where should we move in massachusetts? (Boston, Lowell: apartment, for rent, condo)

[kevinbelt]

Rather unexpectedly, I've been confronted with the possibility of moving to New England. I'm not entirely thrilled about this, but I guess I need some more information to properly make a decision. The thing is, we don't really know where to go, so suggest some places for me.

For several years, my wife and I had been planning to move back to her hometown (Buffalo, NY) after she's done with grad school and her postgrad fellowship. That's this August. We just had a big wrench thrown in those plans, though, when her mom bought a condo in New Hampshire. Although it wasn't the only reason we were planning to move to Buffalo, having her mom nearby was a major benefit. (Her dad - they're divorced - is retiring in a month to his lake house an hour outside the city.) I still like Buffalo well enough, but at this point, it's no different than any other random city. I like Milwaukee too, but why would I move there?

The reason her mom moved is, in part, because the rest of her family lives on the east coast. She has a sister, niece, and nephew in Portland, Maine; a sister in Boston; a sister in Brooklyn; and her brother is in the process of moving to Cambridge. Her mom chose Exeter, NH, as it's roughly halfway between Portland and Boston. Now, my wife feels a bit left out, and she wants to be near everyone else, too.

In particular, she grew up very close with a few of her cousins (one of whom now lives in Jamaica Plain, and another who is most likely going to start grad school at Tufts in the fall), and she wants our daughter (and any other kids we have in the future) to have the same thing. For various reasons, my brother and sister are unlikely to have children, and so any cousins our child(ren) would have would be on her side. That, combined with having her mom nearby, has given her a strong desire to move to somewhere in New England.

Now, I like New England well enough. I've been to Portland and Boston both a couple of times, and I spent a week in 2008 going to a bunch of little towns in New Hampshire during the primary. Great place to visit. But I think most of the places I've traveled have been great places to visit. It doesn't mean I'd want to live there. I'm from the midwest (Ohio), and that's a pretty strong part of my identity. It would be a big psychological change for me to become a northeasterner. My preference would be to stay here in Ohio, but in order to make that case, I need to at least know what I'm arguing against, and who knows? Maybe I could find a place that would change my mind.

So here are my criteria:

-Within a two-hour drive of Portland. This limits the search area to southern Maine, southeastern New Hampshire, and northeastern Massachusetts.

-Within a one-hour drive of Exeter, NH. This is probably redundant, as Exeter is an hour from Portland, although it does rule out other cities in Maine north of Portland.

-Preferably not Portland or Exeter, though. I've been to both, and I like them well enough. I know my way around Portland well enough that I could find something to eat (Pizza Joint, Elevation Burger, etc.) without having to Yelp my way around, and my wife knows it even better. My reluctance is based on the fact that my sister-in-law is already there. Not that I don't like her. It's just, my wife is the middle child of her family, and her Portland sister is the oldest, and their personalities and family dynamic are such that my sister-in-law tends to overwhelm my wife. I'd like my wife to have some space of her own, so that she can live her own life and not just be her sister's little sister, you know? I mean, there's a reason that I'm the one asking about moving to New England, rather than her sister asking about moving to Ohio. The same is true, to a lesser extent, with Exeter. Nice town, I've driven through, but we'd be in the shadow of her mom the whole time. It's one thing in a bigger city like Buffalo, but another in a smaller town like Exeter.

-Not exurban. I'm OK with suburbs, but the inner-ring, early twentieth century kind, not sprawling McMansion-and-chain store places where you never even go into the city center. We currently live in between Grandview Heights and Upper Arlington in Columbus, and I've lived in University City in the St. Louis area, if that gives an idea of what I like. My wife lived in Somerville for a while before we met, and I think that area is fine. It sounds like exurbs don't really exist in New England like they do in Ohio, but I'm still a little skeptical of areas around the 495.

-Anything else - downtown, inner-ring suburbs, medium-sized towns, middle of nowhere, etc. - is OK. I just don't want that in-between state, where you've got the remoteness of being in the middle of nowhere, but you're surrounded by crap development and McMansions.

-Proximity to a college. My wife works in student services, and I enjoy going to lectures, football games, etc. There are enough colleges in the region that I don't expect this should really disqualify anywhere.

-Reasonable cost of living. We pay $975 for a 2br apartment in Columbus, and I'd like to stay around that range if possible. I know this is somewhat unrealistic, but the closer we can get to $1000/month, the better. Long term, if we buy a house, we'd probably be looking in the $250k range or below, I imagine. (So Somerville's out.)

-Good public schools. Our daughter is only two months old, so this is a while off, but I don't want to have to move again when she starts school. Public schools are important; I'm not interested in sending my kid to a private school.

-Midwestern feel. I grew up in a small town in Ohio, and that's something I enjoy. Mom-and-pop hamburger stands, miniature golf, soft-serve ice cream, lots of corn and cows. You know, Main Street America stuff. (Interestingly, part of the reason I was so on board with Buffalo is because Buffalo has this midwestern feel to me.)

I'm aware that the answer is "Vermont". But alas, even the closest parts of Vermont are still too far from Portland. Otherwise, that would be a no-brainer.

So give me your best shot. Is there a place in New England that's so great I can't turn it down?

[I'm cross-posting this to the NH and ME forums as well, so apologies if you see this more than once.]

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by kevinbelt

I like Milwaukee too, but why would I move there?

I could answer that, if you'd like. Excellent city.

Otherwise, you're budget is going to rule you out of a good school system two bedroom place north of Boston. It will rule you out for renting, and DEFINITELY rule you out for buying anywhere near Boston. Even doubling 250k (500k) it can be a big challenge.

Oh, and I lived in Madison for 10 years, the college scene here, esp sports scene is NOTHING like the big 10. It basically, outside of hockey, doesn't exist, so kiss that goodbye. BUT, there is a nice big B10 alumni system in Boston, tOSU has at least one bar where they meet for games. MI has like three, so help your brethren out.

I don't know enough about NH or ME, other than Portsmouth and Portland (both out of the running for you) to comment on there. Good luck.

[rethcir]

Maybe you could buy a quarter acre teardown in Fitchburg for 250k.

To be clear.. you will have to comprimise here, your budget will not allow for the kind of experience you're describing.

[LLCNYC]

Originally Posted by rethcir

Maybe you could buy a quarter acre teardown in Fitchburg for 250k.

To be clear.. you will have to comprimise here, your budget will not allow for the kind of experience you're describing.

Yep.

250K?
950 a month?

Nope.

[kevinbelt]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I could answer that, if you'd like. Excellent city.

Very nice, I wouldn't mind living there at all. (And my budget would go further!) But there's nothing really pulling me there like there is in Columbus or New England, or there was in Buffalo. It would just be moving to a random city.

Oh, and I lived in Madison for 10 years, the college scene here, esp sports scene is NOTHING like the big 10.

That's fine. I don't expect it. Nothing's ever going to replace OSU for me, but I grew up in a town with a D-3 football program, and I enjoy those kinds of small college sporting events as well.

[BostonMike7]

You really need to double your budget to have a shot at finding most of what you seek. Perhaps this in a way helps you explain to your wife that you cannot afford to move to New England?


I could suggest a few towns, but the schools might not be where you want them to be.


At $250K you might be able to find a 2 BR townhouse, but you are out near 495. Chelmsford, Tewksbury, Dracut. But they really won't have the feel you want.

[ECPCVC]

Not in MA. Maybe NH, but schools could be lacking in that price range.

[kevinbelt]

Originally Posted by BostonMike7

Perhaps this in a way helps you explain to your wife that you cannot afford to move to New England?

[missionhill]

I'd be wary of the Merrimack valley suburban belt-- places like Tewskbury and Chelmsford-- because of the sprawl factor. Some of the cities could work for you though, like Lowell and Haverhill MA and Manchester NH. NH has many nice small towns that aren't suburban or exurban, especially, just smaller towns with mix of houses, woods, farms. An especially nice one is Peterborough but there are many that are an hour or so from Exeter and within 2 of Portland.

I'd like Buffalo myself!

[gf2020]

Maybe I missed it, where would your jobs be located?

Find employment first and then find a housing solution that makes sense depending on your budget, tolerance for commuting and other requirements.