bus lines, in addition to the MAX, did not cut it for my needs. It didn't even GO to my then-workplace, at all. AFAIK, Uber has a presence in KC, but I've never used it, and can't vouch for it.
"She is from a foreign country, and though she can speak enough English to handle normal day-to-day issues, we primarily communicate in her native language. This didn't seem to affect the way most people behaved towards us (she often comments on how nice Kansas Citians are), but there was one glaring exception, a man who seemed distinctly hostile towards us (presumably) due to my wife's foreignness. If we had encountered him in a store or on the street, it wouldn't have had much of an effect. Unfortunately, he sat in front of us on our connecting flight from Atlanta and spent the duration of the flight giving us dirty looks. He was the first Kansas Citian she had encountered (outside of my family), and by the time we landed she was ready to hop on the first flight out."
I told her that he was an exception and not representative of most people in the city, and since
we didn't encounter a single person in KCMO or Johnson County who behaved like this, I believe this to be true. I asked how prevalent people with such prejudices in KC were mostly to put my mind at ease. Moving to a foreign country is very difficult, and I wanted to make sure that we would encounter few, if any, people like the guy on the plane.
I grew up in Kansas City but have spent nearly my entire adult life elsewhere (on the West Coast or abroad). My beliefs and values have been shaped by the sum of my experiences, but their foundation is based of 'Midwestern(a very important qualifier) liberalism'. When I lived in 'open minded' Seattle, I met numerous minorities who told me that I was one of the few(and in one case the only) white people they had ever felt comfortable around. Draw your own conclusions, but I think it says a lot.
Cars are required in KC? Are you trying to scare me off? Seriously, we will have a car, but my wife will want to do some things while I'm away, so it would be good if she could access shopping/cafes/other forms of diversion using the bus. We will live somewhere between Waldo and the Rivermarket, so suburban transit inadequacies won't be an issue.
She's told me that we should move to a warmer city if KC winters proved to harsh. Since I would rather eat my feet than move to a Sunbelt city, I rejected this outright. A rather heated argument ensued, but I think we have found a solution.
Although I'm not an expert on public transit in KC, I'll say that a lot of your problems will most likely be solved at once by living in the main urban corridor of Kansas City (and, ideally, working in that corridor as well.) Neighborhoods like the River Market, Central Business District, Crossroads, Midtown, Westport or Plaza (or adjacent neighborhoods) will be easiest to navigate without a car. Granted, you will probably want to do some shopping in places not easily reachable by bus, so factor a little cab fare into your monthly transportation budget. But I would also keep in the back of your mind that re-entering the world of driving and parking may not be a terrible idea. If the two of you shared a car, the expense might still be pretty modest.
Living in the areas mentioned would also minimize the chance of encountering xenophobia and bigotry, in my opinion. I don't think it's an actual problem anywhere in the metro. But the urban corridor is the most ethnically diverse area, and likely to be the most tolerant of foreigners.
Lastly, I don't think winters will be a major problem. But it never hurts to schedule your "big vacation" each year (if you're entitled to one) during late January or early February, when winter really starts to get on people's nerves, and go somewhere sunny and tropical for a week.
Seriously, we will have a car, but my wife will want to do some things while I'm away, so it would be good if she could access shopping/cafes/other forms of diversion using the bus. We will live somewhere between Waldo and the Rivermarket, so suburban transit inadequacies won't be an issue.
Having 1 car makes a big difference as opposed to relying 100% on public transit. Having a car to reach some of the farther or hard to access destinations, while using public transportation (or bike/walk) for shorter daily trips is a completely workable option, as long as you are mindful of where you choose to live. From my observation, 1 car households seem to be a growing trend in KC as people are paying more mind to their carbon footprint.
"She is from a foreign country, and though she can speak enough English to handle normal day-to-day issues, we primarily communicate in her native language. This didn't seem to affect the way most people behaved towards us (she often comments on how nice Kansas Citians are), but there was one glaring exception, a man who seemed distinctly hostile towards us (presumably) due to my wife's foreignness. If we had encountered him in a store or on the street, it wouldn't have had much of an effect. Unfortunately, he sat in front of us on our connecting flight from Atlanta and spent the duration of the flight giving us dirty looks. He was the first Kansas Citian she had encountered (outside of my family), and by the time we landed she was ready to hop on the first flight out."
Was there a conversation with this person? I wouldn't immediately assume the root of his hostility, necessarily (some people are dicks, hate flying, etc., I've certainly been glared at on a plane by somebody who wanted to, say, sprawl out in his seat and was put out that I was there taking up space, for instance). Absent some specific evidence that dirty looks were racially motivated, I don't know that I'd necessarily go there, myself. I also wouldn't, unless I'd spoken with the person, assume that he was a Kansas Citian, simply based on the fact that he was flying into the airport serving the region. But, just an observation, and I digress. Guy could have been from anywhere, and had any problem, no? Again, wouldn't let one random attitude become a big, meaningful signifier of anything.
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Cars are required in KC? Are you trying to scare me off?
Not required, no. Will having access to one GREATLY simplify your life? Without question (unlike other cities I've lived in, where owning a car actually represented a significant hassle). If you choose to locate in a number of central urban neighborhoods (Rivermarket, CBD, Crossroads, Midtown/Westport, Plaza, Brookside/Waldo all come to mind), your wife will be able to walk and/or take the relatively limited transport options to various shops and amenities should she choose, with no problem, really. Walkable grocery stores seem to continue to be the least abundant of amenities even in these areas, however. But with no car, if you live in an area such as the ones listed above, she wouldn't be isolated and confined to the house. I do plenty on foot. But there is plenty I also CAN'T do on foot. I've lived in urban areas with excellent public trans, where I was able to forgo keeping a car. KC wouldn't be my pick for cities in which to seriously attempt that. If you have access to a car as needed, and locate in or near one of the more walkable, amenity-filled neighborhoods, you'll be fine.
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She's told me that we should move to a warmer city if KC winters proved to harsh. Since I would rather eat my feet than move to a Sunbelt city, I rejected this outright. A rather heated argument ensued, but I think we have found a solution.
There will be winter days where it will be unpleasant. In my experience in the years I've lived here, the ratio of truly difficult wintry weather days to ones that are fairly mild and easily manageable has always skewed in heavily in the direction of the latter. Does it mean you won't get hit with the occasional snowstorm? Absolutely not. It isn't going to happen, though, where you are hit with weeks or even months of soul-sucking, ice-and-snow-encased, housebound weather fraught with temperatures that make being outdoors dangerous and render roads impassable. I've lived in places that's been the case. But you've lived in KC before and you know it's not like that.
Was there a conversation with this person? I wouldn't immediately assume the root of his hostility, necessarily (some people are dicks, hate flying, etc., I've certainly been glared at on a plane by somebody who wanted to, say, sprawl out in his seat and was put out that I was there taking up space, for instance). Absent some specific evidence that dirty looks were racially motivated, I don't know that I'd necessarily go there, myself.
No, I didn't speak to him because I have a policy against entering into potential conflict on airplanes.
I'm sure it wasn't racism because he saw us when he boarded and gave no indication that he had any issue. I'm certain that it was xenophobia because he started with the looks when my wife and I started speaking Turkish, and he turned to glare at us every time we spoke.
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I also wouldn't, unless I'd spoken with the person, assume that he was a Kansas Citian, simply based on the fact that he was flying into the airport serving the region. But, just an observation, and I digress. Guy could have been from anywhere, and had any problem, no? Again, wouldn't let one random attitude become a big, meaningful signifier of anything.
It was the Royals shirt that made me suspect he was from the general KC region. His accent was a bit 'country', so I assumed he was from the more rural areas of the metro....but later in my visit I met a Johnson Countian who also had that sort of accent, so I began to question my assumption.
Anyway, I'm no longer the least bit worried about it. I'm now convinced that for every person who acts like him there will be twenty (a number I just pulled out of the air) who will be angry at him for having this attitude.
It also sounds like the transit issue will be manageable, and I'm sure that the weather issue will be, too. I think the fact that KC has plenty of sun (if I remember correctly) during the winter will help.
One more thing: are Hare Krishnas a new feature of the Plaza or did we just get lucky when we visited? Not complaining, just curious.
Okay. But it would seem really odd to make sweeping generalizations regarding social attitudes of an entire city based on one guy's facial expression upon hearing a foreign language spoken, right? FWIW, I wasn't really wondering if you engaged him in conversation, so much as I wondered if he actually said something that indicated a racist or xenophobic attitude, or if this supposition was based entirely on nonverbal cues. And, yeah, wearing a Royals shirt could obviously mean anybody from anywhere in the region.
Re: Hare Krishnas, I personally haven't seen any on the Plaza for a long, long time (used to see them in front of Barnes & Noble a lot when I first moved to the Plaza in 2007, but not so much in more recent years). But you never know who's going to be hanging out...could be Hare Krishnas, could be the black evangelical pastor with the microphone and amp, could be Scientologists doing "stress tests" and hawking copies of Dianetics, could be lobbyists from the ACLU and Nature Conservancy signing people up to volunteer and donate, could be nobody. Over half the time I've lived in KC, I've lived directly on the Plaza. It's a destination, it has lots of open areas for congregating, so you see all types.
Okay. But it would seem really odd to make sweeping generalizations regarding social attitudes of an entire city based on one guy's facial expression upon hearing a foreign language spoken, right?
Perhaps we have a different definition of 'sweeping generalization'. I don't feel that a question about whether an incident reflects a potential problem is a sweeping generalization. In my book a sweeping generalization would be like this: "Kansas city sucks its the worst place cuz u r all ignurent rasists and people their r not go to skool" (whether it's an imitation of a sweeping generalization made by a KC hater or a sweeping generalization of KC haters is your call).
Facial expressions are more honest than words and usually say far more. Sure, there could have been a different reason for his action. Maybe agglutinative languages cause him to involuntarily turn his head and this irritates him. Maybe he was bored of his wife and fancied mine, and the whole situation caused him to resent us. But I think my explanation is the most logical.
But all of you have convinced me that this is a total non-issue in KC, so I'm not worried in the least
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Re: Hare Krishnas, I personally haven't seen any on the Plaza for a long, long time (used to see them in front of Barnes & Noble a lot when I first moved to the Plaza in 2007, but not so much in more recent years). But you never know who's going to be hanging out...could be Hare Krishnas, could be the black evangelical pastor with the microphone and amp, could be Scientologists doing "stress tests" and hawking copies of Dianetics, could be lobbyists from the ACLU and Nature Conservancy signing people up to volunteer and donate, could be nobody. Over half the time I've lived in KC, I've lived directly on the Plaza. It's a destination, it has lots of open areas for congregating, so you see all types.
Sounds like fun! All you need are some street musicians and flower sellers.
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Seriously, we will have a car, but my wife will want to do some things while I'm away, so it would be good if she could access shopping/cafes/other forms of diversion using the bus. We will live somewhere between Waldo and the Rivermarket, so suburban transit inadequacies won't be an issue.
