Dependent Personality Disorder? (symptoms, pain, therapy, deal)

[Enzio1]

Due to the suggestion of many people online, I've started visiting a therapist at my university. I've only had one session so far and will have to wait over a week for the next one because I will be out of town. I hope that it will help me get better.

I feel like I have dependent personality disorder. I feel like I should tell my therapist why I think so next time I meet her.

I have one friend in particular (who I've mentioned before) who I feel extremely dependent on. She said she'll always be there if I need someone to talk to. I've asked her multiple times to make sure that I'm not annoying her too much, but she says that it's okay. I can tell she cares about me and is worried, but she sometimes does get frustrated with how negative I am about life.

Let's look at the DSM definition... I (1) have difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice. I ask her if I should do X or Y, which one I should do first, etc. I guess that is closely linked with (2), needing her to assume responsibility for most major areas of my life. I also find that I (3) don't like disagreeing with people because I fear they'll not like me anymore. So, I'll just sort of nod along even if I disagree. I guess I do (5) do things that I don't particularly want to do, because I want people to like me. I'll help them with school assignments, for example, even if I really don't want to. I definitely feel (6) uncomfortable/helpless alone, and I have a horrible horrible (7) fear of abandonment. I feel that after college I'll lose all my close friendships and I feel like people are ignoring me or don't care about me if they don't respond to a text/message. Sometimes I feel like it's better not to get into close relationships, that way I won't be hurt as much when someone leaves.

What do y'all think? I want to be more independent from her because I always feel horrible when she's not around. But, at the same time I feel like getting better will be a painful process

[artangel]

I haven't read any prior posts you've made (that I'm aware of) but do want to congratulate you on being wise enough to get help thru therapy. It has helped me many times. (various issues)

As far as the self diagnosis? I read the link you gave---sounds like it's possible you have that disorder based on what you've said. Why not tell your therapist? It's a good starting point, if nothing else. Plus it demonstrates that you are an active participant in your therapy and have taken some initiative in researching the problem---a plus, I would say.

I wish you good luck and good progress.

[SuperSoul]

Enzio,
I agree with Artangel, that your self-awareness is a great start!

I think everybody is somewhat dependent on others. We start out 100% dependent as babies... Some become too independent, others too dependent. Being interdependent is ideal... which is having a secure sense of self, and being able to share that with others & appreciate what others have to share.

I've struggled with something similar & "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie - helped. Basically, it's taking responsibility for our own happiness... for our own thoughts & letting others do the same.

Good luck with overcoming this & being better for it!

[Fourmyle of Ceres]

Enzio1, I just got out of a relationship with a woman that I believe has DPD. We were together for 3 months and for 1 month I lived with her. If it might still be useful to you, I could share with you a little about it to see if the shoe fits. Sounds like she had some of the same symptoms you had/have.

This post is a little old, so maybe it isn't even an issue any more or it isn't the issue it was when it was written.

Also, maybe it will give me a little perspective accepting what went wrong in the relationship that I haven't fully realized yet.