I just moved here from the east coast and I'm very disappointed (Beverly Hills: apartment, how much)

[luciusFlorio]

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I am a 28 year old white single male who recently moved here from the east coast. I live in Beverly Hills now (right on the border with LA) and I work in Hancock Park. Being someone who actually gived a damn about the environment, I take the bus to work every day and don't even own a car. Ok, here's my gripe. I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, a place that I have very unfond (is that word?) memories of. I hated the nastiness , the rudeness and mean spiritedness of people there. I also hated the congestion and noise. I relocated for a brief period of time to south jersey where things were somewhat better. However the close proximity to my family was actually counter productive for me (I grew up in an abusive dysfunctional home) and i also never dealt well with cold winters. When a friend who had recently moved to CA. offered me a room in his apartment for a nominal price I gladly accepted, thinking that life in california with abundant sunshine, beautiful and friendly people would do wonders for my depression-prone self. But things didnt exactly work out that way. My depression hasn't gone anywhere and it is only intensified when I come into contact -on a daily basis- with rude and unfriendly people. I am shocked at the amount of meanness and rudeness I see in this city; this is not the California I always thought of . Call me naive, call me stupid but this has been a major letdown. My entire life I've been looking for a wholesome friendly environment but it seems to elude me everywhere I go. Is that too much to ask?

Now, an attempt at a solution. are there any towns outside LA (not too far from Hancock Park though) where I can find a friendlier environment and nominal rent?
Your help would be greatly appreciated, folks.

[BRinSM]

what do you like? what are you in to? Do you have any hobbies? LA has something for everyone, I gauarantee it. either you are not putting yourself out there enough or the problem is an internal one.

[SurekRZA]

Sounds like you need to take a shot or two...maybe five

^^I agree...with that mentality you wont be happy anywhere you go....maybe Disneyland

[luciusFlorio]

Originally Posted by BRinSM

what do you like? what are you in to? Do you have any hobbies? LA has something for everyone, I gauarantee it. either you are not putting yourself out there enough or the problem is an internal one.

I like reading, movies, hiking, karaoke, drinking (maybe a lil too much). What do you mean by "putting myself out there". I go out to bars, clubs every weekend and Im completely disillusioned. I constantly meet shallow vapid women who want to know how much you make, or are just downright mean rude and nasty and the parties are lame and end way too early.

[timelesschild]

Here is my idea: you are still getting used to things, and are still maybe experiencing some culture shock. So go easy on yourself and others - it could all just be temporary. Are you getting out enough? Nobody does well when he/she feels isolated.

It would probably help you a LOT to find a group of people who like to do the same things you do. But not westside bars and clubs. That isn't a good venue for finding friends imho. Maybe the hiking and cycling would do better for you. There is some GREAT hiking around!

And smile. People almost always smile back! Really, I find LA to be friendlier and more easy to engage people in conversation than anywhere else I've lived. Even if they don't always speak English.... the smile still works!

[luciusFlorio]

Originally Posted by SurekRZA

Sounds like you need to take a shot or two...maybe five

^^I agree...with that mentality you wont be happy anywhere you go....maybe Disneyland

Alcohol does wonders for my personality and banishes my depression but my doctor warned me about my liver already. Apparently the hepatitis I contracted as a child permanently scarred my liver. I am the unluckiest man alive, i can never win...

[uptown_urbanist]

People are the same everywhere, so I don't think you're going to find a magic solution simply by moving.

I liked living in Hollywood, although if you don't like noise and congestion you won't like it there.

I know you're looking for neighborhood advice, but maybe try getting involved as volunteer somewhere or something. Given that LA is a huge place there are always going to be rude, obnoxious people (I think the percentage is the same everywhere, but with higher population comes a higher number of rude people) but if you can surround yourself with nice, caring people it will help cancel out the others.

[uptown_urbanist]

Originally Posted by timelesschild

Here is my idea: you are still getting used to things, and are still maybe experiencing some culture shock. So go easy on yourself and others - it could all just be temporary. Are you getting out enough? Nobody does well when he/she feels isolated.

It would probably help you a LOT to find a group of people who like to do the same things you do. But not westside bars and clubs. That isn't a good venue for finding friends imho. Maybe the hiking and cycling would do better for you. There is some GREAT hiking around!

And smile. People almost always smile back! Really, I find LA to be friendlier and more easy to engage people in conversation than anywhere else I've lived. Even if they don't always speak English.... the smile still works!

I tried to give rep points for this, but looks like I have to spread it around more first. Yes, I agree with this - all good advice. You might in the same country, but any move - especially to a different region and kind of city - is going to result in culture shock, and you might not be expecting it in the same way you would if you moved to another country.

I've lived in a number of different cities, and found LA to be one of the friendliest. I also greatly enjoyed taking public transportation because I often met, or even just briefly interacted with, many very friendly (and some not-so-friendly, of course) people. That human connection, however fleeting, made things a lot easier in the beginning when I didn't know anyone. Also become a regular somewhere - your local pizza place, the corner store, wherever. It's nice to have people recognize you, and starting to feel part of the community will also help drown out the actions of the annoying people out there.

[luciusFlorio]

Originally Posted by timelesschild

Here is my idea: you are still getting used to things, and are still maybe experiencing some culture shock. So go easy on yourself and others - it could all just be temporary. Are you getting out enough? Nobody does well when he/she feels isolated.

It would probably help you a LOT to find a group of people who like to do the same things you do. But not westside bars and clubs. That isn't a good venue for finding friends imho. Maybe the hiking and cycling would do better for you. There is some GREAT hiking around!

And smile. People almost always smile back! Really, I find LA to be friendlier and more easy to engage people in conversation than anywhere else I've lived. Even if they don't always speak English.... the smile still works!

Hey thanks for taking the time. I think part of my problem is big cities in general; I just don't do well in big cities. I've been looking to become part of a tight knit social circle/community where people look out for each other (even a cult would work for me at this point..) but I always end up in a big city, just an insignificant speck among millions.

I do love the hiking here but since I don't have a car it is not easy to get to these trails very often.

I like what you said about smiling. I have been struggling my entire life with depression and it is not always easy for me to do. But someone once said smile even if you dont mean it, eventually you will mean it. I can be pretty socially awkward and grumpy ofte times but when i drink i am funny, loud and boisterous,people love to be around me. But i can't dictate my life by the bottle...

Anyway thanks for your suggestions.

[KnoxTown]

Those unfriendly people are everywhere. If you want to avoid them, try a smaller city.