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Goals. Little goals, big goals. Daily goals, weekly goals, long term goals. When your mind wanders to the past, focus on your goals. This is great for not living in the past. It even helps people who have a problem with worrying about the future because it gives them the power to influence their future.
Live in the moment. That was a difficult concept for me. My mind wanders while doing dishes. What do I think about while doing dishes? I asked a therapist and she said to think of the water and bubbles. Whatever. My mind is too complex for something so simple. Then I realized that living in the moment isn't necessarily THE moment. It can be today, this week, etc.
Google "living in the moment." You'll find all sorts of inspirational positive things, such as focusing on breathing (yoga is a great for many things). Exercise is a great way to live in the moment. Slowing down. Living a simple life. Finding joy in daily activities such as cooking or cleaning. Whatever works for you. Just read as many websites and books about "living in the moment." That will help you brainstorm the ideas that work for you and your lifestyle.
Don't listen to music from the period you want to forget.
Don't look at old pictures.
Don't sit around reminiscing.
I am talking about specific events, from the past, not so much the music or old pictures. I DO hate old pictures of myself, hell I hate pictures of myself period!!!
Goals. Little goals, big goals. Daily goals, weekly goals, long term goals. When your mind wanders to the past, focus on your goals. This is great for not living in the past. It even helps people who have a problem with worrying about the future because it gives them the power to influence their future.
Live in the moment. That was a difficult concept for me. My mind wanders while doing dishes. What do I think about while doing dishes? I asked a therapist and she said to think of the water and bubbles. Whatever. My mind is too complex for something so simple. Then I realized that living in the moment isn't necessarily THE moment. It can be today, this week, etc.
Google "living in the moment." You'll find all sorts of inspirational positive things, such as focusing on breathing (yoga is a great for many things). Exercise is a great way to live in the moment. Slowing down. Living a simple life. Finding joy in daily activities such as cooking or cleaning. Whatever works for you. Just read as many websites and books about "living in the moment." That will help you brainstorm the ideas that work for you and your lifestyle.
I like the goals idea.
Washing dishes is one of my most favorite
tasks...it goes better if I am looking out a window while washing dishes. I can contemplate the day or the leaves on the trees. IF there is not a window MUSIC helps. When I can, I believe I will get a language C.D and listen to THAT while doing dishes. Or house work.
If reliving events from the past is emotionally painful, are they events you had no control over, or ones that you did have control over?
None of us can eliminate past experiences, they are with us until we die. However, making peace with painful memories is the key to moving forward.
If we believe we caused the problem - we need to forgive ourselves.
If someone else caused the problem - we need to forgive them. Realize that forgiving someone is necessary to remove our own emotional pain, it isn't excusing them from their wrong.
As much as we'd like to, we can never return to the past and redo things, the bell has already rung. But we can learn from the past and use what we've learned to help us now and in the future.
Effexor. I'm on a high dose of it, and it doesn't always fix my lack of energy or lack of motivation, or even the depression, but it takes care of the rejection sensitivity, crabbiness, resentfulness and nostalgia for my childhood and missing my dead loved ones. I'd be dead without it.
Oh boy! I'll tell you unashamedly that I am living in the past. I am reliving all my mistakes and short comings. I am grieving the loss of my son and I'm not through blaming myself. I so wish I could rewind the clock and do things right, undo my mistakes, do what what I should have/could have done better. Oh boy!
Quote:
None of us can eliminate past experiences, they are with us until we die. However, making peace with painful memories is the key to moving forward.
If we believe we caused the problem - we need to forgive ourselves.
If someone else caused the problem - we need to forgive them. Realize that forgiving someone is necessary to remove our own emotional pain, it isn't excusing them from their wrong.
As much as we'd like to, we can never return to the past and redo things, the bell has already rung. But we can learn from the past and use what we've learned to help us now and in the future.
You are so right, katie45. I need to take your advice! Thank you.
Oh boy! I'll tell you unashamedly that I am living in the past. I am reliving all my mistakes and short comings. I am grieving the loss of my son and I'm not through blaming myself. I so wish I could rewind the clock and do things right, undo my mistakes, do what what I should have/could have done better. Oh boy!
You are so right, katie45. I need to take your advice! Thank you.
You are very welcome.
We learn so much from each other. And the terrible trauma you've suffered may at some point be of help to someone else going through the same thing. No one can relate better than a person who has also experienced the same, or similar situation.
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Or house work.
