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Really just looking for advice on how to move on with my life and not how to do my job. Shouldn't have bothered posting. Mod, feel free to close this topic.
You have two choices: (1) Break the contract and contracts are broken all the time or view it as paying dues for the position you would like to have (2) Seek help in how to MANAGE the children in the classroom. Also, it might be a good idea to find a forum/group where they discuss strategies and coping in classrooms with children like you are dealing with or consider therapy to help you through this.
I don't see anyone here "telling you how to do your job" but rather sharing coping strategies to help you deal with the situation that you are in and a few strategies to extract you from it or to get more support from your employer. There was some really decent advice here given by people that took their time to help you. If you could clear out that "Woe is me" cloud perhaps you could see some of it for what it is. Maybe your meds aren't working like they should. It might be time for a medial review. No disrespect intended. Take what you need and leave the rest....
The extent of your depression sounds like you'd be eligible to take sick leave from your current job. Now that would preclude taking the Hawaii job, even if it is still available, but it would get you out of an untenable situation without violating the terms of your contract. HTH
OP, do they not have CPI training at your school? All of us had to do it and while you can't strike a child, they do show you how to restrain one who is out of control, as well as techniques to defuse a situation that is leading up to a loss of control. I got attacked with a knife once at my school before I had the training but now I would know what to do and how to head it off before it ever got to that point.
The extent of your depression sounds like you'd be eligible to take sick leave from your current job. Now that would preclude taking the Hawaii job, even if it is still available, but it would get you out of an untenable situation without violating the terms of your contract. HTH
Disability or breaking the contact...whatever you need to do, get out of there. It's your only chance of saving your mental health. There are worse things than breaking contracts. I've done it before.
-Advice from a teacher of 18 years with depression as well.
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