Anxiety at the thought of him dating someone else

[stormynh]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

What was the point of upping this thread? Did you provide any constructive criticism? No. You're just speaking to me like I'm sort of idiot. The "Are you understanding this?" was unnecessary. I understand and given the extent of you response, this matter is not your business. I can only understand when people are speaking to me in an intelligent manner, not a derogatory one.

We are not professionals. You are being totally obtuse. Listen hard .....speak to a professional on this exact problem. Just because you are seeing a counselor isn't enough you need to bring up this problem. I'm not sure what is so tricky about that.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by LostinPhilly

Please, don't make fun of my post or my position because this is a serious question. I wish I weren't feeling this way, but I unfortunately do.


I dated someone rather briefly almost three/two years ago. We "dumped" me by basically ghosting because I was not ready to go as fast as he wanted us two.

I have since moved countries about four times, met new people, found myself a bit more but despite the exciting appearences, I've been thinking of him daily for the past two years. We haven't spoken since he ghosted and I later removed any social media presence I ever had. At this stage, I'm purely a ghost.

The problem is that I reactivated my Facebook after two years and although his profile reads "single", it's crystal clear he's been dating someone. He told me he hated redheads now he's dating one. He seems to be very much into her.

Even though I don't check his Facebook daily, picturing him with her kills me. I literally feel physically sick/nauseous at the thought of him giving her the attention and affection he never gave me. Tears start rolling whenever I see a picture, followed by nausea (for real) and an anxiety attack (really). I can barely breathe.

I have never reacted so strongly to one of my exes dating someone new. I usually don't care because by the time we parted ways, I had already moved on. I never cared about their lives after me. For this one, it is different. I have met plenty of guys since him but nothing panned out. Strong attractions which made me forget about him for a couple of months but none of them lead to anything.

I don't know why I get a physical reaction to an ex dating or liking someone new. This is rather extreme. I've already undergone therapy and I'm always out, having fun, but when I get home at night, it's a different story.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I have similar feelings about someone who I went out with a few times almost SIX years ago. Luckily, his Facebook is private so I can't see if/who he's dating because I'd be upset too. I don't think about him every day or anything, but it's always painful when I do. I kind of wish I had never met him because I'm afraid no one else will ever compare. But to be honest, there are other guys who I liked less, but would still feel bad if I saw pics of them in happy relationships. Just because it's something that I want for myself, even if I don't necessarily want it with them. So you're not alone.