For visitors driving in Las Vegas (rental car, rental, credit card)
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You obviously aren't aware of the exception to the turn signal rule that applies to those with a California license plate. This exception also applies when a Californian moves over two lanes to make a last second turn or exit from the highway.
Most Californians make an attempt though. Right after they cut you off, they blink the signal once, and then slow down to 10 miles below the speed limit right in front of you. This is after they've determined that there is no one ahead of them in their lane, and they have no reason to be in front of you.
I pulled into Sam's Club gasoline line several days ago. Finally, I'm next-in-line as the car in front of me pulls up to the pump. Nothing happens. Eventually, the door opens, and the driver (woman) sticks her head out the door, looking backwards. Nothing is happening. Is she looking at me? Eventually, I figured out she was trying to open the door to the fuel cap.
Without much success.
Perhaps this is a rental... it is a white 4 door sedan with California plates. After a bit, the trunk pops open, she exits the car, and she slooooowly saunters back to close the trunk (it was completely full -- actually overstuffed).
... and she slooooowly saunters back to the driver's seat and several minutes later figures out how to pop the fuel door.
Shouldn't there be an IQ test to rent a car?
Then, she sloooowly exits the car, goes to the gas pump, and then starts looking for her Sam's Club membership card.
By this time, I realize the lanes around me have all gone forward by a car - had I entered one of those lines, I'd probably be done and departed, but I'm stuck behind a moron.
Gee, where did she put that Sam's Club card? She appears baffled. She's looking in her purse as if it were the Black Hole of Calcutta. She slooooowly saunters back to the car, asks her passenger, a man, who hands her a card.
Sloooowly walks back to the gas pump. She hasn't a care in the world. She must realize the line of cars waiting behind her is 4 or 5 deep, but that doesn't seem to connect her to any sense of urgency. Yes, just let the people behind her wait. It's not like they have anything better to do than wait for her to finish up. And of course there was no need for her to have her Sam's Club membership card ready to go, because of course, she doesn't need to be rushed. And everyone else can just wait.
She can't seem to get her Sam's Club membership card to work. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, you you insert and remove your membership card as if it were a credit card. For some people the membership card actually is a credit card; for others, it is not and you must then subsequently insert a credit card, and then of course it asks you to enter your billing Zip Code.
You know your Zip Code, don't you, Mrs. Moron Driver of the White Rental Car, don't you??? Would that be too much for me to expect???
I think she's trying to use her membership card as a credit card, and it isn't working. After about 5 tries, she switches to use a separate credit card.
I realize the lanes around me have all gone forward another car or so.
I see her first insert her membership card, then a separate credit card, and eventually punch various things on the screen which I presume is her Zip Code info and answers if she wants a printed receipt.
What? It isn't working?
She tries another credit card going sloooowly throught the process of first entering her membership card and then another credit card.
That doesn't work either.
I notice more cars have gone through the lanes surrounding me. I'm stuck.
She sloooowly saunters back to the car, talks to the passenger through the open driver's door window, and he rummages around, and eventually hands her a credit card.
Nice and sloooowly she saunters back to the gas pump.
Did I mention it was a hot day? About 107 degrees F or so?
She once again looks for her Sam's Club Card. Now, which pocket did she put it in? Back left? Nooo... Back right? Noooo... Maybe it was the Front right? Front Left? Nooo... She tries the Back left once again... There it is. It was hiding from her.
Thank goodness she's not in a hurry. And of course, those of us waiting in line behind her don't have anything better to do, right?
So, now she's re-found her Sam's Club membership card, entered it, and enters the new credit card. And its zip code. Gee, it doesn't seem to be working. She tries again. Same result. She tries again. Same result.
What was Einstein's comment about doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result?
By now, I'm looking for the attendant, hoping to flag him to help her. Or get rid of her. I don't see him.
But I do notice another car or two have gone by in the lanes surrounding me.
She sloooowly saunters back to the car.. wait, she stops. She inspects her fingernail. You know the type of fake fingernail that is maybe 2 or 3 inches long? Must be something interesting there. After 10 or 15 seconds, which isn't that much but seems like an eternity, she resumes her leisurely stroll back to the car, leans in through the driver's window and has a conversation with her passenger. He spends some time fumbling with something or other and then hands her yet another credit card.
And she takes a nice leisurely stroll back to the gas pump.
You already know what comes next.
Nope, this credit card doesn't work either.
She tries a total a 5 credit cards -- FIVE F*ING credit cards -- without luck.
Each time, she hasn't a care in the world. She has plenty of time.
Finally, the 6th card (or was it 7th?) works.
And she selects the gas type (regular), and finally inserts the nozzle into her gas filler.
And dispenses exactly $1.03 of gasoline. And slowly puts the nozzle back in the pump. And waits for her oh-so-important credit card receipt.
And sloooowly, leisurely saunters back to the car, stopping to inspect that fingernail again. That gasoline pump better not have damaged her nail or she's gonna sue, I imagine her thinking to herself.
And slowly takes off.
*****
Well, the good news, if you can call it that, is I do not have a firearm with me. If I did, my encounter with her would have ended up on the evening news.
__________________
I pulled into Sam's Club gasoline line several days ago. Finally, I'm next-in-line as the car in front of me pulls up to the pump. Nothing happens. Eventually, the door opens, and the driver (woman) sticks her head out the door, looking backwards. Nothing is happening. Is she looking at me? Eventually, I figured out she was trying to open the door to the fuel cap.
Without much success.
Perhaps this is a rental... it is a white 4 door sedan with California plates. After a bit, the trunk pops open, she exits the car, and she slooooowly saunters back to close the trunk (it was completely full -- actually overstuffed).
... and she slooooowly saunters back to the driver's seat and several minutes later figures out how to pop the fuel door.
Shouldn't there be an IQ test to rent a car?
Then, she sloooowly exits the car, goes to the gas pump, and then starts looking for her Sam's Club membership card.
By this time, I realize the lanes around me have all gone forward by a car - had I entered one of those lines, I'd probably be done and departed, but I'm stuck behind a moron.
Gee, where did she put that Sam's Club card? She appears baffled. She's looking in her purse as if it were the Black Hole of Calcutta. She slooooowly saunters back to the car, asks her passenger, a man, who hands her a card.
Sloooowly walks back to the gas pump. She hasn't a care in the world. She must realize the line of cars waiting behind her is 4 or 5 deep, but that doesn't seem to connect her to any sense of urgency. Yes, just let the people behind her wait. It's not like they have anything better to do than wait for her to finish up. And of course there was no need for her to have her Sam's Club membership card ready to go, because of course, she doesn't need to be rushed. And everyone else can just wait.
She can't seem to get her Sam's Club membership card to work. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, you you insert and remove your membership card as if it were a credit card. For some people the membership card actually is a credit card; for others, it is not and you must then subsequently insert a credit card, and then of course it asks you to enter your billing Zip Code.
You know your Zip Code, don't you, Mrs. Moron Driver of the White Rental Car, don't you??? Would that be too much for me to expect???
I think she's trying to use her membership card as a credit card, and it isn't working. After about 5 tries, she switches to use a separate credit card.
I realize the lanes around me have all gone forward another car or so.
I see her first insert her membership card, then a separate credit card, and eventually punch various things on the screen which I presume is her Zip Code info and answers if she wants a printed receipt.
What? It isn't working?
She tries another credit card going sloooowly throught the process of first entering her membership card and then another credit card.
That doesn't work either.
I notice more cars have gone through the lanes surrounding me. I'm stuck.
She sloooowly saunters back to the car, talks to the passenger through the open driver's door window, and he rummages around, and eventually hands her a credit card.
Nice and sloooowly she saunters back to the gas pump.
Did I mention it was a hot day? About 107 degrees F or so?
She once again looks for her Sam's Club Card. Now, which pocket did she put it in? Back left? Nooo... Back right? Noooo... Maybe it was the Front right? Front Left? Nooo... She tries the Back left once again... There it is. It was hiding from her.
Thank goodness she's not in a hurry. And of course, those of us waiting in line behind her don't have anything better to do, right?
So, now she's re-found her Sam's Club membership card, entered it, and enters the new credit card. And its zip code. Gee, it doesn't seem to be working. She tries again. Same result. She tries again. Same result.
What was Einstein's comment about doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result?
By now, I'm looking for the attendant, hoping to flag him to help her. Or get rid of her. I don't see him.
But I do notice another car or two have gone by in the lanes surrounding me.
She sloooowly saunters back to the car.. wait, she stops. She inspects her fingernail. You know the type of fake fingernail that is maybe 2 or 3 inches long? Must be something interesting there. After 10 or 15 seconds, which isn't that much but seems like an eternity, she resumes her leisurely stroll back to the car, leans in through the driver's window and has a conversation with her passenger. He spends some time fumbling with something or other and then hands her yet another credit card.
And she takes a nice leisurely stroll back to the gas pump.
You already know what comes next.
Nope, this credit card doesn't work either.
She tries a total a 5 credit cards -- FIVE F*ING credit cards -- without luck.
Each time, she hasn't a care in the world. She has plenty of time.
Finally, the 6th card (or was it 7th?) works.
And she selects the gas type (regular), and finally inserts the nozzle into her gas filler.
And dispenses exactly $1.03 of gasoline. And slowly puts the nozzle back in the pump. And waits for her oh-so-important credit card receipt.
And sloooowly, leisurely saunters back to the car, stopping to inspect that fingernail again. That gasoline pump better not have damaged her nail or she's gonna sue, I imagine her thinking to herself.
And slowly takes off.
*****
Well, the good news, if you can call it that, is I do not have a firearm with me. If I did, my encounter with her would have ended up on the evening news.
__________________
She must have been from Oakland. These folks are a special breed of inconsiderate.
I pulled into Sam's Club gasoline line several days ago. Finally, I'm next-in-line as the car in front of me pulls up to the pump. Nothing happens. Eventually, the door opens, and the driver (woman) sticks her head out the door, looking backwards. Nothing is happening. Is she looking at me? Eventually, I figured out she was trying to open the door to the fuel cap.
Without much success.
Perhaps this is a rental... it is a white 4 door sedan with California plates. After a bit, the trunk pops open, she exits the car, and she slooooowly saunters back to close the trunk (it was completely full -- actually overstuffed).
... and she slooooowly saunters back to the driver's seat and several minutes later figures out how to pop the fuel door.
Shouldn't there be an IQ test to rent a car?
Then, she sloooowly exits the car, goes to the gas pump, and then starts looking for her Sam's Club membership card.
By this time, I realize the lanes around me have all gone forward by a car - had I entered one of those lines, I'd probably be done and departed, but I'm stuck behind a moron.
Gee, where did she put that Sam's Club card? She appears baffled. She's looking in her purse as if it were the Black Hole of Calcutta. She slooooowly saunters back to the car, asks her passenger, a man, who hands her a card.
Sloooowly walks back to the gas pump. She hasn't a care in the world. She must realize the line of cars waiting behind her is 4 or 5 deep, but that doesn't seem to connect her to any sense of urgency. Yes, just let the people behind her wait. It's not like they have anything better to do than wait for her to finish up. And of course there was no need for her to have her Sam's Club membership card ready to go, because of course, she doesn't need to be rushed. And everyone else can just wait.
She can't seem to get her Sam's Club membership card to work. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, you you insert and remove your membership card as if it were a credit card. For some people the membership card actually is a credit card; for others, it is not and you must then subsequently insert a credit card, and then of course it asks you to enter your billing Zip Code.
You know your Zip Code, don't you, Mrs. Moron Driver of the White Rental Car, don't you??? Would that be too much for me to expect???
I think she's trying to use her membership card as a credit card, and it isn't working. After about 5 tries, she switches to use a separate credit card.
I realize the lanes around me have all gone forward another car or so.
I see her first insert her membership card, then a separate credit card, and eventually punch various things on the screen which I presume is her Zip Code info and answers if she wants a printed receipt.
What? It isn't working?
She tries another credit card going sloooowly throught the process of first entering her membership card and then another credit card.
That doesn't work either.
I notice more cars have gone through the lanes surrounding me. I'm stuck.
She sloooowly saunters back to the car, talks to the passenger through the open driver's door window, and he rummages around, and eventually hands her a credit card.
Nice and sloooowly she saunters back to the gas pump.
Did I mention it was a hot day? About 107 degrees F or so?
She once again looks for her Sam's Club Card. Now, which pocket did she put it in? Back left? Nooo... Back right? Noooo... Maybe it was the Front right? Front Left? Nooo... She tries the Back left once again... There it is. It was hiding from her.
Thank goodness she's not in a hurry. And of course, those of us waiting in line behind her don't have anything better to do, right?
So, now she's re-found her Sam's Club membership card, entered it, and enters the new credit card. And its zip code. Gee, it doesn't seem to be working. She tries again. Same result. She tries again. Same result.
What was Einstein's comment about doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result?
By now, I'm looking for the attendant, hoping to flag him to help her. Or get rid of her. I don't see him.
But I do notice another car or two have gone by in the lanes surrounding me.
She sloooowly saunters back to the car.. wait, she stops. She inspects her fingernail. You know the type of fake fingernail that is maybe 2 or 3 inches long? Must be something interesting there. After 10 or 15 seconds, which isn't that much but seems like an eternity, she resumes her leisurely stroll back to the car, leans in through the driver's window and has a conversation with her passenger. He spends some time fumbling with something or other and then hands her yet another credit card.
And she takes a nice leisurely stroll back to the gas pump.
You already know what comes next.
Nope, this credit card doesn't work either.
She tries a total a 5 credit cards -- FIVE F*ING credit cards -- without luck.
Each time, she hasn't a care in the world. She has plenty of time.
Finally, the 6th card (or was it 7th?) works.
And she selects the gas type (regular), and finally inserts the nozzle into her gas filler.
And dispenses exactly $1.03 of gasoline. And slowly puts the nozzle back in the pump. And waits for her oh-so-important credit card receipt.
And sloooowly, leisurely saunters back to the car, stopping to inspect that fingernail again. That gasoline pump better not have damaged her nail or she's gonna sue, I imagine her thinking to herself.
And slowly takes off.
*****
Well, the good news, if you can call it that, is I do not have a firearm with me. If I did, my encounter with her would have ended up on the evening news.
__________________
OMG...you need to include this in your stand up act...Absolutely hilarious. I'd be she knew exactly where the ebt card was though.
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