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Well, speaking as someone who still considers it on a daily basis, I don't think anyone would miss me. So I don't consider it selfish. My issue is ZERO self esteem and the world proving me right. My wife is gone, I'm unemployed, and absolutely hopeless.
What happens when you've done all those things and there is not one person to call except a crisis line? What happens when you've been to several psychiatrists, gone on more "cocktails" than you can count, seen more therapists than you can count and have been betrayed by everyone you thought you could trust? What do you do then?
What happens when sleep is your only reprieve (and what keeps you alive), when you've lost interest in everything, and your days are nothing more than a series of days like in the movie "groundhog day?" What happens when you spend every holiday alone, too embarrassed to admit it to everyone and you know that to volunteer will just make things worse (because you do that already on a regular basis). You seem to have so many answers, so what happens? What happens when you know no one cares if you live or die and you postpone your ending until after that one person who does care has passed on, so as to not hurt that person? What happens when you know attendance at your funeral will be zero. Is it ok with you to get all your affairs in order, make arrangements, have your will in place and then to end it all in the least messy way possible? Do any of these things ever cross your mind? I am sure they have crossed many a suicidal person's mind.
It is true cognitive therapy, which focuses on retraining of thinking processes, can work in conjunction with medicines.
But if you have no idea what this horrid abyss involves, then better to decline posting here and move to a tread that you actually know something about....
And, there are NO angels or dreams or gods or GOD in the abyss of depression. But there are others who understand and medicines that do help.
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Originally Posted by imcurious
I heard Wayne Dyer on YouTube I think (or read it, can recall which) . . . anyway, he said, there is no such tangible thing as clinical depression - it is not a discreet "thing" that you can taste, touch, smell or measure.
I believe it is a term that has been coined to capture a series of negative feelings/emotions . . . there has to be a reason for it . . . I personally don't believe that it is a physical problem. I agree with Wayne Dyer that it is a spiritual problem.
Thomas Moore has a chapter entitled "Depression" in his book "Care of the Soul" that gives a really good spin on the subject . . .
It is not a hopeless condition . . . you JUST have to find out what the issue is, what you like to do, and detox your body (I said "just" because I know it can seem overwhelming) . . . but as they say in 12 step programs . . .one day or one step at a time . . .
But you have to make the effort to do something different.
it is too bad you think tapping is "ridiculous." It moves stagnant energy and allows negative moods to dissipate - like that - it is very powerful. I have to question someone's judgment who would just slough a powerful healing remedy off as "ridiculous" and at the same time stay stuck in the same negative pattern. It is very much playing the role of victim . . .
I am not going to describe the abyss for you. I am not Sylvia Plath and I don't want to revisit that place, even in my mind. I know it is painful. But what is the pain from? Heal that core problem . . . work on that . . .journal about it, dream journal . . . ask for dreams that would be helpful . . .
On the issue of waiting till your mother dies . . . what if it turns out your mother will know no matter what and would be hurt by your actions . . . would that deter you? Hopefully you have some intrinsic reason for living. How can you make your life meaningful? Can you find small pleasures in gardening (I don't care what any article says about "depression") . . .can you find one enjoyable thing to do? Get a pedicure? Go to the park? Go to the library, a bookstore, "pay it forward" (help someone anonymously) - go to an old folks home and visit and ask about their lives and the stories they have to tell - ask them for advice - talk about depressing - at least you aren't in an old folks home.
What else do you have to be grateful for?
Ask angels for guidance - pray to spiritual masters or whomever you pray to and ask for guidance . . .
"it is too bad you think tapping is "ridiculous." It moves stagnant energy and allows negative moods to dissipate - like that - it is very powerful. I have to question someone's judgment who would just slough a powerful healing remedy off as "ridiculous" and at the same time stay stuck in the same negative pattern."
Add that to the list of things I've tried. I do think its ridiculous, but maybe only trying it twice isn't enough. I do know it felt ridiculous when I did try it.
Greatblueheron is right. I've tried CBT, and doing that now. But for whatever reason, no breakthrough for me. But I've been in therapy off and on for years and CBT "should" work in my opinion based on what I know and have read (endless self help psychology books). But I guess I just have a ton of unresolved issues, all of which have crushed my self esteem (wife leaving, job loss, low self esteem even before all of this, etc). So as someone who's been through and tried about everything, I'm at a loss as to how to pull out of this, and believe me, I want to. I absolutely hate my life and would love for it to change, and its not for lack of trying either. People who haven't experienced prolonged depression just can't understand it. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
For the record, I do not drink and I have never done any drugs in my life, so there is no need to to detox. If I had thrown up my hands and said I was hopeless, I wouldnt have said we all have to press on and keep trying now would I? You know nothing about me, what I have tried or what any of the rest of us have done looking for answers. For god sake, stop playing the troll.
I suggest this thread be closed, it isn't helpful to anyone. No one wants to bicker with you endlessly. I'm done responding, I suggest others do the same, lets let this thread die. And to the OP, think before you start a similar thread here.
I'm sorry, but I have to politely disagree with you....
This is a good thread and it will be helpful to folks that read it in the future. And just because 'imcurious' says things that you disagree with, does not mean that his or her's advice is not good and that they are a troll.
If this thread is bothering you that much, probably best to just move onto another thread. No need to close this thread just because some of you disagree with this poster. I personally feel that the posts are helpful.
Remember that there are many many people searching the web for help nowadays and one of them just 'might' find the answers they need in this thread because of one of your responses and it could 'save' them from taking their life .
Best wishes to you all in whatever helps you to overcome depression / suicidal thoughts !!!
JMHO
Quote:
Originally Posted by todd00
For the record, I do not drink and I have never done any drugs in my life, so there is no need to to detox. If I had thrown up my hands and said I was hopeless, I wouldnt have said we all have to press on and keep trying now would I? You know nothing about me, what I have tried or what any of the rest of us have done looking for answers. For god sake, stop playing the troll.
I suggest this thread be closed, it isn't helpful to anyone. No one wants to bicker with you endlessly. I'm done responding, I suggest others do the same, lets let this thread die. And to the OP, think before you start a similar thread here.
This is a good thread and it will be helpful to folks that read it in the future. And just because 'imcurious' says things that you disagree with, does not mean that his or her's advice is not good and that they are a troll.
If this thread is bothering you that much, probably best to just move onto another thread. No need to close this thread just because some of you disagree with this poster. I personally feel that the posts are helpful.
Remember that there are many many people searching the web for help nowadays and one of them just 'might' find the answers they need in this thread because of one of your responses and it could 'save' them from taking their life .
Best wishes to you all in whatever helps you to overcome depression / suicidal thoughts !!!
JMHO
I can't help but notice your location setting and tag line. Of course you're a big proponent of what imcurious is saying. What you don't seem to realize is that imcuriuos is making things WORSE by spewing a line of "stuff." He or she was the same way in POC on a similar thread and I think someone who clearly does not get it is an insult to those of us afflicted with it.
Depression is an illness. If religion works for some, great. But it should not be a form of treatment anymore than what any other bonifide illness deserves - which is medical attention. Imcurious has gone out of its way to insult those of us who deal with this in this thread and I wish it would just move on as it's getting to the point where what it has to say is simply repetition and INSULTS.
And I quote imcurious from a post made over in POC:
Quote:
Some people are just too dull or lazy to look into anything more than popping pills. The "TV People" who believe whatever they hear on TV, including the commercials for drugs . . .
You people can stay ignorant. Pop some more pills and make the drug companies richer. Don't ever do research or question your doctors or even think for yourselves.
I don't mean this facetiously, but if sleep is the only refuge, then I would say sleep, sleep, sleep. Then wake up, take a shower, go to the beach, then find somewhere to volunteer . . .just help out in the kitchen of a homeless shelter . . .
If you have a physical problem, take vitamins, eat a healthy diet, give up smoking, drinking, basically detox your system . . .I know it sounds easier than it might feel . . . but the alternative is to just feel hopeless and give up.
Never give up!!! Go to YouTube and listen to inspirational videos - search on "sound healing," or "EFT" (Emotional Freedom Technique - have you tried it? It is amazing and can change your mood for the better in minutes and it's free!), get acupuncture, have a massage, get a new job, whatever . . . do something different . . . realize you are wallowing . . . I understand what it is like to "be in the pit" - I have been there . . . it is kind of like a spell once you get in there - but before you slip into the pit again, make a list of things to do once your mood is trending downwards . . .have you heard of Rescue Remedy or tried other flower essences? They also work quickly.
There are just so many tools these days . . .in a worse-case, when you are just beside yourself, cry, sob, pet your dog or cat, take a bath, go to sleep, pray like crazy, ask for help, call a crisis line if you have to . . .but don't ever seriously consider suicide. It is one thing to want to die and another to want to kill yourself. I see it as very passive aggressive - acting out in rage and grief.
You know, it really is heartwarming to know that there are truly good and caring people in this world like yourself. If I ever ran into someone that was suicidal or if I ever became that way myself (god forbid) I would always remember the words kind that you have posted here.
I didn't make this thread to condone suicide. Most people in their right minds would never condone such a thing but I can understand why someone would take their own lives. I think when most people are get hurt they get into what I like to call protective mode. It's in those troubling times in life where we are most vulnerable and unfortunately most will not want to reach out when they're hurting to avoid more pain.
You know, it really is heartwarming to know that there are truly good and caring people in this world like yourself. If I ever ran into someone that was suicidal or if I ever became that way myself (god forbid) I would always remember the words kind that you have posted here.
I didn't make this thread to condone suicide. Most people in their right minds would never condone such a thing but I can understand why someone would take their own lives. I think when most people are get hurt they get into what I like to call protective mode. It's in those troubling times in life where we are most vulnerable and unfortunately most will not want to reach out when they're hurting to avoid more pain.
I appreciate the fact you made this thread. Unfortunately, there will be those who come in with a "helpful" attitude, yet if you look at the post directly above yours, I think it's obvious where imcurious is really coming from.
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I'm sorry, but I have to politely disagree with you....
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!!!
