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I have been having a really rough time with eating massive amounts of calories when I'm not hungry. I do it because I have a ton of anxiety and self-esteem issues. Several years ago my life was great... I don't want to get into too much detail but for the past 2-3 years I've been so depressed that my mind shifts between suicidal thoughts and eating obsession nearly every second of the day. I don't have a job because I'm too embarrassed about what I look like. Relationships are out of the question, and I barely have any friends.
When I explain myself to people who will listen, their first response is telling me to go on a diet, but its not that I love food...it's just something to numb me, even though it keeps me depressed. When I am not eating then i'm obsessing about how many calories it's going to take me to lose the amount of weight I need to. All day my mind thinks about calories, how good my life used to be, and how I ruined it by eating and eating and eating. I'm young, I shouldn't feel this way but I'm destroying my life. I dream of jumping off a bridge or slitting my wrists. The only thing that would make me want to live is if I got my old life back. I need help! I've been to several therapists but no one seems to understand what I'm feeling and how much weight and food dominate every aspect of my life.
Are you taking medication? I hope you have health insurance, and can see a doctor to get medication. I also suggest going to the library, and doing some biblio-therapy, read about eating disorders, and emotional eating.
I gained a lot of weight, due to depression, and am slowly taking it off. I have connected with friends, true friends don't judge you based on weight. Those type of people can provide a lot of support.
Just start with a short walk. Life can get better.
I'm not on medication but I'm going to see a new therapist. Thank you for your advice. In terms of exercise, I do go to the gym but that becomes an obsession and if I don't do a certain amount of activity I feel like a failure which makes me even more depressed.
I have been having a really rough time with eating massive amounts of calories when I'm not hungry. I do it because I have a ton of anxiety and self-esteem issues. Several years ago my life was great... I don't want to get into too much detail but for the past 2-3 years I've been so depressed that my mind shifts between suicidal thoughts and eating obsession nearly every second of the day. I don't have a job because I'm too embarrassed about what I look like. Relationships are out of the question, and I barely have any friends.
When I explain myself to people who will listen, their first response is telling me to go on a diet, but its not that I love food...it's just something to numb me, even though it keeps me depressed. When I am not eating then i'm obsessing about how many calories it's going to take me to lose the amount of weight I need to. All day my mind thinks about calories, how good my life used to be, and how I ruined it by eating and eating and eating. I'm young, I shouldn't feel this way but I'm destroying my life. I dream of jumping off a bridge or slitting my wrists. The only thing that would make me want to live is if I got my old life back. I need help! I've been to several therapists but no one seems to understand what I'm feeling and how much weight and food dominate every aspect of my life.
Emotional eating is very real. I was always thin until I got married, and the marriage was not happy. I think I ate to fulfill the the empty space and the sadness at realizing I was not loved. I still struggle with this--I'm trying to become more conscious of whether I am actually HUNGRY before I eat something and if not, try to divert myself into doing something else besides eating. As the poster above me said, taking a walk is a good alternative. It's hard sometimes to force yourself to do it, but you will almost always feel better afterward.
Another thing that stayed with me that I read years ago was not to eat when you are angry. I started to notice I was doing that, too, and since depression is often anger turned inward, that might be a connection. Only you know.
I feel for you and can’t relate fully but understand at the same time (if that makes any sense). I have always been skinny and wanted to gain more weight, others would always point how I needed to eat or put some meat on my bones! It started to take a huge tool on me in high school so I ate and hit the gym. Bought books for males trying to gain weight and muscles and obsessed over gaining weight, to no avail all through high school I was 5’9 and 135 pounds After I graduated I started to gain weight because I got a new job and was stressed out about life and what I wanted to do school wise. From June of 2010 to June 2011 I gained 20 Pounds becoming 5’9 and 155 pounds! I was freaking out my body looked different and I didn’t like it. It was all muscle very little fat and others told me I looked good but I wasn’t happy, I started jogging and obsessing over this little weight I had gained. Piled on with stress I was feeling down due to issues with my parents and college…..maybe even depressed, but now it’s Aug. and I am happy with my body again. I know I’m not perfect but I have an average body and when around other friends they always compliment me about my body, but I still want more muscles! So the moral of my story is please don’t worry about your body even if you were skinny you would have issues with it! NO ONE is happy with their body, others may tell them how great it is etc. but I KNOW they have issues with it! Walk with your head held high and know that no is perfect NO ONE! You are beautiful inside and out and just find some clothes and you well and you will feel much better. I know this isn’t an easy task because it’s always hard to find clothes! It takes me hours to find shirts so don’t give up!
Have you considered foods high in fiber with low calories whenever you get hungry? You may want to consider eating five or more servings of fruits and vegetables whenever you feel hungry in between meals. Oatmeal also works if you get creative.
I buy myself a new flavor of tea, and have at least three cups of tea a day. Whenever I want to eat, I make a cup of tea for myself. I have a whole cupboard of different flavors of tea...it works for me.
I buy myself a new flavor of tea, and have at least three cups of tea a day. Whenever I want to eat, I make a cup of tea for myself. I have a whole cupboard of different flavors of tea...it works for me.
I do this, too! Tea and chewing gum. I have tons of tea, too. An entire two-door cabinet in my kitchen is nothing but tea, and tea filters, and tea pots, etc. It makes me so happy.
I found myself eating when I wasn't hungry, too, quite awhile ago. Especially at night. Hubby and I would watch films and it was like I couldn't just sit and watch the film, I had to be stuffing popcorn or something into my mouth at the same time. I realized that it was an unhealthy habit. So now I do tea or chew gum.
Also, I have two boys who eat an enourmous amount of food and so I'm always cooking. I found myself eating with them... but suddenly realized... WAIT! They are growing, and I'm not, or shouldn't be! lol So now I have to be really careful... I'm always around food because I cook all our meals and snacks and things... but I cannot eat everything I cook. So frustrating, because I do love food!
The Jasmine Pearl Tea Merchants Thought I would share a link to my all-time favorite favorite favorite tea company. I mostly drink their house oolong and their jasmine pearl teas. Rooibos is also good.
Also with tea - it's better if you drink one that does not require milk or sweetener. Otherwise you're still filling yourself with calories and you will still have a weight issue.
Whole leaf organic teas are really delicious. A whole 'nother world away from the bagged stuff.
To the OP my Mom went through what you are going through most of her adult life. Have you tried looking for a for an overeaters annonyamous in your area? It would help you connect with other people and they would also help you find counseling. Dont be ashamed of yourself, there is nothing to be ashamed off. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. My mom evenatually found a way to deal with her feelings and her eating, she joined TOPS, started working out, and did hypnosis. She now runs half marathons ate age 60.
Blessings michelle
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It makes me so happy.
