Bethesda or Timonium? (Baltimore, Columbia, Ellicott City: daycare, house, find a job)

[UserName14289]

It's a long shot and I doubt I'll get much feedback, but just in case... for the life of me, I can't decide where to hunker down with my son before he begins school, Timonium or Bethesda. I've lived in the Bethesda/Rockville area before but never Timonium, though I have several relatives in Timonium.

I still have 2 years before he begins school, but I don't want to keep moving, so when I return to work in 2016 from staying home with him now that he's still little and in need of special therapies, when I go back to work, I'd like to find something where I intend to send him to school for the next 12 years.

Due to multiple health conditions triggered by the cold, I had no intention of returning to MD when I left the last time for CA, so this wasn't the long term plan but I'm working with life's changes. As a parent, we need to do what is best for our children and not necessarily for ourselves. Hence what brings me back to MD. I love everything about MD except the weather, and the weather will be the same if I'm in Timonium or Bethesda, so that isn't a deciding factor.

So then I look at schools and Timonium has the best schools in Baltimore (I currently reside in Baltimore after leaving CA due to proximity to family) but Bethesda has the best schools in the state and top 50th in the country (as well as more job opportunities for my field and more single men, per Google -- I'm a single mom, so that's important too).

BUT Bethesda has an absurd amount of traffic. I lived in Rockville / North Bethesda many moons ago and swore I'd never return to that traffic. As a single mom, I also want to optimize my time with my son, which means as little traffic as possible from work to daycare, so he's not spending long days in childcare because there aren't two parents to split drop off and pick up.

My son's godparents are moving out of state when their house sells, and my father (my son's grandfather) will never, ever leave Baltimore. But those are the only frequent relationships I feel are worth considering when thinking about the move. Most of my family is in Baltimore, but one cousin, her husband, and her child the same age as my son are in Rockville / North Bethesda, but we've never been as close as I am with some of our other cousins. The rest of the Baltimore family we'd see just as much if we lived in Timonium or Bethesda.

Thoughts? Anyone lived in both and have some input?

[Alex1484]

I think both areas are good areas for K-12 schooling. Bethesda does rate much higher (consistently nationally ranked very high) for public schools but Timonium also has good schooling. Where will you be working as both areas are substantially different in affordability? Timonium will definitely have less traffic than Bethesda but it does have the metro for access to DC. Timonium only has mass transit busing and the light rail for getting around besides with a car.

[UserName14289]

Originally Posted by Alex1484

I think both areas are good areas for K-12 schooling. Bethesda does rate much higher (consistently nationally ranked very high) for public schools but Timonium also has good schooling. Where will you be working as both areas are substantially different in affordability? Timonium will definitely have less traffic than Bethesda but it does have the metro for access to DC. Timonium only has mass transit busing and the light rail for getting around besides with a car.

That's the thing, right now I'm at home with my son because he has a lot of occupational and speech therapy appointments. He's in pre-K part-time (3 mornings, so he can get to those appts in his off time, and I can get to my own appointments when he's in school and he can get gradually established in a school environment to prep for going full-time when I return to work), so I haven't returned to work (living on savings). When I do soft searches for jobs, many are in the Bethesda / Rockville area. I could find a job most places and just take what I can find, so either are options in the work department. The question is, which is going to be the best opportunity for my son? Will the best school in Baltimore be good enough so we can stay near a grandpop that refuses to move (he's in his 60s, so not too old to move, just too stubborn lol). Or will the better area but still driving distance to grandpop be better? I just don't know. Too many factors and I over research everything. If there were something solid pointing one over the other, that would help, but there's not. Right now I could literally go anywhere. The question is which would be best for my son. I also think about things like the other kids he'll meet, what their families will be like, etc. Would I trust them with my son for a playdate / sleepover, etc.

[MidValleyDad]

By Timmonium I assume you mean in Baltimore County not the city. Besides schools the main concern I would have would be the job situation for you. I would worry about finding a good job that will allow you the flexibility you will need as a single mom. And Cost of living between the two may be considerable which could put additional stress on you

[cjmeck]

I have 2 kids with mild special needs and I am forever grateful that we chose Howard County schools (specifically Ellicott City) for our family. Niche.com recently ranked them the best in the state if that does anything for you. I know it is not at all what you are asking but I just felt that maybe I should throw Howard County out there as its been a fantastic area with close proximity to all my kids appointments at the Kennedy Kreiger office in Columbia as well as some of the top ranked schools in the country. Hopefully the Timonium and Bethesda crowd will be by to give their input as well. Best of luck with your decision!

[bufflove]

Originally Posted by MidValleyDad

By Timmonium I assume you mean in Baltimore County not the city. Besides schools the main concern I would have would be the job situation for you. I would worry about finding a good job that will allow you the flexibility you will need as a single mom. And Cost of living between the two may be considerable which could put additional stress on you

I agree; once you know where you want to work then you can decide whether the rest of your life fits around the job offer. You can have a 30 second commute every day if you want to live/work/daycare all in downtown Bethesda or you could be stuck with a 2 hour commute if you try and plan employment and residency separate from each other.

[UserName14289]

Originally Posted by MidValleyDad

By Timmonium I assume you mean in Baltimore County not the city. Besides schools the main concern I would have would be the job situation for you. I would worry about finding a good job that will allow you the flexibility you will need as a single mom. And Cost of living between the two may be considerable which could put additional stress on you

Yes, the county.

[UserName14289]

Originally Posted by cjmeck

I have 2 kids with mild special needs and I am forever grateful that we chose Howard County schools (specifically Ellicott City) for our family. Niche.com recently ranked them the best in the state if that does anything for you. I know it is not at all what you are asking but I just felt that maybe I should throw Howard County out there as its been a fantastic area with close proximity to all my kids appointments at the Kennedy Kreiger office in Columbia as well as some of the top ranked schools in the country. Hopefully the Timonium and Bethesda crowd will be by to give their input as well. Best of luck with your decision!

Ellicott City was on my radar for a bit, but I had to start narrowing it down and got it down to Timonium and Bethesda for the reasons above. KKI has a Columbia location? That's good to know.

We're at KKI, MWPH, and I&T. Needless to say, the appointments are exhausting and I'm hoping we can wind down some of them soon because at some point, I need to go back to work. This money won't last forever. :|

Great input. Thank you.

[UserName14289]

Originally Posted by bufflove

I agree; once you know where you want to work then you can decide whether the rest of your life fits around the job offer. You can have a 30 second commute every day if you want to live/work/daycare all in downtown Bethesda or you could be stuck with a 2 hour commute if you try and plan employment and residency separate from each other.

That was the largest draw to Bethesda, aside from the schools, was that I could essentially live / work / daycare (they have a Goddard School location in Bethesda -- that's where my son currently goes) all within close proximity, keeping my commute short which would optimize time with my son.

I suppose it seems like I'm putting the cart before the horse, since I don't have a job and am not actively looking for one. But since some preschool wait lists are a year or longer, and I don't intend to move every time I change jobs, yet my son will be in the same school system for 12 years, I'd rather pick based on school and life vs job, get on a pre-school waiting list, move, get him settled in, then pick the job that is closest to home.

I have job connections in Baltimore (some have been pestering me for a while but I haven't been ready to return to work for reasons listed above). Hopefully those opportunities will still be present when I'm ready. Whereas, given my government-contracting background, Bethesda obviously has even more jobs in my field.

[GiGi603]

Neither--- Howard County. Good schools, good Parks and Recreation, easy access to Bethesda and Baltimore. Elliott City/Glenelg to name a couple of really nice places.