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You can love it or hate it as far as I'm concerned, has no impact on me. I can't say I really enjoy sitting here reading someone's boring life story of how things got too expensive and it's unfair and blah blah blah....look, LI is really too expensive for me too, and I will not be long for it's surfaces unless I win on this Mega Millions ticket, but get over it! Cut some corners or live somewhere else. I don't even take the posts about the decreasing population of caucasians or the non-resemblance to 1964 seriously. This is one situation where I believe the old adage of "don't hate the playa hate the game" to be reversed.
Can anyone find me some negative posts regarding LI that were not only objective but also not based around the poster's financial woes and/or changing demographics & landscape?
Frankly, unless you are here to help I don't know what would motivate you to come back to gripe except either a longing or some irrational hate. Either way, I'm really tired of it.
I've seen no evidence of a desire to provide us with ANYTHING constructive.
I agree. A few of us very valid, constructive posters who offer to give advice, seek advic to newcomers, or fellow LIers, etc don't even want to come here and post anymore (take a guess who we are?) b/c of the fact that too many who have moved off LI simply enjoy coming back to find misery b/c misery loves company.
I always say this...I moved from Queens and Brooklyn. I NEVER even think to go back to those boards, I could not care any less what happens there (and I still have family there!). Maybe that's b/c I am happy where I am and am not seeking to find others who are miserable like myself...hmmm. I truly believe those who come back often and don't offer advice are just trying to find the negatives so they can convince themselves they "did the right thing" by moving from LI. Otherwise why come here, esp if not to actually be constructive?
Yet, when we expressed this frustration, we were told "Deal with it. EVERYONE is welcome here". Well then the LI board will become pretty crappy when good constructive members of the LI board may slowly exit the board b/c we don't want to constantly sort thru the garbage and trolling posts/threads. And people coming here for advice will only hear negativity from people who don't even live here anymore. So I do believe we have to stand up for our home of LI, and that is why we don't want to stand for the trolls who seek to offer nothing but bashing and negativity. And then we get accused of being angry and nasty when it is quite the opposite way. I personally KNOW how to read thru the lines and I know when someone is genuinely trying to help. It is quite obvious who is here to be constructive, or who seeks to find misery to join their company.
A few who have left LI who visit here ONLY seek to add fuel to the fires of those who express frustration or negativity re LI. And I have personally said this directly to them, only to have my post deleted. Go figure. I just call 'em as I see 'em.
Last edited by Glad2BHere; 05-05-2008 at 10:05 PM..
I agree. A few of us very valid, constructive posters who offer to give advice, seek advic to newcomers, or fellow LIers, etc don't even want to come here and post anymore (take a guess who we are?) b/c of the fact that too many who have moved off LI simply enjoy coming back to find misery b/c misery loves company.
I always say this...I moved from Queens and Brooklyn. I NEVER even think to go back to those boards, I could not care any less what happens there (and I still have family there!). Maybe that's b/c I am happy where I am and am not seeking to find others who are miserable like myself...hmmm. I truly believe those who come back often and don't offer advice are just trying to find the negatives so they can convince themselves they "did the right thing" by moving from LI. Otherwise why come here, esp if not to actually be constructive?
Yet, when we expressed this frustration, we were told "Deal with it. EVERYONE is welcome here". Well then the LI board will become pretty crappy when good constructive members of the LI board may slowly exit the board b/c we don't want to constantly sort thru the garbage and trolling posts/threads. And people coming here for advice will only hear negativity from people who don't even live here anymore. So I do believe we have to stand up for our home of LI, and that is why we don't want to stand for the trolls who seek to offer nothing but bashing and negativity. And then we get accused of being angry and nasty when it is quite the opposite way. I personally KNOW how to read thru the lines and I know when someone is genuinely trying to help. It is quite obvious who is here to be constructive, or who seeks to find misery to join their company.
A few who have left LI who visit here ONLY seek to add fuel to the fires of those who express frustration or negativity re LI. And I have personally said this directly to them, only to have my post deleted. Go figure. I just call 'em as I see 'em.
I have lived in two other states and I wasn't happy there and I am glad I am back on LI. But do I go over to the boards for PA and FL and tell the how "crappy" their states are? NO! If they are happy there, who am I to rain on their parade?
I also frequent the Vermont board as I have a foot in each state, so-to-speak. Below is a link to a thread which was started to ask, "Why Do People Leave Vermont?" It is upfront, no hardcore bashing as we have on the LI forum. The OP is actually a Brooklyn, NY resident who has been considering making the move to VT and is trying to gather as much information as possible. Most of the responses were clear and concise, with the occasional rabble rouser thrown in. (Even bucolic VT is not immune!)
If I saw a thread "Why Do People Leave LI?" and on it people who were either planning on moving off the Island (or have already left) wrote reasons that were realistic, honest and not nasty in tone, I wouldn't consider that a bashing thread. Someone could write about high property taxes, cut back in wages, area taking a turn, following family, etc. (I realize this doesn't scratch the surface, but it's only an example.)
I often tell people that I am happy for them if their move worked out for the best; the sentiment is sincere and I do respect their choice. But when they come back and try and rub our noses in their choice to remain in a place we are happy? Bashing. When they paint broad, sweeping generalizations about the LI area and do not support their 'facts'? Bashing. They are showing us no respect and one has to wonder what type of person they were to begin with.
Can some of it be that it's just the way some native Islander's are? I think every Long Islander has a love/hate relationship with the place as it presents it's residents with some extremes; The beautiful beaches, great food, etc contrasted with the tax burden, hectic life, LI politics, etc each of us has experienced leads to some cognitive dissonance.
Also let's face it, many Islander's who left have been pushed off the Island that they love, or at least feel that way, and I think that leads to the bitterness of some of the ex-pats that visit the forum.
I think for many the song The Downeaster "Alexa" sums up their Long Island experience, especially the last line, and I think that's what hurts.
Quote:
I was a bayman like my father was before
Can't make a living as a bayman anymore
There ain't much future for a man who works the sea But there ain't no island left for islanders like me
Can some of it be that it's just the way some native Islander's are? I think every Long Islander has a love/hate relationship with the place as it presents it's residents with some extremes; The beautiful beaches, great food, etc contrasted with the tax burden, hectic life, LI politics, etc each of us has experienced leads to some cognitive dissonance.
Also let's face it, many Islander's who left have been pushed off the Island that they love, or at least feel that way, and I think that leads to the bitterness of some of the ex-pats that visit the forum.
I think for many the song The Downeaster "Alexa" sums up their Long Island experience, especially the last line, and I think that's what hurts.
Quote:
Quote:
I was a bayman like my father was before
Can't make a living as a bayman anymore
There ain't much future for a man who works the sea But there ain't no island left for islanders like me
That line can apply to so many locales; although Billy Joel might be a native son, older, native Floridians lament their "old Florida" before it became the retirement/relocation/entertainment/vacation mecca it is today. The native Carolinians are watching their small farm towns being plowed under for the last time to make way for interlopers, and the native VTers (you have to be at least 7 generations before they'll remotely consider you a native! LOL) have been beset upon by wealthy 2nd homeowners and kingdom builders who have sought to control the direction the state takes, without any regard for the people who have to make a living there. There are plenty of good people all over the country who are being pushed out of the place they love; sadly it isn't just a problem on LI.
As long as our population continues to grow and our communities feel the pinch of these growing pains, people will lament that which they have lost in the name of progress.
However if someone came in and said that such and such area of BayShore is on the border of a crime-ridden area, that's not a bash it's a fact. It would be helpful for someone who is unfamiliar with that spot and wants to find a home in a 'safe' area.
This has been labeled as "bashing" recently as well. I love Long Island and support it quite often on this forum, but have been accused of "bashing" by saying someone should avoid a crime ridden area.
I think what makes LI unique is it's geography and that it is such a well defined place that makes it easy for many of us who grew up there to have that Islander identity. And I think many of us do hold onto that identity long after we leave which can result in either fond memories or bitterness about having to separate.
One thing I do know about because it's happened right down the street from me is that many of those in other places who do own their farms or land is that they do stand to make a hefty profit, and can usually control when they move. They actually can benefit from that change where I don't think that's so anymore for many on the Island. Used to be, but not so much now.
This has been labeled as "bashing" recently as well. I love Long Island and support it quite often on this forum, but have been accused of "bashing" by saying someone should avoid a crime ridden area.
If I tell someone (who is unfamiliar with and moving to LI)to avoid the Terrace Ave apts in Hempstead, that's not bashing -- that's preventing them from moving into an area that is rife with drugs and violence. I worked with a woman who lived there, dropped her off on one occasion when she missed her bus, and she wasn't exaggerating about what went on. That's not bashing, it's reporting reality!
What about people first coming to LI and asking about Huntington and Huntington Station -- is it wrong to suggest staying away from parts of the Station, unless they asked for an area that had homes owned by absentee landlords, diminished property values and residents whose immigration status was questionable?
On one hand it's ok for those of us to suggest areas which are inhabited by whites, or whose residents are a rainbow and are primarily professionals with degrees, but conversely we are bashers if we suggest that an area has sub par schools, overcrowded housing, higher than average crime, gangs, etc.
If I were moving to LI sight unseen, I would want to know about it - warts and all.
I find it all pretty amusing actually. How people only look on the little square they live on rather than the bigger picture. Looking through other cities all over the country in the City Data Forums for years now I see no difference what so ever in the complaining and whining by some people. Seems there's always that handful of people that have the need to bash this or that. I donno...you think it just makes them feel better??? It's a pretty sorry state of affairs if that's the case, but I think that's exactly what it is.
I think that group of people never really look where they should be looking....inside themselves....because that's really where it all is. That's where you find true happiness as hokey as that might sound.
If I move off of this sandbar it won't be because I "hate" it here but rather because I'm looking to change my enviorment for new scenery and some new adventures. I don't ever want to think I'm running away, but rather walking into something new.
Where ever I go I'll be taking the same baggage with me so untill I learn how to pack my bags in an orderly fashion, where everything fits.....if I can't do that...then where ever I go I'll never be happy. Like Jon Kabbat-Zinn says, "where ever you go, there you are". There's no escaping that .
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Well said!
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