A discussion about "hoarders" and "hoarding!" (diet, insurance)
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Would you call a guy a hoarder that has a half a dozen old cars in various states of disrepair on his land that he won't part with because he intends to fix them up someday? I wouldn't label the guy that way, but some would.
Yes I would if I was his wife. Or if he is going to repair them someday but that someday never comes. Yeah, my ex had a 59 beetle that he had bought before we got married for $100. It sat in pieces out in the garage for about 8 years then he took it to a distant relative to fix up but that guy took about 3 years. The guy did get it running just enough to drive it the 2 hours to our home and it ran about 3 more hours after that and then quit. Then the ex, who was no mechanic, left it out in the driveway for the next 10 years and then took it over to my mom's property and parked it in her big shed and left it for another 5 years--3 years past the time he had left me and my family was PO'ed about that but never did anything--we finally delivered an ultimatum and he came and picked it up and took it to someone who got it running enough to drive it the 2 hours to where he lives and he's getting ready to go park it at his lover's house. Better the lover than me--he knows I'd spit in his eye if he tried to park it over here since we had some real doozies of fights over that car that ran less than 10 days in 25 years and him no mechanic. Yes, that's hoarding when you're keeping something you can't really use and driving your family bonkers with it.
And hoarding is not a harmless but lovable habit--I was flummoxed when we had to clean up mom's mess--it was huge. I would not have done it for anyone else.
I am dating a guy, who is a hoarder. I could help him clean his house...but that sort of takes our relationship to another level, and I don't want to go there. His home is livable, just a lot of boxes, and junk. Not filth, that would be intolerable.
In my scenario, the guys cars were on his land in the country. Oh maybe his wife might have still been after him to get rid of them. I would label it procrastination in that case not hoarding. In your case if the car was taking your garage space, then I'd see why you'd have a right to complain. If space wasn't the issue but rather the spouse was just after him to get rid of it, just because he wasn't fixing it and it was sitting there, I don't really get that unless he was spending a lot for parts he never got put on the car or something like that. Then it becomes an economic burden. I'd be pretty upset if my ex would have told me to get rid of a project car cause I didn't get on with it as planned. People have all kinds of projects they start and never finish, basements and garages can be full of them. When I was married we each had a spare room for stuff, I had my drums and weights in mine, she had her zillion rolls of material and all kind of junk all over in the other, stuff she would never finish. It was her room, it didn't bother me she could have started a store with all the material rolls and stuff related to sewing and other projects she had. I would have had no right to tell her to finish the stuff pronto or pitch it. Close the door and I didn't have to look at her room if I didn't want to. It was her space.
I never said it can't become a large problem, that is dependent on the individual. I said that you can't lump everyone in one basket as there are varying degrees and situations to be considered. Obviously you are still upset with the ex, and that I understand perfectly. Hoarders are also not all evil deranged nut jobs that are in need of help from meddling people. Some of course do need help in a variety of ways. Help given with sincere kindness, not the back handed type.
I think it's possible to be a hoarder without actually being nasty. I've been in some homes that were full of "collectibles", but it wasnt so bad you needed a bath after leaving. When you've got rotten food and roaches in your fridge, you've got bigger problems than hoarding. I truly think some people are just too lazy to clean.
Hate the burden of stuff...we all tend to hoard to a degree...like that junk drawer...Do I really need those brackets for that antique shelf that has been gone for ten years? Historical stuff or heritage items must be kept if you can, for the next generation. Papers and documents that have sentimental and practical value must be kept....as for most stuff....get rid of it...
I was sent over to a ladies house to do some work...I enter and think...looks like they are doing some renovations and have move things out of the way...on a closer look I came to the realization that I was in a hoarders house....200 cans of soup on a skid in the middle of the kitchen...She made me coffee in the bathroom...It was pitiful..
It is a spiritual crisis...where a person loses their spiritual base and become dependent of the material world for salvation...the more material the more salvation..It's hard to have sympathy for someone who has abandoned the security of God and their own person for 200 cans of soup and a 20 gallon drum of coffee that could not be consumed in 4 life times...Hard core hoarders are lost souls.
Hate the burden of stuff...we all tend to hoard to a degree...like that junk drawer...Do I really need those brackets for that antique shelf that has been gone for ten years? Historical stuff or heritage items must be kept if you can, for the next generation. Papers and documents that have sentimental and practical value must be kept....as for most stuff....get rid of it...
I was sent over to a ladies house to do some work...I enter and think...looks like they are doing some renovations and have move things out of the way...on a closer look I came to the realization that I was in a hoarders house....200 cans of soup on a skid in the middle of the kitchen...She made me coffee in the bathroom...It was pitiful..
It is a spiritual crisis...where a person loses their spiritual base and become dependent of the material world for salvation...the more material the more salvation..It's hard to have sympathy for someone who has abandoned the security of God and their own person for 200 cans of soup and a 20 gallon drum of coffee that could not be consumed in 4 life times...Hard core hoarders are lost souls.
Also: They can not be reasoned with...This lady had a small dog...yet she had four dog cages. I suggest getting rid of three...she could not understand the logic....one dog one cage....not that she even used the dog pens...
Then in walks her enabler...a drunker who liked the woman in the hoarding state...she had money and supplied him with booze...He soon rushed me out the door...and got rid of me in case I helped the poor woman.....
Personally - Spartan living is best...a clean bed...a candle....a book...a bright hard wood floor with a small Persian carpet......................that's it..
I have come to realize, that things don't provide security. Or status. Less is more. You can't take it with you. I am not even close to being a hoarder. Everything I own will fit in my car. Things have a way of holding you back in life.
How about those people stocking up supplies in case of an attack, I guess they are hoarders too. I've read that Mormons are required to keep up to a years supply of food. If that woman had 200 cans of soup, who knows how she got it or why, its her business anyway. As long as she isn't bothering anyone else or hurting anyone. Of course its sad her place was in a state of disrepair, its sad to be sick, poor and alone too. As far as the cages, I might have suggested she move them to the garage if they were in the traffic lane. She might have figured she might need them someday and better to hang on to them than buy new ones at a later date. I see that as no big deal.
I've read that Mormons are required to keep up to a years supply of food.
Just a quick note: Mormons aren't required to have enough food on hand for tonight's dinner. They are encouraged to be prepared for unforseen circumstances.
I once had a house fire and lost almost everything I owned. It's weird to realize that the only pair of underwear you own are the ones you are wearing, but it was also very cleansing to lose all of my possessions. Only one thing tore my heart out about that fire, and that was the loss of my first cat (he wasn't burned, but probably died from being thrown when oxygen from the door fed the fire and it sort of exploded.)
By 12 years later I'd acquired more crap (and four new cats, lol), and then I moved three times in a year. I got rid of stuff each time, and now I'm down to a minimum and could probably toss out more stuff now after two years here. I don't want to have a lot of stuff.
I have watched Hoarders, but I couldn't after a few episodes. I have no patience for that one-at-a-time "do you want this little piece of pottery" or "do you want this baking pan" method. Bring in the Caterpillar equipment, put the heifer in a straightjacket, and let her scream it out.
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Yes, that's hoarding when you're keeping something you can't really use and driving your family bonkers with it. 
