Looking for Bostonians that moved to LA (Orange: college, area)

[artichoke63]

I have lived in So Cal for many, many years and have no long term friends to speak of. On the east coast, people have a deeper understanding of what it means to be a friend. You get in a fight, you don't talk for a while, but then you get OVER IT and stay friends. You have a history together. In Los Angeles, people replace old friends with new ones, the way you do clothes. New friendships can be instantaneous. You have a new best friend suddenly and then just as suddenly they are gone.

[puffle]

Hey Jerzegal, I can't remember if we have had this discussion, but I am living in Ventura County as well. Unless you have lived here,had children that grew up together and never left, then making long lasting connections are near impossible. I moved here in 89', got married 91' and had only baby in 93'. Did all the usual Mommy and me things, had friends,worked in the schools and then moved away in 2001 for Boston among other places. Returned in 2005 and have been virtually ignored by anyone I used to know. Just the usual "let's get together sometime and do coffee". Had fantasies about seeing my old friends again and my son reconnecting with his, but this was not the case. We do not feel at home in our own hometown and can't wait to get back to Boston, as I am sure you might have read on other posts. I grew up in the Valley and then here, but feel like such a stranger in a strange land. It is so much harder when you are single here in this bedroom community of mainly families. Are you planning on moving back to Ma. and if so, where would you go?

[fashionablecowboy]

I know Boston very well and I will tell you some of the major differences.

-Bostonian's care a lot less about their image. And many of them are very ugly and unkept in appearance.

-Surveying, the values of "safe and clean," Boston tends to be much better in both; over all. I don't care what the crime rates say. They are wrong, because Boston's values are skewed by the bad neighborhoods in South Boston. In LA, the bad neighborhoods seem to be on every block. (there's no ignoring it). While if your in Financial or Government Center, there's no denying LACK of poverty. (it's easy to ignore it).

-Bostonian's think it's cool to be sophisticated, busy, and cultured. Angeleno's think the same, but are much more laid-back about it (not as frenzied).

-Bostonian's would be considered "Conservative" by a lot of Californians.

-Boston is compareable to Santa Monica more than any other place in L.A. (in my opinion) 3rd street is to Fanieull Hall. Santa Monica Place is to Copley Place. PCH is to Storrow Drive. etc..

-Bostonian's are much more blunt, rough-edged, and accented. Very few Whites in SoCal have accents. Angeleno's are more flaky and bright spirited(not brain-wise though; the other bright).

-Boston places more importance on "historic" and old stuff.

-Many more native Bostonians dream of Los Angeles than vice versa. (based on my experience)

-Traffic in Boston generally is around rush hour, and is light at other times.
Los Angeles is packed 24/7.
-Irish culture is to Boston as Los Angeles is to Mexican culture.

[shellinca]

Originally Posted by jerzegal_in_Cal

I actually came across your thread when I was compiling some notes for a blog about my distaste for Southern California. I moved from New Jersey to California 8 years ago. I am 29 now, in the prime of my "social life" (not party, but relationship-building) and I have two friends in Los Angeles and that is it! I don't even live in LA; I live about 45 minutes north of the city limits. I couldn't understand why I was so miserable and unhappy. I used to think there was something wrong with me. But, I am not the problem. I just don't relate to other people here. This is just my opinion. I could go on and on... I wanted to know how things are with you. Did you move already? The post was in January. I just grab a hold of anyone (live or online) when I hear that someone from back East is relocating to this area. Best of luck! Hope to hear from you.
Jerzey girl

I relocated from NYC to LA in January, mainly due to the appeal of warm weather year round and a slower pace, but I'm having the hardest time adjusting. For the first 6 weeks or so, I was actually pretty pleased with my choice, but then the novelty seemed to wear off. Don't get me wrong - there are things I enjoy such as living close to the beach and hiking trails. But there are also things I don't like: the traffic, the lack of distinct neighborhoods and communities, being completely dependent on my car, not being able to walk anywhere, and oh yeah.. the traffic. I've also found it more difficult to make friends here compared to NY and DC (where I went to grad school). I get the sense it's a bit of a transient place and that it's difficult to make meaningful, lasting friendships. I'm struggling right now with whether to give it more time or just head back east. But definitely helps to know it's not just me and that others have had similar experiences.

[gabry76]

Hi all,
I'm not a bostonian, nor I live in Cali, but I just wanted to give my opinion in the matter of friendships. I moved from Italy few years ago and I lived in Miami for 1 1/2 year and I'm currently live in Chicago. I had difficulty to find good friends in both cities, and my thought is that after a certain age (probably after college-age) it is very hard to establish long lasting friendships wherever you move. It really doesn't change much if you moved from your hometown to another city in Italy, US, France, Argentina, UK...in each place you will find it hard to find new friends. Why? Because when you're young you have more chances to socialize with new people (school, sports, church, other activities) and as you pass your school age it tends to get harder and harder to find real friends...wherever you are.

[artichoke63]

Originally Posted by gabry76

Hi all,
I'm not a bostonian, nor I live in Cali, but I just wanted to give my opinion in the matter of friendships. I moved from Italy few years ago and I lived in Miami for 1 1/2 year and I'm currently live in Chicago. I had difficulty to find good friends in both cities, and my thought is that after a certain age (probably after college-age) it is very hard to establish long lasting friendships wherever you move. It really doesn't change much if you moved from your hometown to another city in Italy, US, France, Argentina, UK...in each place you will find it hard to find new friends. Why? Because when you're young you have more chances to socialize with new people (school, sports, church, other activities) and as you pass your school age it tends to get harder and harder to find real friends...wherever you are.

Gabry,

This is very true. It's much harder to make friends as you get older. Old friend carry your history. It's hard to trust new people. Lasting relationships take many years to build.

Artie

[bostonia]

Mike,

I just moved back to Southern California 3 weeks ago after living in Boston for the last 7 years (Winthrop, Southie and Back Bay). I'm not a native Bostonian but I'd like to think I'm an honorary one since I did live through 7 winters and survived! I love Boston and after I'm finished with nursing school, I think I will move back to Boston. I'm still getting accustomed to California but since I've lived here most of my life I can definitely give you some pointers.

The cost of living is about the same as Mass, though some say California is higher. Anyway, you can shop around a bit more in California for an apartment and you don't have to shell out BOTH your arms and legs to get a place (you know- 1st & last months rent, security deposit AND realtors fee). I've had great success with craigslist on both coasts.

A car is essential - especially Southern California. There is public transportation, but it's definitely NOT the "T". Don't worry - driving is very easy here, if you know how to drive in Boston, California is a piece of cake.

Jaywalking - if for some reason you have to cross a major street, do NOT jaywalk. You will be ticketed if you are not in a crosswalk. If you're not in a crosswalk and you get hit, get a good lawyer because you have an uphill battle on your hands. Point of this, don't jaywalk unless you know a really GOOD attorney - ie, F.Lee Bailey etc...

I always tell New Englanders if they're planning on going to California to visit L.A. first and San Francisco last - save the best for last.

As for food, I liked the variety that Boston had to offer, though Mexican food was a challenge to find. I think Southern California has WAY too many national chains and not enough independently owned restaurants - I guess I wish it were a little more like Boston in that respect.

The weather is nice here, but the crystal clear days in Massachusetts are hard to compare. So Cal is frequently hazy and smoggy however, the summers aren't too humid and a 90 degree day without humidity is bearable.

Get a couple of headhunters to seek out employment for you.

I think that's a good start and everyone else that has responded to your posting has had really good suggestions. You can email me if you have any other questions. Good luck!

pattitakamine@yahoo.com

[kritterz78]

I am origianlly from Southern CA and moved to MA almost 5 years ago. I was lied to by a relative that it is a great place to live out here....what a joke!!! Where to begin.....things can be bad anywhere however in all the states I have been in NOTHING is as horrible as MA. The people are rude, self centered, pushy, unfriendly, and uncaring. They can't drive, speak proper english...."cah" does not = car! Even little kids here are bossy, filthy mouthed, un trained, and out of control!!! I have not made one friend here....while I have made friends in many states I have visited, and even have friends in other coutries. I have dozens of friends in CA. I am FINALLY getting out of here and moving in 2 weeks....can't come soon enough!!! People compain about NY....Anyone I know from NY is so much more out going and friendly than ANYONE from MA. I have never seen some of the strange things that go on in MA anywhere else. Here are just a few: Beware walking your dongs in MA, the electric company out here has a HUGE ongoing problem with live wires in the streets and dozens if dogs have been electricuted and killed while being walked, there are literally THOUSANDS of natural gas leaks and houses explode suddenly, this summer a little boy was severely burned and now need extensive surgery and skin grafts becuse of steam that poured out of a man hole cover, I was treated in CA for cancer, when I moved here the so called oncologist had not even heard of the type of chemo I was on. The medical care is so out dated it's scary! The roads are so poor that people spin out on highways and blow out tires due to the foot deep pot holes EVEYWHERE. The streets are littered and filthy everywhere. Nobody cleans up after their dogs, not to mention the fact that nobody puts their dog on a leash. I have never seen so many people with toddlers not strapped into car seats. I am not saying that there are not problems, crime, filth ect, in other states, however MA is by far the worst place I have ever been. I would definately pay more to live anywhere just to be free of MA!!! I have met a few polite and caring people here....HOWEVER they are from Northern CA, Ohio, and NY. The people in MA are closed minded, their mouths are the filthiest anywhere I've been, they are all obsessed with Dunkin Donuts, cigarettes, and any food that is fattening and gross. I am sure there are better places that LA.....I lived in a suburb that was beautiful (Burbank), but MA is just not the place to be at all!!!

[bostonia]

Sorry to hear about your bad experience in Massachusetts. It's too bad you didn't live in Boston proper - I think you would have had a different experience. Living in the suburbs was not an option for me, really, a burb is a burb -BORING- even burbs here in California are boring. Also in Boston, you would have had a choice of better medical care - ie Dana Farber Cancer Institute - they're partnered with Harvard. Kudos to you for sticking it out for 5 years, it's just too bad it wasn't in Boston.

[bostonia]

Some dining suggestions before you leave Boston...
BEACON HILL: No. 9 Park and Ristorante Toscana;
SOUTH END: Red Fez, Franklin Cafe, Metropolis, 28 Degrees, Butcher Shop, Union, DeluxCafe, The Dish, Aquitaine, Stella;
CAMBRIDGE: Rendezvous, Green Street Grille, Muqueca, Sandrines;
FINANCIAL DISTRICT: Les Zygomates, Radius
NORTH END: Modern Pastry, Trani, Cafe Vittoria, Florentine, Mare, Bricco, Terramia