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So in the past year I went from being homeschooled to going back to a school I've been in before. But I feel that the homeschooling hurt me. When I came back last year I tried to fit in with a crowd that my friends I knew before were in. But I screwed up and it ruined my whole schoolyear, however I was still had some friends. Now this year is different, the crowd is kinda broken up (1 left, 2 go away during the afternoons) and that gives me a chance to be noticed a little more. But it hasn't really happened. I only have still 1 or 2 friends and even them tend to forget about me or just not really care. Probably because of my really boring personality. I am careful a lot about what I do/say. Maybe I am depressed? I've felt like this for the past year. My home situation is very inadequate. Borderline homeless and my dad cant find a job. Some idiot "psychiartist" is letting me/my family stay in this 100 year old haunted looking house and it sucks. For like the past year. And my parents fight a lot. I have took a test related to depression and here are some of the results I got:
It affects your physical well-being, resulting in chronic fatigue, sleep problems, and changes in appetite.
It prevents you from enjoying and living your life to the fullest.
It affects your mood, with feelings of sadness, emptiness, hopelessness and dysphoria.
Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc.
We become very self focussed and sensitive, easily offended, and quick to snap.
As our relationships start to break down, we blame ourselves. We feel worthless, believing that no-one would want to be with us because we don't want to be with ourselves. We push people away and then feel worse because we are alone.
You've really let yourself go - you're wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you've stopped exercising, you're not shaving unless it's absolutely necessary.
It affects the way you think, interfering with concentration and decision making.
It affects your behavior, with increased irritability and loss of temper, social withdrawal, and a reduction in your desire to engage in pleasurable activities.
You may be eating all the time because you're bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
Sleeping difficulties have started creeping in - either difficulty sleeping, erratic sleeping patterns or difficulty staying awake.
It can take MANY, MANY tries to find the right therapist for you...keep trying! Depression is no joke.
But, you can start trying to "beef up" your personality.....find something...a club or activity that you can get involved in...that will give you a whole host of potential "new friends" that you may find have things in common with you.
It's hard going to a new school...especially after home-schooling, where you didn't have kids your own age....keep trying! Be a good listener, too....folks LOVE to be listened to!
Good luck!
Sorry you are depressed. But...as much as I believe in clinical depression, and how difficult it is to get out of it...you do control it to some extent, and actually make choices, sometimes to choose activities that increase the depression. Start simple, make a goal of just getting up and taking a shower. Look at your life right now, and think about things that you could do that would improve it...and do just one thing a day. Start slow...but you can do it if you choose. Sometimes, I think that we use "I am depressed" as a crutch or justification for continuing a depressed lifestyle. It cycles, and you do make a choice. Please, go look for a job, that will get you out, and start living a life, and have some direction and purpose.
Sorry you are depressed. But...as much as I believe in clinical depression, and how difficult it is to get out of it...you do control it to some extent, and actually make choices, sometimes to choose activities that increase the depression. Start simple, make a goal of just getting up and taking a shower. Look at your life right now, and think about things that you could do that would improve it...and do just one thing a day. Start slow...but you can do it if you choose. Sometimes, I think that we use "I am depressed" as a crutch or justification for continuing a depressed lifestyle. It cycles, and you do make a choice. Please, go look for a job, that will get you out, and start living a life, and have some direction and purpose.
Jeez- that's a long list for someone who's depressed to even contemplate, never mind implement!
Have you ever suffered from depression?
I have had mild depression, but even the mild form feels awful! Also, I homeschool my kids, so I understand that. What I really want to address is your friend situation... I have had good friends in the past, but circumstances (like moving) split us up. It seemed like all around me, everyone had a good friend but me! I prayed for a good friend. I even had some people in mind. But I found a friend where I least expected her and she is so good to me. To have friends, you need to show yourself friendly. Be friendly to others. Be open to friendships with people that you wouldn't normally see yourself with. Maybe they are a little nerdy or weird, but they need a good friend, too! If the relationships with your old friends seem to be going nowhere, just let them go. Don't waste your time with people who can't reciprocate in a relationship (like they only want to talk about themself, but not hear what you have to say.) Also though, while trying to make a new friend, remember that people like it when you ask them questions.
If you have true depression, maybe you can ask your school nurse about free counseling apart from your parents and your "dad's shrink." But sometimes, just changing your situation can help with mild depression. Try purposefully setting out to make a new friend or two. I can be a city-data pal.
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I can be a city-data pal.
