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There is no comparison. Every other city feels like a status driven, keeping up with the joneses, kinda mess. LA is the only city where I've felt as though none of that truly matters, just live your life. I don't know if its because the near depression level economy or the rather "slacker" lifestyle one can have or both but it's really changed my perspective and humbled me. LA should be described as humbling. Of course the Westside still has its stereotypes.
Another theory is the relatively lack of racial hierarchy in the city. I guess I'm used to the south, where what defines white people there is how different they are to non whites. I've seen white people here who have less advantage due to the lack of a good ol boy network, they dress, talk and act in ways that would be seen as ethnic in other states.
LA is a big place. BIG. If you want to find the status driven segment of people, you will find them easily enough in LA -- and not just on the Westside. There are plenty, and driven status-driven groups communicate their status in languages that don't always translate to other groups. For example, one group might express it in the form of large homes hidden by thick hedges, when another group might build their home in a most showy fashion. Certain groups dress in the latest trends, carry certain accessories, and pile on the makeup to communicate their success. Other groups dress in decidedly muted fashions, carry other kinds of accessories, and wear little/no makeup at all to communicate a similar socio-economic level. All these groups are communicating status, but their communication may be misunderstood/not getting through at all to other groups.
Lots of people in LA are status driven. But then again, many aren't. There are plenty of other segments of society around. Just depends on where you live, work, the folks you hang out with. That's one nice thing about LA. I do believe peer pressure exists within specific social groups. But since LA is so big, and since there does seem to be more of a live and let live vibe between the groups, if you're not part of that group, no big deal.
Good! People should define themselves by their passion! There is nothing wrong with defining yourself as an idealized version of who yourself and the way in which you wish to earn a living. Not the way they are paying their rent and bills. IMO, this is actually a thing I LIKE about people in LA. I DON'T think this is fake at all. And no offense, I don't really click well with people who find this wrong.
I agree with this 100 percent.
In fact what I hate even more is people who define themselves as an artist of some sort and then refuse to take on a side job to support it, complaining about how broke they are. I've always been a writer, even a few years ago when 99 percent of my salary came from working at a coffee shop and temping at offices.
Yes he did. Very good post. LA to me, is its own planet. A planet that doesnt pass judgement, nor care about who you are or where you came from because everyone here has already seen it all come & go countless times. YOUR particular story is nothing new & guess what? Its ok. "Dude, welcome to LA & do your own thing, man!" Thats the common sentiment here & I love it.
LA is an escape for me. I hated growing up on the East Coast & couldnt stand living there anymore, about 10 years ago so, I finally took the plunge & came out here. Best thing I ever did. LA to me, wipes away your past & it lets you start brand new. It has no memory & its lets YOU be YOU. You can be whatever you want to be & nobody gives a &^%$. I feel like I belong out here....something I never felt where I came from.".
To be fair, when I moved to Boston and knew nobody but my girlfriend I felt this same "clean slate" - of course I didn't hate CA or growing up here. But I think any time you move a long distance to a new city one gets the feeling of starting over fresh.
Well, I don't think its keeping up with the Jones'.
Many people have delicate self esteem/confidence/ego that can be shattered easily by judgmental comments. Whats wrong with identifying with your ideal self rather than the here and now?
I show my true self to others on my OWN terms, the more they prove they won't judge me for it.
I think that's the point of this thread. Isn't fakeness identifying with your ideal self as opposed to who you actually are? Also, the statement about showing your true self to others on your own terms kind of plays in to what OP was talking about I think.
My point is that in many cases, people in LA want you to perceive something about them - affluence, stability, perfect family, etc. This is often portrayed as no one, in my opinion, wants to appear behind the others in LA. It's why people drive expensive cars outside their means when they can just take a Camry or Accord (as an example).
In other parts of the country (not all obviously), people seem more open and honest with who they are. Maybe you're right in saying that folks have self-esteem issues in LA, but that doesn't seem quite as prevalent in other places. Maybe it's LA that causes self-esteem issues for the reasons I noted above?
I think that's the point of this thread. Isn't fakeness identifying with your ideal self as opposed to who you actually are? Also, the statement about showing your true self to others on your own terms kind of plays in to what OP was talking about I think.
My point is that in many cases, people in LA want you to perceive something about them - affluence, stability, perfect family, etc. This is often portrayed as no one, in my opinion, wants to appear behind the others in LA. It's why people drive expensive cars outside their means when they can just take a Camry or Accord (as an example).
In other parts of the country (not all obviously), people seem more open and honest with who they are. Maybe you're right in saying that folks have self-esteem issues in LA, but that doesn't seem quite as prevalent in other places. Maybe it's LA that causes self-esteem issues for the reasons I noted above?
I see what you're saying here, and on some level, I understand where you're coming from. But I don't think it's fake if someone is working away at their craft (e.g. acting, photography, writing, or even tech startup) and self identifies as being an actor, photographer, etc. even before they've made it big, even if they're waiting tables or working at an office job while self-identifying as an actor, writer, etc. The only difference between an artist who has "made it" and one I think you'd consider "fake" is approval of their craft by someone with money, influence, or power. And as far as I'm concerned, a writer is a writer if s/he dedicates him/herself to the craft, whether or not some bigwig approves of his/her writing; it's who they feel their authentic self to be.
You are an artist if you create art. Let's say some big gallery decides you're worth something. Can you only now officially call yourself an artist? Let's say that big gallery loses interest a year later and you have no commissions and are back to waiting tables. Does that mean you can no longer call yourself a artist? I don't think so.
I like that in LA, there are a lot of people with big dreams of creativity. And I like in this big mishmash city of ours, a lot of us celebrate those dreams and dare to make them a reality.
Compared to the Midwest, many people in LA have ambition in their lives and make a lot of money. California is also more freespirited so people are comfortable altering their appearances to match who they are inside.
I see what you're saying here, and on some level, I understand where you're coming from. But I don't think it's fake if someone is working away at their craft (e.g. acting, photography, writing, or even tech startup) and self identifies as being an actor, photographer, etc. even before they've made it big, even if they're waiting tables or working at an office job while self-identifying as an actor, writer, etc. The only difference between an artist who has "made it" and one I think you'd consider "fake" is approval of their craft by someone with money, influence, or power. And as far as I'm concerned, a writer is a writer if s/he dedicates him/herself to the craft, whether or not some bigwig approves of his/her writing; it's who they feel their authentic self to be.
You are an artist if you create art. Let's say some big gallery decides you're worth something. Can you only now officially call yourself an artist? Let's say that big gallery loses interest a year later and you have no commissions and are back to waiting tables. Does that mean you can no longer call yourself a artist? I don't think so.
I like that in LA, there are a lot of people with big dreams of creativity. And I like in this big mishmash city of ours, a lot of us celebrate those dreams and dare to make them a reality.
I don't disagree with these statements at all. If someone works at Starbucks as they pursue their acting career, then by all means, they are an actor and I'm okay with them identifying themselves as that. It's when that actor feel compelled to talk up his gigs as these big productions when he's an extra, or feels he has to drive a nice car so he appears successful, that I think are where the fakeness labels come in to play.
I think that LA compels people to do things like this since perceptions are important in this city and people don't want to appear behind the curve. Honestly, no one wants to appear behind the curve ever, it's just human nature, but in a city that does indeed have a disproportionate amount of millionaires with nice things, next to people who don't make $30,000 in a year, it forces (although that is the wrong word) people to act/do things they would normally not, especially compared to smaller town where people are closer on the income ladder.
*These are all VERY general statements by the way.
I think that's the point of this thread. Isn't fakeness identifying with your ideal self as opposed to who you actually are? Also, the statement about showing your true self to others on your own terms kind of plays in to what OP was talking about I think.
My point is that in many cases, people in LA want you to perceive something about them - affluence, stability, perfect family, etc. This is often portrayed as no one, in my opinion, wants to appear behind the others in LA. It's why people drive expensive cars outside their means when they can just take a Camry or Accord (as an example).
In other parts of the country (not all obviously), people seem more open and honest with who they are. Maybe you're right in saying that folks have self-esteem issues in LA, but that doesn't seem quite as prevalent in other places. Maybe it's LA that causes self-esteem issues for the reasons I noted above?
Fair enough,
But lets dissect this a little further. lets take the example that the poster Marilyn-whatever, used of the girl who called herself a photography, even if its really just a passion or hobby but really works at a bank.
Sure, I guess, as radiolibre pointed out, maybe you could say "I work at a bank, but my passion is photography" sure maybe that might be a bit more as you say "open and honest".
Its really simply, IMO opinion just "putting your best foot forward" to sell yourself in a way.
Now, what do you think is more likely to get a new friend, telling someone you just met that you work at a bank, something you do to earn your keep, but you are not that passionate about and you think is actually kind of lame, thereby communicating a lame, jaded attitude. Or a positive attitude about your passion of photography or acting that will engage people and will make them want to know more about you.
See what I mean? Sure you need to be grounded in reality, and no doubt maybe LA might have more people that are not grounded in reality than elsewhere, and maybe more people who might judge you for your car, sure, but you can easily live in LA County and not come across these people.
And heres the thing: You do find more people in other parts of the country, although not everyone, who will see your dreams as simply being silly. You will constantly be told "you are not this, you are that" and then wonder why you seem confused about your identity. I can think of countless examples from my own life, but I'm not going to get into that right now.
But lets dissect this a little further. lets take the example that the poster Marilyn-whatever, used of the girl who called herself a photography, even if its really just a passion or hobby but really works at a bank.
Sure, I guess, as radiolibre pointed out, maybe you could say "I work at a bank, but my passion is photography" sure maybe that might be a bit more as you say "open and honest".
Its really simply, IMO opinion just "putting your best foot forward" to sell yourself in a way.
Now, what do you think is more likely to get a new friend, telling someone you just met that you work at a bank, something you do to earn your keep, but you are not that passionate about and you think is actually kind of lame, thereby communicating a lame, jaded attitude. Or a positive attitude about your passion of photography or acting that will engage people and will make them want to know more about you.
See what I mean? Sure you need to be grounded in reality, and no doubt maybe LA might have more people that are not grounded in reality than elsewhere, and maybe more people who might judge you for your car, sure, but you can easily live in LA County and not come across these people.
And heres the thing: You do find more people in other parts of the country, although not everyone, who will see your dreams as simply being silly. You will constantly be told "you are not this, you are that" and then wonder why you seem confused about your identity. I can think of countless examples from my own life, but I'm not going to get into that right now.
Heres a little example from my own life. I work as an adjunct college professor at multiple community colleges. Just because I'm not a tenured college professor at a research university should that keep from saying I am college professor (a much sexier title). Of course not.
And I do NOT call myself a teacher. That usually causes a reaction of almost pity. I call myself a professor. A woman I know from my church who works as a professional matchmaker/dating coach told me at a consultation appointment to not let any exterior economic reality keep you from identifying yourself. She told me to just say when asked what you do, just proudly and confidently say "I'm a professor". It doesn't matter if you work at multiple institutions, don't have solid job security, get paid per class, etc.
I seriously wonder if I would have gotten this advice living somewhere else. Maybe I would have but it proves my point. And I have been better since for it. Other people elsewhere would start to look at my quizically and dubious if I were to explain to them I work at multiple schools and get paid per class, if I were to tell them "I am a professor".
Heres a little example from my own life. I work as an adjunct college professor at multiple community colleges. Just because I'm not a tenured college professor at a research university should that keep from saying I am college professor (a much sexier title). Of course not.
And I do NOT call myself a teacher. That usually causes a reaction of almost pity. I call myself a professor. A woman I know from my church who works as a professional matchmaker/dating coach told me at a consultation appointment to not let any exterior economic reality keep you from identifying yourself. She told me to just say when asked what you do, just proudly and confidently say "I'm a professor". It doesn't matter if you work at multiple institutions, don't have solid job security, get paid per class, etc.
I seriously wonder if I would have gotten this advice living somewhere else. Maybe I would have but it proves my point. And I have been better since for it. Other people elsewhere would start to look at my quizically and dubious if I were to explain to them I work at multiple schools and get paid per class, if I were to tell them "I am a professor".
That IS excellent advice. I too am grateful we don't live in place where we are expected to justify our job/career to random fools at a cocktail party, particularly when it's one earned only after considerable academic achievement in an extremely competitive job market. People here understand it's rough out there and generally take you at face value in that regard. Whether that's from disinterest or mutual respect, I don't know. Don't care either.
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There are plenty of other segments of society around. Just depends on where you live, work, the folks you hang out with. That's one nice thing about LA. I do believe peer pressure exists within specific social groups. But since LA is so big, and since there does seem to be more of a live and let live vibe between the groups, if you're not part of that group, no big deal.
if I were to explain to them I work at multiple schools and get paid per class, if I were to tell them "I am a professor".
